I married the biggest lame-o

[Ellen Forradalom]

So I'm hoping to have a nice evening watching a movie with my husband. Shortly into it he falls asleep. I shove him awake and tell him to get some coffee or go to bed. "It was boring," he said. "'Scuse me for not renting a blow-'em-up-good movie! You once had the intellect and patience to get a philosophy degree from a fancy school back in the East but you can't stay awake during a movie? WTF??" I don't get it!

[WindRavenX]

1. men are weird

Sorry.

[ewagner]

4. Yes....

and proudly so...........

[coloradodem2005]

2. Boy. I'm feelin' the love.

Sorry. Sarcasm seems to be very prevalent with me these days.

[Ellen Forradalom]

6. Oh yeah.

We love each other, like Kurt and Courtney loved each other, like Sid and Nancy loved each other...
"Honey, 50% of those couples are dead."
"75%, dear."
"Oh, you're right."

If anything, it's sarcasm that saves the relationship.

[CanuckAmok]

15. You should find a movie you'll both enjoy.... here's some suggetions:

Like the new version of "My Diner with Andre", which is set in a revolving restaurant boobytrapped to explode if the restaurant spins any slower than twice per hour. I think it's called "My Diner with Bombdre".

Or the remake of "Waiting for Godot", where Godot is late because he has to disarm an international team of terrorists who have taken over an LA highrise. "Waiting for GoDiehard".

Or the "Terms of Endearment" director's cut, with the killing spree ending.

Or that Merchant/Ivory movie about the Anglican minister who is sent to a far-off planet's mining colony to bring religion to the native insctoid inhabitants, and falls for the daughter of the colony's governor. "Angels and Starship Troopers".

Or that Dustin Hoffman movie about the autistic crossdressing gay bankrobber at Harvard, pushed too far by local thugs: "Rain Mansie's Straw Dog Day Graduation".

[Ellen Forradalom]

21. haha

They all sound like next year's oscar contenders.

[PinkTiger]

3. Actually, no, my husband did.

Marry a Lame-O, that is.

Ha.

Or so he says.

My husband is just like yours. Can't stay awake for a movie.

Must be in the chromosomes.

[Ellen Forradalom]

9. Yeah, my husband read philosophy in school

and got a master's in architecture but can't stay awake for a movie? It's totally baffling.

[huellewig]

80. If I spoon while watching a movie I can't stay awake.

Cuddling makes me sleepy. It doesn't really matter what is going on around me. I still pass out.

[lastknowngood]

5. What's the movie That might explain it.

n/t

[Ellen Forradalom]

7. Kadosh, by Amos Gitai

There's, like, character development and universal themes and all that boring shit. No explosions. That must be the problem.

[MikeG]

12. I've never heard of it. You may be asking a lot.

Maybe a middle step, like Fellini or Charlie Chaplin?

[Ellen Forradalom]

20. We watched all kinds of movies in the early days

Hal Hartley, Jim Jarmusch, arty stuff.

[bilgewaterbill]

19. My wife solved this problem years ago.

She tells me if there's no sex in the movie there will be afterward. I've stayed awake through some terrible movies. I've also been surprised by how good a few were.

[Ellen Forradalom]

28. Smart lady, she is.

I don't think that'd work in my case.

[bilgewaterbill]

32. Then, my dear, he IS a lame-o.

His loss. Maybe you ought to try it first.

[Ellen Forradalom]

39. I suppose I could

but I know my spouse and I doubt it would move him.

[bilgewaterbill]

44. Sounds more like YOU lack confidence.

This trick always works- She tells me she's not wearing underwear when she's putting the DVD in. "When the movie's over" is all she says after that. Have some confidence. He married YOU.

[Ellen Forradalom]

46. TMI

Thanks for the tip though :7

[FuzzySlippers]

74. Oh I saw that.

About ultra-Orthodox Jews in Jerusalem? It was good, but I could see why it would be like Ambien to a guy.

[bilgewaterbill]

8. Yeah. I gots ta know too. nt

[OldLeftieLawyer]

10. Give the guy a break

I remember how my then-husband got on my ass about being a "lame-o," or its 1970s equivalent, every Friday night during my first year of law school. A male friend of mine, who was in a Ph.D. program at the same time, whose wife made the same complaints about him, said to me, "We're not gonna be married to these people in a couple of years."

