A gaggle of ostriches dive bombed my car yesterday

[nytemare]

Maybe it was a flock, I don't know. There sure was a whole lot of bird shit on my car, though. No other cars near mine were hit, but mine had about 25 bird turds on it. I had to clean the shit off right away, and I think the birds ate fish.

NASTY!

:puke: :puke:

[achtung_circus]

1. I'm pretty sure they weren't ostriches.

flightless, and all.

[nytemare]

2. By the sheer size of the poopies, it had to be ostriches

If the swallow in Monty Python's Holy Grail can carry a cocount, these ostriches can crap on my car.

:)

[achtung_circus]

4. Dou you live near an airport?

Under a flight path for commercial airliners? Do you see where I'm going with this? I'm not going looking for a graphic.

[nytemare]

6. Nope.

Not in a flight path. The ostriches just decided to evolve into flying at the moment my car was around them.

:)
BTW your little pig avatar is cute.

[achtung_circus]

7. Evolution!

That would explain it. Given that they're eating fish now have they also developed webbed feet?


on edit: Oink & good night

[nytemare]

9. Yes. The ostrich is not indigenous to Florida, and therefore

had to evolve or go the way of the cuckoo. Yeah!

[Jamastiene]

3. ROTFLMAO

I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at you. Maybe I can claim I am laughing with you, but you are aren't laughing obviously. Honestly, I thought shit like that only happened to me. I have a tree that shits on my car all spring and summer. I can't figure out which one it is either. I live in an area where I am surrounded on three sides by tons of trees. I don't want to cut them all down, but no matter where I park the car, I have to use a ton of windex or windshielf wiper fluid (like 2 gallons in the summer) just to see to go places. I just keep telling my stepdad (keeper of the chainsaw) "nope, it wasn't that one." I am beginning to wonder if it is a tree at all. I tend to look at it like that guy from Bruce Almighty. I DO wonder sometimes. Hope that shitstorm doesn't happen to you again, though. Sorry I laughed so hard. I need that. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has shit like that happen to me.

[nytemare]

5. It was pretty funny

Those birds meant business. The funny thing is, all the cars around were bigger than mine. I drive a Mustang, and had just washed it 2 days before.

One of my co-workers came to me and said "those birds must not like your car". So I went outside to look, and the first thing I said was "Holy Shit!" How appropriate.

[Jamastiene]

8. That's why they did it.

There are 2 rules that stick out in my mind when it comes to washing cars. It causes rain when there was none in the forecast and makes you a target for gaggles of shitting birds with incredibly great aim. Are you parking under a nest of babies? Are there babies this time of year or did you piss off a whole bunch of birds somehow? They do get revenge. I know. There were some catbirds nesting near my house a few years back. I looked at the nest while I was pruning the little bush they decided to nest in. I stopped pruning when I saw the nest and left them alone, but every time I took out the garbage, I had to walk past that bush. I got pecked in the head so much that summer that my neighbors started calling me names involving heads and getting pecked there and cracking jokes galore, if you can imagine. I just went with it and pointed out that I had a thing with communicating with the neighborhood cats. I fed them and the birds quit attacking me. It worked out nicely.

[nytemare]

10. Funny!

It was strange. I parked in the place I have parked for over 2 months at my work. Never a poo, until yesterday.

I think the birds were taking off and had to unload a lot of weight at that instant or something.

[Jamastiene]

11. Or they could have had

that last flu bug that was going around. I hardly ever get any of the flu bugs or colds or whatever, but I called that last one the "squirty flu", because it was like having a stomach virus and the flu at the same time. It caused some people to get skid marks when they normally don't get them, if you catch my drift. Don't run, I don't have it any more. :P

[nytemare]

12. See, now I can blame * that the ostriches didn't get flu shots!

:)

[Jamastiene]

29. If you EVER need help finding a way to blame

Bush for anything, don't hesitate to ask. I am a sort of master at finding creative but TRUE ways to blame him and his sheep. It's his fault I have had such a bad headache for the past week straight. Wanna know why it's his fault? You'll love this one. Just ask me.

[GOPisEvil]

13. If you got bombed by ostriches, don't wash your car!

It's famous!

:D

[nytemare]

14. LOL, too late

I cleaned off the poopie only to get a bunch of tree sperm on it.

[GOPisEvil]

15. Ewwwwww...tree sperm!

:scared:

[nytemare]

16. Just pollen, but it is hard to get off your car. I call it tree sperm

[GOPisEvil]

17. Oh, I hate that! We get that stuff here, too.

I'm happy I have a garage.

[nytemare]

19. I need a garage

The pollen gets me worse at work. As did the ostriches.

[GOPisEvil]

21. At work, no garage. It can be bird poop and pollen city.

Oh well...something is better than nothing, I guess.

[nytemare]

22. Yes! We are lucky despite bird turds and tree sperm!

That we are!

[GOPisEvil]

23. I've never felt so lucky.

LOL! :D

[nytemare]

24. Hey, finding blessings in shit is the key to happiness!

That is something like what Viktor Frankl said.

:)

[GOPisEvil]

25. I think I read something like that in the Dalai Lama's book!

:D

[Jamastiene]

28. I do too.

I know being "pollened" wouldn't be called bestiality, but what WOULD you call it? I know it's considered passe to quote Kurt Cobain, but I gotta hand it to him. "Nature is a whore. We can have some more." was so true, especially when it comes to trees and insects. I want to write a book about it one day. It'd be a research type deal maybe on CDROM or DVD with videos to prove the point. I'd disprove some things about this puritanical mentality modern society has about sex. I know. Call it Mother Nature's Brothel. Okay, I'm pushing it there, but it technically is tree "sperm", isn't it? Any arborologists here?

[Kat45]

18. If they were eating fish, they may have been seagulls.

Those guys have huge turds.

[nytemare]

20. I know it smelled fishy when I was cleaning it, YUCK!

I washed my hands about 10 times and used the sanitizer stuff.

[Kat45]

26. I don't blame you.

Too bad you didn't have some of those rubber surgical gloves.

[nytemare]

27. I thought about that 5 minutes into poopy cleaning

At that point I figured I was already poopifected.