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rene moon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:20 PM
Original message
"My Husband won't let me cut my hair"
My sister's friend said this to me recently, after I was talking about cutting my hair short again. It's currently shoulder-length but I want to chop it off.

Sue couldn't believe that I didn't "consult" my husband about my hair. I said, "why should I, it's not his hair".

All she did was look at the ground and say, "my husband won't let me cut my hair".

My sister said, "well, they are Jehovah Witness", but I have heard this before from people who are non-religious and supposedly progressive.

Do some men out there think that they are possessive of everything that is on our body?

Thoughts?

:wtf:
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LiberalVoice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. I think its fucking ridiculous to tell an SO when they can or cant...
cut their hair. :shrug:
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Avalux Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:24 PM
Response to Original message
2. I know a woman like that -
Edited on Sun Jun-12-05 02:24 PM by sparosnare
she's 43 and has thin stringy hair down to her butt. It really isn't attractive and she complains about it all the time. I said "you should cut it off". She told me her husband won't let her and told her he'd leave her if she EVER got it cut. So yeah, some men see their 'women' as possessions.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. If a man wanted leave me over my cutting my hair...
I'd be inclined to say "Good riddance."

I do realize it's not that simple, though.
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Bill McBlueState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. ticket
"told her he'd leave her if she EVER got it cut"

sounds like an easy ticket out of a controlling relationship, if you ask me!
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rene moon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. I've heard the same thing before
I say, if your men threatens to leave you because you "cut your hair", then good riddance!

Do these assholes not know that hair grows back????
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meow2u3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #6
21. If your man threatens to leave you because you cut your hair
then take his ass to divorce court and take him for every penny he has--and then some! That'll teach him!
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Bill McBlueState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:26 PM
Response to Original message
3. I bet the husband is part of Promise Keepers.
This is just another area where some people are living on a completely different planet from the rest of us. The idea that I could order my wife not to cut her hair is so far removed from the way we do things that it almost has to come from beyond the atmosphere.
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crimson333 Donating Member (760 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. considering it says they are Jehovah Witness
He is not part of promise keepers


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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. That man obviously needs a shovel beating.
Hit him upside the head with a shovel, roll him up in a tarp, and throw him off a bridge.

Then we can work on deprogramming her.
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
9. I hate that phrase "Let me" someone asked me if i "Let" my husband
Edited on Sun Jun-12-05 03:05 PM by chimpsrsmarter
play golf which he almost never does because of work but i said to her "Whet am i his mother? he's 41 years old, he doesn't need my permission"
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
10. I've heard women say that
I could not and would not stay with any man who thought he had a right to determine how i wear my hair.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
11. I hesitate to judge just anyway, but when I really don't know
the people involved, I tend to assume that perhaps she's too modest to say that her husband adores her hair longer and she'd hate to disappoint him.
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 03:00 PM
Response to Original message
12. I like long hair but I wouldn't be a Nazi about it though
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 03:04 PM
Response to Original message
13. I work w/ a Jehovah Witness.
She gets haircuts on a regular and w/o asking her husband. On a few occasions when he was out of town she has gotten a haircut and then made a comment something like "I hope that he likes it. I wanted to look nice for when he got home."
It had nothing to do w/ worrying about her husband getting mad and everything to do w/ just wanting to look nice for when her husband got home from his business trip.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
14. I hate that "let" bullshit
I've heard it both ways - the husband who will so kindly "let" his wife go out with her friends or the wife who "lets" her husband go bowling. Someone recently asked me if I "let" my husband do something and it took me aback. I've got three kids - I don't need anymore.

The other one that gets me is when men talk about "babysitting" their kids. "Oh, I can't go out Thursday, Phil. The wife's got me babysitting." :wtf: When I'm caring for my kids, I sure as hell don't consider it babysitting - they're my kids!
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #14
19. One of my pet peeves too- it's called parenting, not babysitting
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SharonRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 04:16 PM
Response to Original message
15. My husband prefers my hair long,
but I haven't worn it that way for years. Everytime I go to get it cut, he says "Don't get it cut too short," but I do what I want with it. It's MY hair, after all. He just has to deal with it.
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Sanity Claws Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
16. Is your sister's friend named "Rapunzel?"
If so, maybe her husband just remembers how he rescued her and wants to make sure she always has that escape route.

However, if her name is not Rapunzel, she should cut her hair to suit herself. Then you should make sure you're around for her in case the big bad wolf wants to do something to her.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 04:51 PM
Response to Original message
17. Why even bother asking?
You go chop your hair off, what's he going to do about it after the fact?
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last_texas_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
18. Some people have really backwards ideas about hair
I know with some it's the whole fundy religion thing, 'cause of some Scripture that says men should have short hair and women long hair. (How they explain Jesus I'm not entirely sure; though I once read an article someone had linked to on here where a preacher was claiming that Jesus didn't really have long hair!) I work with a woman who was commenting on my longish hair and saying that she always "wondered" about any guy with long hair, since "men have short hair, women have long hair." (She should've seen me when it was two inches past my shoulders!)

But yeah, that's sad that that woman is basing how she gets or doesn't get her hair cut on what her husband lets her do. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Decisions relating to your own appearance should be your own make. I don't think there's a problem with someone telling their significant other how they find their hair the most attractive, but a line has to be drawn between suggesting something and controlling someone's behavior.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
20. Why ask? Just go do whatever you want.
Yes, there are men that think they are in possession of "their" women. Hey, you are not anyone's property. Just go do what you want, so long as no one gets hurt (don't rip wings off flies, etc). Don't ask, just do it. People can express opinions about what they think looks good, but don't have control.
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 06:14 PM
Response to Original message
22. Miz t. and I have NEVER "let" each other do anything.
"Do you let him...blah-blah-blah?"
"Does he let you...etc.?"

Jeezus Keerist!
We're both grown up human beings.
Nobody "lets" anybody do anything.

We may disagree about an idea or a course of action.
We talk about it.
If one of us has really strong feelings about whatever it is things usually wind up with "OK, honey. If you feel THAT strongly about it, go ahead."
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Samurai_Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
23. Same thing happened to me when I was married!
I married at 18. I had long hair past my waist (I could sit on it). He told me if I ever cut it, he'd divorce me. The day after *I* left *him*, I went and got it all chopped off, up to my neck.

His trying to control me was the reason I left him.
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all.of.me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 07:39 PM
Response to Original message
24. i used to have very long hair
and i wanted to cut it short. i had a boyfriend who said he'd PAY ME to NOT cut it! can you believe that?! i chopped it off. fucker.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
25. It must get tiring living TWO lives.
I don't have the energy for that. It would be nice if I were asked my opinion, but it's not my hair. Of course for me this is an academic exercise.
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Lady President Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 08:10 PM
Response to Original message
26. It would never occur to me to ask
I would never think to ask a boyfriend how I should do my hair. I would just go the hairdresser and do whatever I felt like.

I simply can't imagine having another person involve themself in every nuance of my life. I'm so much better off being single...
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 08:14 PM
Response to Original message
27. My wife cut her hair short, so I grew a beard.
We called it "the balance of hair".

We also cut each other's hair now. Isn't that romantic?
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prole_for_peace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 08:14 PM
Response to Original message
28. my boyfriend tells me to cut my hair.
i always bitch about how hot is gets at the neck and he is all like "cut it all off" i had a pixie a few years ago and he loved it.

if some guy told me not to cut my hair, i would shave that shit off.
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