Time to post you favorite Chappelle Show's quotes!

[petron]

Missing Dave already. Wishing the best for Dave Chappelle, I hope this isn't serious.
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-chappelle14may14,0,2559386.story?coll=la-home-business

A few of my fav quotes:

"Correction, I did have sex with Katie"

"Yea, but is this the five o'clock free crack give away?"

"I'm reeeeaccch, beeeaaaatch!"

Anyone else?

[short bus president]

1. "I beat my d*ck like it owes me money!"

In fact, the entire STD Muppets bit was pure gold.

"I said 'Fuck it.'" ;-)

[petron]

4. I love that skit too

Who'd have thought to create STD Muppets?! Fuckin hilarious!

I love the gonorrhea and the herpes muppets...LOL!

[Az]

14. You need to check out Peter Jackson's earlier work

He did a movie called Meet the Feebles. STD muppets are the least of the offenses in this thing.

[Donailin]

2. To quote:

"That nigga tried to kill my faaaather!"

"We can't trust random niggas, we don't know what he has"

-Black Bush and Black Tony Blair

[sasquatch]

3. "I'm Rick James bitch!"

"HI KIDS!! Let me tell you how drugs have ruined my life"

[xultar]

5. 1, 2, 3, 4, ffiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffff! n/t

[petron]

6. Just thought of another one

BUSH: "So I hear you have a 16 inch penis?"
DAVE: "It's actually 18 inches, but who's counting?"

:rofl:

[elehhhhna]

7. "and YOU have to get the F*ck outta here!"

from the Pretty Woman sketch.

[Midnight Rambler]

8. mmm, mmm, bitch!

from the Samuel Jackson beer commercial

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

9. "And why did you get diverced?"

Cause she's a n****r lover!

When he played the blind racist.

[henslee]

10. "Nick Cannon's so funny ,dad"/ "Nick Cannon? Fuck Nick Cannon"

or whatever (just a paraphrase but you know the skit.)

[ghostsofgiants]

11. On-screen during racial draft: "Condoleeza Rice - Given away by blacks."

Brilliant.

[blue neen]

12. "Why do white people like Wayne Brady so much?"

"Because Wayne Brady makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X!"

[Blue-Jay]

24. Don't make Wayne Brady choke a bitch!

[tedoll78]

13. Hmm..

Hard to convey a musical tone here. I'll try it by syllables: "Doo d-doo, doo d-doo, doo duh-doo.." (repeat over & over again)

Damn. If only I could remember the skit..

And then my other favorite is, "and that, kids, is the first time I sucked d*ck for crack!"

[Kathryn STone]

15. The Playa Haters are my faves...

Buc Nasty on Osama--"Man, that muthafucka pumped my gas on the way over here!"
Silky--"Its time for me to go home and put some water in Buc Nasty mama's dish."
Mr. Roboto (least understood Hater)--"He look like a broke-ass piece of sexual chocolate!"----"You bitches better recognize!"
Too many classics to name--let's all send out some white light to Dave in his hour of crisis--we're all with you, friend.

[Beware the Beast Man]

25. This is so wrong, but in regards to Rosie O'Donnell.

"She must wear underwear with dick holes in 'em."

[Radical Activist]

16. "They held the first ever shit-in"

[Radical Activist]

17. Have you ever given yourself a stranger?

WHAT?
A stranger.
WHA...um yeah, yeah man I've done that.

[Bombtrack]

18. I'm an original thought free annoying bandwagon kid biitttcccchhh

[sonicx]

19. "Let me tell you something about me, Joe Rogan, that you might not know.."

"I smoke rocks."

"Niggers, Jews, Homosexuals, Mexicans, Arabs, and all kinds of different chinks STINK!"

[salin]

20. There were two in Indianapolis

Cowboy Bob (and chuckwagon, his dog), and Janie and Friends. Actually I think Janie's show had a different name originally, though I don't recall.

This is so cloudy in the memory - maybe one was in the morning and one was in the afternoon? Both were on the air simultaneously.

More important to slightly older kids was a character who did weekend (saturday night) spooky movies. "Sammy Terry" doesn't have a show anymore but he still has a huge following.

[BigMcLargehuge]

21. I'm from the street... G-G-G-G-G-G-unit...

Oh, the street? Get your ass in the car. G-G-G-G-Get your ass in the car!

[petron]

22. Looks like Dave is just fine

http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1061415,00.html

<snip>

The first thing Chappelle wants is to dispel rumors—that he's got a drug problem, that he's checked into a mental institution in Durban—that have been flying around the U.S. for the past week. He says he is staying with a friend, Salim Domar, and not in a mental institution, as has been widely reported in America. Chappelle says he is in South Africa to find "a quiet place" for a while. "Let me tell you the things I can do here which I can't at home: think, eat, sleep, laugh. I'm an introspective dude. I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes. And I've been doing a lot of thinking here."

The picture he paints—and it seems a fairly honest and frank assessment— is of someone struggling to come to terms with a new position and power who's still figuring out how to come to grips with how people around him are reacting to the $50 million deal he signed last year with Comedy Central. Without naming specific characters, he seems to blame both some of his inner circle (not his family) and himself for the stresses created by last year's deal.

<snip>

[Shell Beau]

23. I want to piss on you.

His song making fun of R. Kelly :rofl:

You can have Colin Powell if you agree to take Condaleeza Rice (something like that, maybe vice versa) The Racial Draft :rofl:

[Beware the Beast Man]

26. "...and Scooby Doo and all of my favorite cartoon characters

came to my room and sang songs and ate cookies with me for 16 hours GODDAMN! And we used to laugh and giggle and eat all the cookies, it was TERRIBLE...TERRIBLE!"