We were just so tired, and our spouses - now our ex-spouses - never could understand that.

Maybe your husband's just tired. And, what's wrong with people having different tastes in movies? Wouldn't it be boring if you both liked the same things?

[Ellen Forradalom]

17. There's some backstory here

That is best told to a marriage counsellor. Suffice it to say that we have a hard time connecting.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

67. I'm sorry to hear that

You presented it quite differently.

I wish you both luck.

[Ellen Forradalom]

75. We actually had a nice little talk

He is quite withdrawn a lot of the time, which is very frustrating for me, being sociable.

He did point out that we had a big dinner (I made a Hungarian goulash) and two glasses of wine before the movie, and that he thought it was boring. I guess I can't hold that against him.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

78. Interesting

He was acting in a normal, reasonable manner, and you got pissed at him.

I'd say there are a bunch of other issues at work there.

Good luck.

[Ellen Forradalom]

87. thanks mr. know-it-all

If it happened once, or twice, or thrice, it wouldn't be much of a problem. But it sure gets old after ten years, when there is no food or wine or fatigue involved.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

88. Huh?

I'm not the one bitching about her marriage on a message board.

I'm also not a "Mr."

Right now, I'm feeling bad for both you and your husband. You sound unhappy and he sounds tired. I hope you can get counselling and work this out.

Once again, I wish you luck. Your posts make me cherish even more my own husband.

[Wapsie B]

11. Sounds like he needs a sleep evaluation.

[Ellen Forradalom]

27. Or just some sleep.

The bed's real good for that. Not so much the couch.

[Wapsie B]

30. If he's tired like this a lot,

I'd get it checked out.

[forgethell]

64. I've got to agree.

I used to fall asleeep all the time on the couch. Finally I found a doctor that listened to what I said. Now I take thyroid medicine and B-12 shots and have lots more energy. I still fall sleep sometimes, but that's because I only get 5-6 hours sleep at night during the week.

[VegasWolf]

31. That's how my wife is. She can fall asleep on the couch but

has a hard time falling asleep in bed.

[Technowitch]

13. Haul out that Fishwife picture, Ellen

...and tell him, "Just think dear, you could've married HER! I'm sure SHE would love action movies!"

;)

[Ellen Forradalom]

16. What are you talking about? He DID marry her!

He's been verbally eviscerated like a herring on many occasions.

[ProudToBeLiberal]

14. Schindler List has character developement and action packed.

good compromise you know.

[PittPoliSci]

18. i can't blame him...

i've done the same thing. a movie has exactly 30 minutes to win me over, if it fails, i snooze. it's not your fault.

[Ellen Forradalom]

24. Get out the timer

"BING*!

[PittPoliSci]

29. you can set your watch to it

:-) i'm not married yet either though, so it will probably only get worse. my dad can't stay awake longer than 5 minutes, even if he is interested.

[kiraboo]

22. I dated lame-o's like him. I married a real man...

...a physics professor who doesn't watch sports and when I send him out to get a movie, brings home foreign and offbeat films. All that and he looks like a blonde Gabriel Byrne. Life is gooooood!

[Ellen Forradalom]

25. Not too shabby!

I almost married a filmmaker, the kind of obsessive film buff who has a fit if you talk during the credits.

[kiraboo]

33. I dated an architect who waxed poetic about John Hejduk and

Frank Lloyd Wright over breakfast, lunch and dinner. We'd be having cornflakes and he's say something like, "Did you know le Corbusier only ever ate bran in the morning?" There's cultured, and then there's too damn much culture!

[Ellen Forradalom]

42. Oooog, thank god I didn't marry that kind of architect

He may be lame but at least he's got his feet on the ground.

BTW we named our dog, Corbu, after Le Corbusier.

[kiraboo]

47. LOL, no offense to your husband of course! Cute dog! n/t

[Ellen Forradalom]

50. Why thank you.

And of course no offense taken. As much as I love culture, I steer clear of the obsessives nowadays.

[da_chimperor]

23. Sometimes men just can't sit though slow-paced movies.

Heck, I fell asleep watching band of brothers not even an hour ago, right during a huge action sequence. See what I mean?

[Ellen Forradalom]

26. You need some ZombyCoffee before firing up the VCR.

eom

[Zomby Woof]

38. After drinking that

You could write, direct, and star in your damn movie. :D :donut:

[Ellen Forradalom]

43. Then it would turn up mysteriously

on every p0rn site on the Internet.

[VegasWolf]

34. Character development? Is that before or after the sex scenes? n/t

[Ellen Forradalom]

51. Before

After is the denouement.

[VegasWolf]

53. Snicker! n/t

[short bus president]

35. I got a philosophy degree from a fancy school back East

well, west of here, but east of the Mississippi anyway. You'd be hard pressed to keep me interested in most movies. Except Animal House. I can always watch Animal House.

[Ellen Forradalom]

37. So that's what a philosophy degree is good for

I was wondering.

[short bus president]

40. Yeah, if you can afford

Charmin, it's definitely better than a Philosophy degree. ;-)

[Ellen Forradalom]

45. You could wrap fish with it, too

says The Fishwife.

[VegasWolf]

57. That's what Jean-Paul Sartre thinks too. n/t

[Ellen Forradalom]

58. Oh! That reminds me--

In my husband's personal ad he said his favorite philospher was Sartre. After we'd been seeing each other for a while he 'fessed up and said his favorite was actually Wittgenstein. The lying SCUM! :crazy:

[VegasWolf]

59. There is nobody better than Sartre. I like Nietze though. n/t

[Ellen Forradalom]

66. Nietzsche is pietzsche.

n/t

[Stephanie]

70. You met him from a personal ad?

Fascinating thread.

Is that how you met him? I already like him, BTW. Let him sleep. But start renting sexier movies. See if he stays awake.

[Ellen Forradalom]

71. Yep,

we were very early adopters of Match.com, ten years ago.

We were living around the corner from each other at the time, too. When we told people this, they'd say, "Uh, you guys need to get out more!"

He's a good guy, actually, but his get-up-and-go just got up and went.

[Maddy McCall]

36. Awwww. I'm sorry.

Maybe if you sit your rolling pin on the coffee table before you put the movie in, he'll stay awake. :7

[Ellen Forradalom]

48. Maybe I'll just taser him from time to time

Tasering seems to be all the rage.

[Maddy McCall]

61. LOL!

[khashka]

41. Men - you either love 'em or hate 'em

They fall asleep during movies, they fall asleep after sex, they snore. They have a general tendency to not smell very nice. They won't change the light bulbs or mow the lawn or take out the trash. They make life miserable.

But still and all, life's a little bit nicer with 'em than without 'em...

Khash.

[Ellen Forradalom]

49. Men, can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em

What are you gonna do? :shrug:

[khashka]

52. I tried killin' 'em

but it's such a hassle. Cops and prosecutors and DAs. It just ain't worth it. And with out 'em the sex just ain't the same.

It's a conundrum, a puzzlement.

Khash.

[Ellen Forradalom]

54. Try tasering.

Everyone's doing it.

[khashka]

60. That was really bad advice

because I'll probably actually try it :)

Khash.

[Redstone]

55. You didn't marry the biggest lame-o,

my wife did.

I don't dance. A lot of guys say that just to sound macho, but I really do not dance. Ever. Period.

(Well, one slow one at our wedding, but that was it.)

Redstone

[Ellen Forradalom]

56. No, she didn't marry the biggest lame-o.

Laura Bush did, now that I think of it.

[Kat45]

72. You sound like most of the guys I've gone out with

Don't. Dance. Ever. Period.

[aQuArius]

62. Send him to bed and play on DU!

Souns like he needs the sleep, you can have fun with us now!

[forgethell]

63. Sorry, I'm

on your husband's side here. We men get tired, and that's all there is to it. Also, women do like to watch truly god-awful movies.

:+

[Ellen Forradalom]

69. Yeah, those god-awful movies

with plots, subplots, character development, and all that dull shit. Meanwhile, what you want is:

[forgethell]

73. Naah, you're wrong.

I like plots, sub-plots, even, gasp, character development. I'm just not interested in people's petty personal problems, their sexual neuroses, etc. If I want those, I'll read a book.

[Ellen Forradalom]

76. Of course it never hurts if a movie has a little bit of

[forgethell]

77. Yes,

much more character development than your previous suggestion, in that it actually has one.

