Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?"

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
Cannikin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:21 PM
Original message
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. THAT'S not Ann Coulter
you fucked up the joke
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Cannikin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Thats weird. I really did almost use Coulter
Edited on Thu May-12-05 03:24 PM by Cannikin
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:22 PM
Response to Original message
2. 2 nuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
dean_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:24 PM
Response to Original message
4. A skeleton walks into a bar...
says, "Bartender, get me a beer and a mop!"

I frickin' love that joke.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:31 PM
Response to Original message
5. A guy and his dog walk into a bar
The bartender says, "Hey, no dogs allowed in here!"

The guy says, "Yeah, but this is a special dog. This dog can talk."

"Sure," the bartender says, "prove it."

So the guy turns to the dog and asks him, "Rover, what do you call the covering on top of a house?"

And the dog says, "Roof!"

"Oh, that's bullshit!" the bartender says. "Get out!"

"No, wait, let me ask him something else," the guy says. "Rover, what's my wife's name?"

And the dog says, "Roof!"

"Okay, now, that's it," yells the bartender. "OUT!"

"C'mon," the guy says. "One more question. Rover, who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"

And the dog says, "Roof!"

The bartender slams his fist on the bar and yells, "OUT! And don't come back, ya fucking loony!"

So the guy heads out the door but just before they walk out the dog looks at him and says, "Gee, maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bvar22 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:35 PM
Response to Original message
6. A termite flies into a bar and asks...
"Where is the bartender?"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Pretty sure the punchline is: "Is the bar tender here?"
Edited on Thu May-12-05 03:39 PM by Richardo
;-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:36 PM
Response to Original message
7. 'Why the long face?' 'because of shrinkage'
:wow:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yellowcanine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:37 PM
Response to Original message
8. Much better looking than Coulter. I applaud your decision to use an
actual horse. We can see pictures of Ann Coulter anytime, how often do we see a beautiful horse? To imply that Ann Coulter looks like a horse is insulting to horses.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
10. Celine Dion walks into a bar, bartender says why the long face?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
UrbScotty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:42 PM
Response to Original message
11. Three guys meet in a bar with a robot bartender.
Edited on Thu May-12-05 03:44 PM by ih8thegop
The robot bartender asks each of them their IQ.

Guy #1 says his is 150. So he and the bot discuss quantum mechanics, the theory of relativity, etc.

Guy #2 gives an IQ of 100. He finds himself discussing the NBA playoffs with the bartender.

Guy #3 says his is 50. To which the robot says...




(wait for it)










(keep waiting)







(here it comes)

"Well, what is it luike to be President?"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:42 PM
Response to Original message
12. The Governor of Louisiana from 1928 to 1932 walks into a bar...
The bartender says: Why the Long face?

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Hobarticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 04:10 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. Cerebral humor...I can dig it....
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. ;-)
:thumbsup: Hobarticus
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:45 PM
Response to Original message
13. Dirty joke
Two pigs fell in the mud
Three came out.

I thought that was funny when I was a wee lad.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 03:59 PM
Response to Original message
14. The horse answers "Never mind that. I'm looking for George W Bush"
"I hear he is very intersted in milking horses"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 04:01 PM
Response to Original message
15. A 3-legged dog walks into a bar and says
"Im looking for the man who shot my paw"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Hobarticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
16. Guy walks into a bar with jumper cables...
Bartender says, "don't you be starting anything in here!"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ronnykmarshall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 04:22 PM
Response to Original message
18. Man walks into a bar in Scotland w/ an octopus......
Edited on Thu May-12-05 04:26 PM by ronnykmarshall
he tell everyone in the bar "I'll bet ye 50 pounds that this wee creature can play any musical instrument you put in front of him!"

The bartenders takes him on the bet and leads the octopus over to a piano. The octopus starts banging out "The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" on the keyboards as the whole bar cheers him on. The bartenders pays the man the 50 pounds.

Another guy walks up and hands the octopus an electric guitar. The creature starts playing a guitar riff that rivaled Jimmi Hendrix. The place goes nuts!! Again the man and his octopus are 50 pounds richer.

Finally an elderly Scottish man sets his bagpipes on a table and says "Let's see the wee beast play this?". The octopus slithers over the table and looks at the device with a puzzled look. "Well! Ain't' ye gonna play it?" "Play it?" the octopus replied "I'm trying to figure out how to fuck it!"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Lerkfish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-12-05 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
19. A gorilla walks into a bar...
shocked, the bartender watches as the gorilla sits down on the bar stool.
"er...ah...what can I get you?" the bartender asks.
the gorilla looks behind the bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender pours the beer and sets it down, and thinks to himself
"hey, its just a gorilla, what does he know?"
so he tells the gorilla "that'll be 25 dollars".
The gorilla hesitates a minute, then reaches into his fur and pulls out the money, slaps it on the table.
No one in the bar says anything out of shock.
Then, the Gorilla drinks the beer and gets up to leave.
"excuse me...uh sir. I'm just wondering...we don't get a lot of gorillas in here"
"I should say NOT, at 25 dollars a beer!"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Wed Apr 16th 2014, 02:41 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC