Computer Idiots, I Have A Question

[THUNDER HANDS]

You know the little slot in the front of the computer, the one too small for pop tarts, but just large enough for your credit card - what's supposed to go in there?

Oh, also...

My computer says I have a virus, but I feel fine personally. How exactly do these machines know when someone is ill? Are there sensors built into the keyboard or is the machine just really really smart?

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks

:hi:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

1. the slot

is for your driver's licence in case you ever need to show identification when making a purchase online.

if your computer says it has a virus, soak it in the bathtub with some Dawn Detergent (just a drop or two will do). Some people scrub the motherboard down but this can damage the machine, just let it soak a little bit. This kills the viruses.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

2. And make sure...

That you turn it on while it is wet. The pretty sparks generate Ozone, and ozone is well known for it's antiseptic properties.

[Yavin4]

3. Your Computer Has A Virus?

Didn't you tell it to use protection when having with other computers?

[Brucey]

4. What do you mean by "computer?"

What is being computed?

[qb]

5. The cupholder on my computer broke.

Why don't they make computers with sturdier cup holders?

[TXlib]

6. The slot's for cheese.

You know, the Kraft individually-wrapped singles.

Just unwrap one, pop it in the little slot, and in a few minutes you'll have a cheese sandwich.

Pop out the little cup-holder dohickey, and put your beer there while you're waiting...

[ParanoidPat]

7. Virus? ALWAYS USE A COMPUTER CONDOM!!!!

....'cause ya can't put a rubber on a floppy! :evilgrin:

[LuLu550]

8. I may be showing my age

but it may be for 8-track tapes.
:hippie:

[tekriter]

9. I just bought a new digital 8-track...

and a high-definition Sharpie marker.

[LTR]

10. WOW! You have the Ultra-advanced version

With the SexSim application!

Jsut unzip your pants and... well, youcan figure out the rest!

Geeks need lovin' too!

[Cleita]

11. I'm a computer idiot!

:hi: I don't know. :bounce:

[Ellen Forradalom]

12. a) That's where you get your cash when you bank online.

b) Your former lovers reported you to the Health Dept.