:)

Still, I'll give it to you straight. Given the investment of time, my general energy level at the time I generally view movies, etc, I have a simple system of cinema criticism. A good movie has a good guy, a bad guy, and a girl. At the end of the movie, the good guy has the girl, and the bad guy is dead.

The more it deviates from this ideal template, the less likely I am to like it. It helps, of course to have a real plot. Sub-plots are optional. I would prefer my characters not to be cartoons, but, as I said, I'm not interested in their politics, neuroses, what they ate for supper last night, and what it's doing to their intestinal tract, or the fact they can't get a girl, or even that they don't like girls. I watch movies for sheer escapism only. I want to feel good at the end of a movie, not depressed. Literary merit I get from books.

PS You forgot the scantily-clad babe. Really, much more important that the bombs and guns.

:P

[NightTrain]

65. Can I interest you in an extramarital affair?

Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask! :evilgrin:

[Ellen Forradalom]

68. Don't tempt me

Or everyone in the Lounge will be gossiping about us and Skinner will have to lock all the threads.

[Bouncy Ball]

79. Sigh.

I hear ya. Know what I did? Learned to love the bang 'em up flicks. As a compromise now he'll watch some non bang 'em up flicks with me.

[datasuspect]

81. maybe age is setting in?

i dunno, i had the intellect an patience to get a philosophy degree, but lord knows i loves me some stupid entertainment.

[u2spirit]

82. "I married the biggest lame-o"

We all did

[Ellen Forradalom]

83. There is comfort in solidarity

and strength in numbers.

[seabeyond]

84. bah hahahha

you once............

my husband says that is part of courtin

lol lol

[RandomKoolzip]

85. Does he work a lot?

I know my patience with films is at an all-time low now that I work 75 hours a week.

Not that I like action/special effects movies; I hate them. But I also can't stand movies with long stretches of silence and "atmosphere" and dialogue that seems to be drawn torturously out for no reason (example: David Lynch's "Lost Highway.")

[fluffernutter]

86. are his work weeks long? how old is he?

i've known a few men (okay, my grampas) to fall asleep in their chairs on a Friday evening.

[Joe Chi Minh]

89. I love these posts!

It's really funny to read "men are weird, crazy, etc.". It's perhaps true in your eyes, but it just seems like reading Republican propaganda. You know.. kind of reverse it and you have the truth from a man's angle.

Vive la difference! I think it's one of the most marvellous things about men and women - in some ways, better than the sex. Magic.

[hickman1937]

90. Put your movie in and when he falls asleep,

pull it out and put in Jacobs Ladder. When the girl on the dance floor starts turning into a lizard, wake him up.

[Arugula Latte]

91. This is none of my business, but

I'm sort of a fatalist about relationships. If it's not working, then I say get out. Maybe you'll both find more happiness. Life's short, right?

[no name no slogan]

92. That's funny-- we're the exact opposite

My wife is usually the one who passes out on the couch during movies-- even if she LIKES it!

Of course, she works very hard during the week (as do I), so I don't hold it against her.

Live and let live I say. If that's all you have to complain about, you're still doing better than 98% of us.

Either that, or toss a cat on him. That usually works for me.

:D:

[Joe Chi Minh]

93. The Guardian has a comic strip called Meehan Streak,

produced by a Kieran Meehan, which I've always assumed is American.

In case I'm mistaken and you haven't seen it, it's often very, very dry, and has several favourite sets of characters, one of which is a group of cavemen and women.

One "cavemen" strip has two characters sitting by a fire. One says to the other, "I don't understand women".

To which the other replies, "You never will, if you clump them all together into some sort of amorphous gender-entity..... You have to try not understanding each one individually". It reminded me of this thread.

Another has a caveman building a wattle fence. His little son asks him, "Why do girls screams so much, Dad?"

He replies, "It depends on the circumstances, son. Your mother screams to punctuate our conversation".

I love that strip.

[LoZoccolo]

94. So?

Really worth fighting over?

[SarahB]

95. Men had better realize...

If they don't show you the love, you're going to find someone who will. It's a cold, hard world, but nothing is bottomless. I hope the man has enough sense to care about meeting your needs before it's too late.