just found out from a friend that a guy i graduated with committed suicide

[LastKnight]

i didnt know him very well, but my friend is absolutley in pieces... anyone have anything funny i can show her... try cheer her up, get a laugh or something?

what do you say to somone who tells you something like that, i wanna help her but i donno how

and im kinda in shock, as well...

[JVS]

1. There is no cheering up from news like that

Just chill and watch some TV with your friend

[BlondieK143]

2. You can help her by being there for her.

That's an awful thing to have to go through and she's going to need your friendship. Unfortunately, you can't say anything to make it better. Just be there and be the shoulder that she'll need.

[LastKnight]

3. im trying... but shes real closed off about it...

which worries me, shes a very 'out in the open' personality, and i havent seen her so reserved about anything. she has barley said anything to me about it the whole time weve been talking...

ive known her for over half my life, weve even dated at one point... nothing too serious but we know each other pretty well and ive never seen her like this.

im not pushing her, but usuially she cant wait to tell anyone and everyone about everything.

[BlondieK143]

10. That's pretty normal given the situation.

Contine to NOT push her. She'll open up when it's right for her.

[In_The_Wind]

4. you're so very young to lose a friend like that ...

I'm so sorry for all of you ... ><... do you think she would laugh at angry cats ???


:hug: to you LastKnight ... PM me if you need to talk

[LastKnight]

6. thanks for the offer...

but its more of an eye opener for me... considering i was ready to do what he did not so long ago... but i didnt really know him... i graduated last year and he was a friend of friends... one of those people youve hung out with once or twice by association of other friends... but you knew after high school you would never see them again. not to be morbid, but i guess im right.

im more concearned about my friend than myself... donno what to say to her, i know theres nothing i can say or do at this point that can turn it around just like that... but i want her to know im there for her which ive said, but i donno if i got through especially since we've been hundreds of miles apart at our own schools, we really havent been talking much in the last 9 months and we never really reconnected after school let out, conflicting schedules and such.

hmm really worried about her. havent seen her this rough in years.

[In_The_Wind]

8. is there anyway that you could spend time together in person

just talking about what you have to live for ... the possibilities for happiness are all around us. I've thought about suicide more than once but my love for my pets and knowing that their lives wouldn't be wouldn't be the same without me kept me here. I'm glad they did because life is becoming easier as I age.

BTW ... I'm glad that you didn't take the wrong way to leave this lifetime :hug: I believe that we are here on earth to learn and the lessons that we don't learn in this lifetime we will learn in the next. I would rather my next lifetime be filled with more love and gentleness. That won't happen if I do an early check out.

[LastKnight]

12. ill try get her out to eat with me or something soon...

something i was gonna try and do anyway... guess the tone of things will be less joking more serious.

[In_The_Wind]

13. There is nothing funny about suicide

... also remember everything changes ... nothing can be so horrible that it can't be made better with time and people who care.



Our very existence makes a difference because we are all inherently good ... the energy of the good things that we do lives on after us.



may I suggest a walk around a botanical garden instead of a noisy restaurant to talk about the beauty that make life worth living

[NMMNG]

5. This is not really the time for anything funny

No matter how well intentioned. The best thing you can do for your friend is just be there with her. You might ask her if there is anything specific you can get her/do for her, but otherwise just be there for her. Hugs are always appreciated unless she is a "hands off" sort of person. :hug:

[LastKnight]

7. yea...

i thought of that but we both have been 'laugh it off' type of people. and i know that this is something that dosent really apply to the situation... thus my dilemma... i dont know how to do anything for her.

[fleabert]

9. Just tell her you are there for her, and then do it.

you don't have to talk about if she isn't ready, but be there if she is. don't try and act like it didn't happen, don't avoid the subject, and I doubt there is any joke or bit that could cheer her up right now.

Perhaps you could donate a small amount in her friends name, on her behalf to a suicide prevention non-profit? or donate some of your time if you are short on cash?

everyone grieves their own way, but everyone needs to know that there is someone there just in case we feel like talking, crying, screaming, or just being silent.

there are lots of things on the net about suicide and what people have gone thru following the suicide of a friend or loved one, google it and maybe you can get a good perspective on where she's at right now. Perhaps giving her some good links that you find will help her heal?

[LastKnight]

11. thanks for the ideas...

shes gone to bed now, but ill keep these things in mind.

[LastKnight]

14. kick.

still donno what to say to her, or how to talk to her.. i probably wont talk to her until tonight but still id like some help with ideas, ill check this thread throughout the day but ive got some stuff to do.

thanks to all replies in advance.