I still haven't figured out MEN

[MissHoneychurch]

ARGH :banghead:

[RevCheesehead]

1. Really?

Simple rule: 2 legs good, 3 legs better. ;)

[MissHoneychurch]

3. the physical isn't the problem

:evilgrin:

it is more the mental :banghead:

[RevCheesehead]

5. There's a mental?

:shrug: who'd have guessed?

[MissHoneychurch]

8. That might explain it

that I am looking for something that isn't there

[RevCheesehead]

15. Miss Honeychurch, let me tell you a story.

On the day that God created Adam, they had a conversation.
Adam is amazed at his body, and thanks God for the gift of life.
God says, "Adam, within that body are two amazing gifts."
"Really? Tell me more!"
"The first gift is your brain. With it you can explore the wonders of the universe, find solutions to complex problems, and create artistic ways to express your innermost soul."

"Wow! Thanks, God! Now, what's the other one?"
"The second gift is your penis. With it you will be driven to the edge of ecstasy. Trust me on this - you won't be disappointed."

"That is just amazing, God! That you'd give me these very special gifts! I don't know what to say."

"Well, Adam - there's just one catch that I haven't been able to fix yet."

"what?"
"It seems you can't use the two at the same time."

[MissHoneychurch]

18. ...

:rofl:

[tigereye]

50. rev do you tell that story in the pulpit

or just in the teen classes?

:rofl:

I don't entirely agree, but it is a great story.

[RevCheesehead]

51. I tell that story whenever it needs to be told.

:evilgrin:

[tigereye]

53. you know, maybe I should find a Rev. as cool as you

and start going back to church! :hi:

[khashka]

63. You my dear

are a man-hater and I should be very angry with you. But your story made orange juice spurt out of my nose. So true.... so funny.


Khash.

[RevCheesehead]

64. Au contraire, Khash....

I :loveya: the men-folks. Especially the sexy men-folks of DU. There is nothing more attractive than a progressive mind. ;)

[tjdee]

2. Food, sex, and silence. That's all you need to know.

Sayeth the wise one Chris Rock--that's all guys want. Food, sex, and silence.

Take that information and use it as you will.

[MissHoneychurch]

4. ahhh ... the silence thing

can you explain that to me?

[tjdee]

7. They don't want you to talk too much.

You're not supposed to tell them all about your friend's sister's bone operation, how your day was at work (if it goes beyond "fine" or "I got fired"), why you no longer eat potatoes...

They definitely do NOT want to talk about where this relationship is going, whether they love you, etc.

[MissHoneychurch]

11. but why can't men call by themselves?

and say "sorry, I won't be able to make it" Are we supposed to read their minds????

[tjdee]

24. You're supposed to go "He's just not that into me."

Someone here posted something that I saved in Notepad, and it made perfect sense.

Here it is:

"Take it from a guy: If you're in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon. You're going to get to her somehow, some way, and you're going to do it in something under five years."

If a guy is acting jerkish, or not calling, or saying he can't make it, or whatever, he's basically not *that* interested *right now*.

Fuck being busy or whatever--if you want someone, you fuckin' act like it. You *do* call, you *do* say you can't make it.

[MissHoneychurch]

29. over the last months

he kept sending me text messages, keeping contact with me, even though I told him I can't give him more than friendship at that moment. So right now we are in a situation where we try to get together and find out more about us. I wouldn't say we are in love yet.

[tjdee]

37. I see what you're saying...

And obviously you know more about your situation than we do.
In context, maybe he just had an off day for whatever reason.

But letting you wait all day is not a "I'm interested in you" move. It might be a "friendship" move, as in, that's how he'd treat a pal of his--which is what you told him you wanted.

Or, I'm just talking out of my butt. :silly: You know this guy better than we do.

I hope it works out for you, anyway.

[MissHoneychurch]

41. by now it is more than friendship

when I told him that, I was just out of a relationship, so I was not open for anything new. And he tells me he wants more than friendship with me. We are trying to have a date for about a month by now. Either I already had plans, or he didn't had the time or either one of us was sick. Life sucks sometimes.

[tjdee]

44. I'm very horrible, LOL.

See, to me, if he's saying he wants more than friendship, he'd best be proving it. He's not waiting for me to text him three times to tell me he's at work (just read your other post, forget this part, LOL). He'd be working on getting that first date to happen in less than a month, even if that first date was only half an hour. You want something, you work for it.

