Serious question here -- has anyone ever been involved in an

[driver8]

intervention? Let me explain further:

I have a very good friend (I'll call Joe) who found out his wife was cheating on him. This happened about two years ago. He went through some tough times -- lots of drinking and cocaine use. He wrecked a car and also came very close to losing his job.

Some guys at work that he respects took Joe aside and told him he was fucking up and was lucky he was still working. He seemed to get his shit together for awhile -- we played golf a couple of times and he seemed like his old self.

I haven't seen Joe or talked to him in the past six months. When I call him I don't get a return call. I found out that he was let go from his job (he is a sound editor) because he wasn't reliable. This is after working here for ten years and winning five Emmy awards. (He works in a different department than me.)

I was at the wedding this past weekend of a mutual friend of ours. I ran into Joe's brothers and they told me he is doing a lot of coke again. He didn't even bother to show up for our friend's wedding.

I am really worried about Joe and I am trying to figure out a way that I can help him. He is a charming guy and has a way of making everyone think he is ok, but he is fucking up big time.

Have any of you ever been involved in an intervention? If so, did it work?

If you have any other suggestions, I would love to hear them.

[NMDemDist2]

1. you may want to ask in the Addiction and Recovery Group

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=336

an intervention is a very structured thing where friends and family lay out the actions they will take if "Joe" refuses to go into treatment. An intervention counselor is highly recommended before attempting it

All interventions work, although not immediately. Some folks go into recovery, some folks keep drinking and drugging for a while but the seed is planted. It can cause a lot of pain in the family when they go wrong.

Do you have a mutual friend in recovery? that would be the place to start I'd expect.

Good luck but there's not really much you can do until Joe decides he's had enough.

[driver8]

2. Thank you -- your reply is very informative. I will post this

in the Addiction and Recovery Group.

Thanks again!

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[driver8]

4. So sorry to hear about your father in law.

I can only imagine the guilt your husband must have felt.

Thank you for your post...and the hug!

[GirlinContempt]

5. Contact your local addictions foundation

In my experience they'll set up a meeting between yourself and a counselor so you can talk about the situation and come up with ideas, they'll provide you with information, and support. If nothing else, talking to them on the phone may help.
I've dealt with this before in my family, so I have a hundred ideas, however, I think the best thing for you to do is contact a professional who deals with this kind of stuff all the time.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

6. Yes

We did an intervention for my sister. She stayed sober a year and her relapse was because she refused to go to AA.

The way it worked was, we contacted a local rehab center. A counselor came and worked with all the participatns (me, my husband, two colleagues, her boss and my mother) to help us come up with statements. We had her bags packed (we bought new stuff) and the money arrangements handled before we arrived.

She was drunk but we went ahead. We sat in a circle and each told her one way her drinking had affected us and we ended the statement with "and I want you to get help." We were told to make the second statement more severe to the first, because often they don't get to the second statement. My second statement was a doozie because it basically said "I am Baker Acting you and you are going no matter what you say." But she gave in before I had to do that.

It is a very effective procedure.

Good luck to you.

[chknltl]

7. Yes, I have been involved in 2 interventions,

I got the ball started on those 2 interventions. Both cases got the addicted person involuntarily committed to drug rehab... both cases the person stayed off the drugs but one went on to get busted for a sex crime while the other wound up pregnant and married. I hope she is doing well. I have lost touch with both years ago. In both cases the parents were involved in the interventions, There seems to be some sort of requirement about that in Washington state. Interventions need not involve the law, we used the advice of a "Mental Health Professional" both times who recommended us to very good drug intervention specialists. In a third case, where I trusted my step-daughters ex-boyfriend who is an alcoholic and into "pills" and crack-cocaine I wound up robbed of a significant amount of $. My moral here is be careful and do not trust the drug abuser.

[pitohui]

8. didn't work

it cost my friend's family a lot of money but the screwed-up brother got out and is the same as ever

don't know what to tell you

i think yr friend has made his choice, he chose cocaine

talk to a professional if you want to continue w. this