I had four hours of sleep last night, and six Vicodin today;

[Redstone]

Don't ask me anything.

Redstone

[Left Is Write]

1. I was prescribed Vicodin today, but I didn't take any.

I won't ask you anything; I'll just tell you I hope you're feeling better sooner rather than later.

:hug:

[Redstone]

11. Thank you, Mrs Bright Eyes, things are improving

even as we speak (or more correctly, even as I type).

But you know what I mean. Thanks for the good thoughts.

Redstone

[fishnfla]

2. how many fingers am I holding up

its more than one, I like you

[Redstone]

8. How many fingers? Eleventeen.

So there. I can handle this stuff, see?

Redstone

[Bunny]

3. Wow. Hope you feel better soon.

:hug:

[yvr girl]

4. And you can still type?

:wow:

Feel better.

[Redstone]

7. Of course I can still type; this stuff doesn't

make a dent in me, as you well know. And I'm not even cheating by typing "wkneiandn, ounfnd; naseinenww!" and going back to correct it afterward.

Welcome back, kiddo!

Redstone

[yvr girl]

10. I take one muscle relaxant

and I pass out.

Are you referring to my stoned posting?

I'm only back for the day. I didn't want you all to forget me.

[Redstone]

12. Your stoned posting? I don't really remember it...

maybe I was stoned that night. No, wait, I think I do remember it, but was not referring to it above.

Forget you? How could we do that, my old friend, ah, um...what was your name again?

Redstone

[democrat in Tallahassee]

5. Rush, is that you? Call home, Darren

[complain jane]

6. LOL

[havocmom]

9. Redstone: for you, a link from LBN

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x1534037

[Redstone]

13. Thanks, havocmom. Those Canadians know their priorities,

don't they?

How are things going for you out there in the back of beyond these days?

Redstone

[redacted]

14. I got MS Contin (Morphine Sulfate) and Vicodin on board.

And I still hurt.

But the Morphine helps me sleep. If you are not sleeping you should ask your doctor for something else.

[redacted]

15. Oh and watch out, Vicodin contains tylenol. More than 4g hurts your liver.

Your bottle will tell you how much Tylenol is in a dose. There are different amounts, depending on what you were prescribed.

[Redstone]

16. Actually, it'snot vicodin per se. It's the one that's

10 mg hydrocodone and only 100 mg acetaminophen; I like to be able to have a drink now and again without immediately turning yellow.

I thought it was 2 grams a day that was the limit; good thing I've been erring on the side of caution.

Redstone

[redacted]

19. I googled it -- it was 4g, but who knows.

I know that when I was in the hospital the nurses were very concerned abt it and would give me Dilaudid to give my liver a rest.

Now Dilaudid -- that's a fun drug.

But I agree when I am in real pain, the Vicodin does nothing for me -- except dull the pain. I wish I could get a high off of it.

Mine is 500mg tylenol -- 5MG Hydrocone -- so I gotta be careful.

[Redstone]

22. Dulling the pain is my goal; getting stoned is counterproductive

for me. Though I wouldn't mind it if it happened once in a while, just to have a change of pace from this incessant reality.

4 grams a day, really? I don't think I'd want to take that chance; imagine not being able to have a beer...not a fun way to live life.

Redstone

[redacted]

24. Yeah. I can't drink like for months and months and it sucks.

Not cuz I so love to drink, but sometimes a little break from reality (esp this reality with all the pain) would be nice. Even just to relax (something I do not do well.)

I had (have) pancreatitis caused by a prescription drug. I will get over it -- it will take time.

I am especially whiny today so I'm going to shut up now.

Does the Vicodin make you forget words -- I have the vocabulary of a second grader on it. The words --windshield wiper fluid - were a big challenge the other day. Told my husband I filled up the blue stuff that. . .that . . .then I made hand motions like wipers. (He is very patient. He got it eventually.)

(Wait, obviously not have this issue if you used the word mete correctly. Not sure I can use the word meat correctly).

I am going officially shut up now. (and maybe take a nap)

[Redstone]

25. That was a VERY funny post, redacted...

you may lose some words, but you don't lose your sense of humor and ability to give others a laugh.

You should be proud of yourself. Thanks for the chuckles, and enjoy your nap. You deserve it.

Feel better.