Of course, I have no dates and I have no anything, so it's exceedingly easy for me to say that. :)

I seem to remember you posting a bit here about your ex (I think?) and I'm glad that you're out there and ready again. It's a hard place to get to, and yay for you! :toast:

[MissHoneychurch]

49. yes, I am out there again in the game

and he is a guy I am interested in. And I think he is too. At least that is the impression he gives me on the phone and when we chat with each other.
The meeting would be less complicated if we didn't live two hours apart. And it was also me who said "sorry, not this weekend".

[uniden]

40. MissHoneychurch

"we are in a situation where we try to get together and find out more about us."

what are his rewards? How much longer would he need to do that? That's the game. You are both in a game with somewhat different intetions; if it was up to him, you'd be having sex right now.

[Seabiscuit]

56. That could explain it. What would you expect from a text messager???

[Floogeldy]

10. If a man is silent . . .

. . . you have done something to hurt him. I'm not saying you intentionally hurt him. But he probably had some expectation that was not fulfilled. Something simple.

:)

[MissHoneychurch]

13. I haven't done anything

I just had a date with him and it took a couple of text messages before he told me in the EVENING that he is at work. Couldn't he had told me that in the afternoon already??????

[Floogeldy]

20. Why is that important?

So what if he is at work? :shrug:

[MissHoneychurch]

22. uhhhh

maybe I was waiting for him the whole day?

[tjdee]

28. How many times did you text him?

That's not being silent! :scared:

[MissHoneychurch]

30. 3 times

in the afternoon and in the evening

[tjdee]

39. Not silence, not silence!!

:crazy:

Once would have done fine, and twice if you really couldn't help it...

You don't want to appear too interested, LOL, didn't you ever read The Rules?? (LOL, Don't!)

[MissHoneychurch]

43. the 3rd time was

only after he told me he would call me back in a little bit(and it was an hour before I sent that text message).

I know The Rules. And I am very good at advicing them to friends. Now if I have to play by The Rules myself .... :eyes:

[tjdee]

45. I thought it was thrice before he answered.

Oh Miss Honeychurch, I'm just kidding around with ya.

I am sure you're acting delightfully and know what you're doing.

I just like to run my mouth about other people's business sometimes!

[MissHoneychurch]

47. no , he answered right after the first

and no, I don't always know what I am doing :)

[Floogeldy]

31. Well . . . .

When you say "I just had a date," do you mean you were supposed to be on a date with him today and he is at work instead?

If he had a date with you and didn't show up because he was at work, then he is just an idiot. Nothing more to figure out. :)

[MissHoneychurch]

34. he got called into work

didn't plan on it. So it isn't really his fault, but it sucks nevertheless. And I am a bit pissed that he just told me in the evening. I don't mind waiting on him, I just hate sitting around not knowing what is going on.

[NashVegas]

72. Oh Wait, That's Bullshit

You had a mutually planned date with him? He gets called into work and can't be bothered to inform you of this?

That's bullshit. That's amazingly inconsiderate. So what if your enjoyable evening doesn't *depend* on him.

If a platonic friend made plans with you and had to cancel, but didn't bother to inform you of this until the last minute, even though they knew all day, what would you think? Rude? Inconsiderate?

Would you be pissed? Would you tell them?

You need to lay some manners on him.

[LSdemocrat]

19. There's no point talking unless something important is being said

[JVS]

48. Something kick-ass or funny qualifies as important though!

Just trying to make things clear

[uniden]

25. How was day

is a 45 minute conversation to a woman says this man http://www.chrisrock.com/

cut it down to "pretty good." No complaints or detailed descriptions, unless it's something really bad.

[JVS]

46. If you are thinking of saying something, DON'T

That is the golden rule

[tigereye]

52. I think both men and women like to talk a lot

you will stay with someone longer if you learn to enjoy talking... JMO

[JVS]

78. No, we like quiet

[Lydia Leftcoast]

59. Unless it's about professional sports

Some men can talk endlessly about professional sports, cars, gadgets, or whatever THEY'RE interested in, but they won't return the favor.

[JVS]

79. sports and funny things are exceptions to the rule, those things are cool

[Floogeldy]

6. Yes.

There really is nothing to figure out.

[Call Me Wesley]

9. Now look what you've done!

[MissHoneychurch]

14. you are bad

:spank:

[Call Me Wesley]

26. LOL.

Seems I get a lot of spankings these days! ;)

[WCGreen]

12. MHC... I am shocked that you would make such

a sweeping generalization...

Men are very easy to figure out...

Beer, sex, more beer, football, sex, more beer, a fast car, sex, sleep...

That seems to be all there is to it...

If you believe the American media perception of Malehood....

