so what's a guy gotta do to have congress pass a bill for him?

[fryguy]

following the republicans stepping in for the schiavo family, i'm thinking i could use the help of a congressional bill for a thing or two.

first off, my next door neighbor keeps knocking the lids off the trash cans and leaving debris on the ground around the front walk.

second, the lights on my way to work aren't well timed and its getting more and more frustrating to go a block only to hit a red.

and finally, regardless of how many times i've asked them not to, the deli always puts too much mayo on my sandwich.

so if congress has nothing better to do than to be meddling in the affairs of individuals now, i'm formally asking that they take up any, or all, of these pressing issues in my life in an emergency sessions. i'm sure old'georgie boy won't mind coming back from vacation again a bit early to sign the bill that i'm sure will rocket from house to senate to the oval office.

thanks in advance y'all!