Redstone

[truthbetold]

17. Good GOD, I love Vicodin.

Amazing stuff, really.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. OK, my dear Redstone, NO questions for you!

I know you were wired last night; you were still posting when I gave up and went to bed! And you're 3 hours ahead of me...ouch...

I am GLAD that you're feeling better as you type; may it ever be thus!

:pals:

:hug:

[Redstone]

20. Well, I did learn one important lesson yesterday...

Driving a car with a sport-tuned suspension and high-performance, low-profile tires through the wretched stretch of I-95 through southwestern Connecticut, New York City, and northern New Jersey, not to mention that dreadful Pennsylvania Turnpike, is not hardly worth the punishment it metes out to your body.

Not even a cheesesteak hoagie is worth that.

Next time, I take Mrs R's car to make that trip.

Redstone

(Hey, I must not be too whacked out; when was the last time you heard anyone, even someone who has had adequate sleep and no opioid medication, use a version of the phrase "mete out punishment" in a sentence, and furthermore spell "mete" correctly?)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

21. That's pretty good! I might have trouble with the word "mete" although

I recognize it and know what it means! I suspect that your whacked out self is improving, and your basic super-intelligence is shining through!
It's no wonder to me that your 9-year old son is so smart; he's gotten it from you...and Mrs. R of course.

:loveya:

[LynzM]

23. Ok, no questions then.

I agree about 95 between CT and NJ.... yuck.

I hope you get better sleep tonight! :hug:

[Redstone]

27. Here comes Sir Ambien on his white horse,

prepared to save the day (actually, night).

I'm gone soon.

Redstone

[LynzM]

28. Wheeeeeeeee!

Have you ever seen the dancing squirrels at threebrain? Fun stuff.

I hope the Ambien takes care of you! :)

[Redstone]

29. Oh, please, not the dancing rodents now, while I'm

in a weak frame of mind! Now I'm going to see them doing the Watusi in my dreams!

Or do you suppose it will be the Frug?

Redstone

[LynzM]

30. The Watusi, eh?

And the Frug? :shrug:

Either way, sweet dreams of squirrels to you :)

[Redstone]

32. Yes, I'm old. Go ahead and say it.

I won't be offended.

Redstone

[leftofthedial]

26. you trying to make us jealous?

[Redstone]

33. No, I'm not. You could have some too if you were here.

I don't mind sharing. Except the lack of sleep part. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Redstone

[leftofthedial]

36. I feel for you

until last night, I was on a two-week stretch of no more than three hours a night.

I was hallucinating the last few days, I swear.

I hope you get all better fast.

[BikeWriter]

31. Brother mine, be careful. There are people who love you.

[Redstone]

35. I appreciate your concern, hoss, you know that, but not

to worry. This isn't a self-destructive spiral, or anything approaching it. I'm in real good spirits, and just dealing with the physical ramifications of driving a long distance two days in a row. It's nothing I haven't dealt with before, and will have to deal with it again the next time. Just life as it is.

And I really don't mind. It's just the way things are, and as you'v e seen me say before, it's not much compared with what other people have to live with.

But again, I'm touched by your concern. How's your own situation going? Anything I can do to help you along?

Redstone

[BikeWriter]

37. Okay, Brother, as long as you're in control...

I went to VA group therapy today and it was the same old shit. I know I should have, could have, would have raised my Sons and Step-Children in my own home, but it didn't happen that way. I love them more than anyone else ever could and I feel guilty as hell! Why did we have to get so fucked up?

[Redstone]

42. Hey, I was going to go to bed but wanted to wait to see

if there was a reply from you...

Listen to me, hoss, because I'll tell you the truth even when nobody else will, and won't cover it with any coats of varnish:

Shoulda, coulda, woulda, won't never win you any prizes down at the county fair. Not that I'm accusing you of whining, because I know for sure that isn't the case. What you have to understand is that we all make decisions, or sometimes have decisions made for us that we can't change, and we regret them later.

We can regret them, but we can't let them eat us up. We can apologize for them, but we also have the right to expect that people will accept our apology and move on to the next thing. And we never need apologize to anyone more than once.

Can you say to your kids / stepkids, "I know I didn't do the best for you, but I did the best that I could?"

I'm guessing that you can indeed say that. And NOBODY, not even your own children, can expect you to be able to do anything better than the best you could.

As long as you did the best you could, and I bet you did, there's no need for guilt. I got a hundred bucks that says your kids would say the same thing to you if you had the conversation with them. Have you said those words to them?

You did the best you could, and that's all anyone can expect from anyone. If you never listen to anything else I ever tell you, you have to understand that one statement.

I have to go to bed now, because the sleeping pill is kicking in. But one last thing, my friend: We got so fucked up, as you say, because there was evil afoot in the land back in those days, and it drew us into its madness, used us up, and spit us out. And WE, not the ones who created the madness, are the ones who have to live with the damage done.

We can't change that. It's done and done. The ONE thing we can do is to realize that the fact that other people caused bad things to happen to us, does NOT make us bad people.

Take that thought to sleep with you tonight, and sleep well.

Send me a PM, if you would, to let me know that you read this; if I don't get one, I'll PM you with a copy in the morning in the hope it can make your day a bit easier.

Hang in there,

Redstone

[BikeWriter]

44. Brother. I helped raise some good young'ns...

despite all the problems we had. I have one Step Son who says I taught him how to be a loving Dad to his own Step-Children. My guilt is my Children's home wasn't more stable. For that I still live in regret.

[Redstone]

45. BW, copy the text from my last post, and read it

every day. I'ts the truth. You can have regrets; we all do, but you don't need to be carrying any guilt. You really don't.

Repeat to yourself that the best you can do is all you can do.

Keep working with the VA shrinks, OK? They know their business and are there to help you...they'd not have chosen that career if they didn't want to help.

And don't be shy about giving me a shout via PM whenever. I carry a lot of physical damage from back then, but luckily not as much of the psychological end--I'll be there if you need me.

Redstone

[BikeWriter]

46. Thanks, Redstone. I finally felt up to looking at this thread...

I know you are right. That damned group therapy always makes me think too much.

[Redstone]

47. I tried the group thing once, and didn't care for it,

though if it works for you, do it. But remember these words from last night:
-----------------------------------------------
We got so fucked up, as you say, because there was evil afoot in the land back in those days, and it drew us into its madness, used us up, and spit us out. And WE, not the ones who created the madness, are the ones who have to live with the damage done.

We can't change that. It's done and done. The ONE thing we can do is to realize that the fact that other people caused bad things to happen to us, does NOT make us bad people.
---------------------------------------------

Always remember that we're the good guys.

Redstone

[BikeWriter]

48. Thanks, Pard. I appreciate your words of sanity.

[JimmyJazz]

34. 3 cigarettes, 2 Bass Ales....

and a Philly cheesesteak hoagie.

Sorry. I deserve to be punished for this post. :o

[BikeWriter]

39. Hang in there, Doll. We love you.

[JimmyJazz]

40. Whewf. It's a good thing someone does! I love you back.

:hug:

[BikeWriter]

41. You're a honey bun and a light at the end of the tunnel, Sweety...

Your kind and uplifting words mean so much to so many. Please never stop being you. :hug:

[libodem]

38. okay I'll fess up

I've had alot of serious chronic pain issues for about 3 years. I had a disc removed in my lower back and had my neck fused with a plate four screws and some pins last December. I've been on and off Vicodin for about that amount of time. I can't take most narcotics. They make me itch or give me the whirlies and make me puke. But Vicodin wakes me up, makes me feel alert, and enables me to work. I can not take it and go to sleep, though. My son had his wisdom teeth out a few years ago, and the same thing happened with him. The poor guy was miserable. He called me at work to say he hadn't slept all night, got a migraine and was throwing up. Some people say oh, if I take one I'm knocked out for six hours. It just doesn't affect everyone the same way.

[Redstone]

43. I'm not sure that the case is that it really wires you up,

maybe it's just that the relief of the pain gets you back to where you were, mentally, before you had the health problems.

And if it does that for you (as it does for me), you should be able to take it whenever you need it.

Redstone

[put out]

49. Dang, friend.

That pain thing, that should be treated the best way you can find. I read all the posts, and I know you have other concerns.

Tolerance to a medication is not the same thing as addiction, nor dependence.

Pain makes the world too small. You should get out of pain if you can. I hope you can.

Heartfelt hopes,

put out