[MissHoneychurch]

16. I am shocked

sex is not on position one?????

[WCGreen]

17. Well, sometimes the beer helps a guy get up the nerve to

ask for sex.....

[MissHoneychurch]

21. but then he is too drunk

to perform it properly ....

[WCGreen]

23. There in lies the rub....

But you are drinking good strong German beer... Americans tend to drink lite beer....

[Truebrit71sbruv]

55. Depends on how big the match...

... or how good the beer... :evilgrin:

[Parrcrow]

61. All we want is....

Things that are bright and shiny

Things that are round and soft

Things that make loud noises

Things with moving parts

Blocks of wood

and to be adored

[LaurenG]

27. Just be you

the man who loves you for you no matter what is truly a gift, you won't need to figure him out, it will just click. :hug: But do tell, is he kind AND handsome?

[MissHoneychurch]

33. he is

:blush:

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

32. It's only because you haven't met me yet.

:-) :hi: :hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

35. ...

:D

then what are you waiting for?

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

36. Probably that whole "never been to Germany" thing.

But I'm going to Rome for Christmas. Does that count? :D

[MissHoneychurch]

38. it is closer for sure

only 8-10 hours drive :)

[Guy Fawkes]

42. Food.

That's all there is to it.

[Wapsie B]

54. Sometimes I wish we could change genders for a week or a month

to walk a mile in the other's moccasins. I don''t have any astounding revelation about figuring out men. We want to get laid, sure. But we want a woman who loves us in spite of ourselves, someone who'll be a friend as well as a lover.

[RevCheesehead]

57. ....who says we don't?

:hug:

gotta run and finish the bulletin.

[Wapsie B]

58. don't what?

like us in spite of ourselves? :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

60. no, you said:

"a woman who loves us in spite of ourselves"

To a woman, love is a multi-dimensional emotion. :hug:

[Wapsie B]

65. and that's what makes women

so damn sexy. i agree with that. and honestly it is for a guy as well. true love is more than having a sex partner. there's a mental connection, two like-minded souls if you will. it's just that some of us guys don't show that side of our personalities very well. i'm as guilty of that as anyone.

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

67. Practice makes perfect, BWA.

That's what I tell my church-folk, anyways.

[Wapsie B]

68. Yes it does Miss Cheese.

I'll be practicing until I meet my maker. Love is worth fighting for. The desire to love and be loved drives me like no other.

[hfojvt]

62. "I'm not even supposed to be here today!!!"

A classic line from "Clerks"

I am not sure what there is to figure out. Nor if there is something that can be figured out which will be applicable to all men at all times and in all situations. I think I am pretty easy to figure out, but I had one co-worker who said that our boss couldn't figure me out. Which made it harder for him to bully me. It should not be hard to figure out that I do not like to be bullied, but the world is a very gamey place, and for the most part I do not play the games, which of course, just makes me another kind of player - sometimes a very bad one, and sometimes a good one.

[Orsino]

66. You may be overcomplicating matters.

If you start with the assumption that there is something to figure out, you'll wear yourself out looking for the secret.

As I've opined before, we want to be treated like kings. Not all the time, depending upon individual insecurity, but every once in a while we want our partners to be in awe of our sheer damned manliness. Give us that sometimes, and we'll do almost anything for you.

[In_The_Wind]

69. Damn!

:hug:

[GOPisEvil]

70. Our evil plan is working!

Muahahahahahaha! :evilgrin:

Sorry - we suck sometimes. :hug:

[SOteric]

71. Bah. Gender's irrelevant

to the issue of bafflement. The whole human race is unfathomable.

And cats. Cats too.

[GOPisEvil]

75. Very true. Much baffle-age in the world.

But, through it all, we* still manage to find and keep one another, so it can be overcome.

*This refers to the royal we of course.

[Wapsie B]

77. Yes. Very much so.

[flvegan]

73. You only need to know two words: We're idiots.

Really.

There, all figured out.

[LeftyMom]

74. You're aiming too high

There's no point in trying to understand men as a group. Trying to understand one is a lifetime's work.

[bridgit]

76. Sigh no more ladies, sigh no more...

Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.

Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny, nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no more
Of dumps so dull and heavy,
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leafy.

Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny, nonny, nonny.

Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny, nonny, nonny.

Words by William Shakespeare ~

:hi:

[NNadir]

80. You cannot figure men out. The best you can do is to figure out a man.

We have never been able to figure out women. Some of us have figured out a woman.

I have figured out a woman. I love her very much.

[NMMNG]

81. Uh oh, did the date go that bad?

:scared: