What are a woman's options?

[Bertha Venation]

A friend is being sexually harassed by her boss. I don't know exactly what form the harassment is taking, but she feels she has no options for reporting it because a couple of years ago she was intimate with him.

She is blaming herself, of course. A dear young woman, she just doesn't know how precious she is. She's six short months from a longevity bonus and from being vested in the company's 401(k), but she said she doesn't think she can make it.

She feels she is not entitled to any recourse because she succumbed at one time. I don't believe that's true, but I don't know for sure.

Does she have any legal options -- even though she thinks she shouldn't be entitled to any, because at one time she gave in to the bastard?

Will check later tonight or tomorrow for questions. Pls keep kicked for the night crowd. Thanks.

[Goldmund]

1. Isn't any unwanted sexual advance illegal -- regardless of any history??

[Beaverhausen]

2. Can she document the harassment? Or does she have any witnesses

It is unfortunately very hard to prove harassment unless there is some kind of concrete proof. If she can manage to not be alone with him for the next 6 months until she is vested, then she can try to find something else.

Is there a Human Resources Department where she works? She should be able to go there and complain.

I don't think the fact that she was intimate with him 2 years ago is at all a mitigating factor in his defense however. No should still mean "No."

It happened to me and the only thing I could do was quit the job. It sucks but that was the only thing I could do.

[fit4life]

3. No means no, plain and simple.

Past intimacy does not obligate her to present or future intimacy. She's got a valid case, and she should pursue it.

[madmom]

4. she has to report it...

even if she gave in once. Hell a women can file rape charges against her husband for crying out loud. Just because she said yes once does not mean always.

[jswordy]

5. If she uses legal options, she will be sorry

That's just a fact. Going the legal route will not win her friends at work, but will get her lots of enemies. It is far better for her to begin to look for another job now.

[plcdude]

6. building

a case with witness verification from this point on is about all she can do. I think Beverhausen is probably the most realistic. Never be alone with him or tape the conversation if you are alone. O'Reilly is a classic example.

[Bertha Venation]

7. thanks for the replies

gives me something to go on

thanks, everyone

[Patiod]

8. Well someone could always host a luau for her....

Read this wild story a long time ago, don't know if it's an urban myth or a fantasy or true or what.

Someone's husband is beating her, and a bunch of guys she works with get together, don hawaiian shirts and masks, follow the husband to the bar he goes to, and park next to his car. When he comes out, they beat him up, and then explain that 1) his wife doesn't know they're doing this and 2) if they ever hear that he's so much as lifted a finger against her, the next "luau" will be much worse. And if he calls the cops he sounds like an idiot - "a bunch of guys in Hawaiian shirts beat me up for no reason"

A great fantasy (who doesn't like the vicarious thrill of the bad guy "getting it") but in reality, weren't they worried the guy would go home and shoot her or something?

But if it's the boss on the other hand....

http://www.100megsfree4.com/redfolder/luau.htm

[Misunderestimator]

9. Is there an ombudsperson at her work?

She should document as much as possible and take the complaint to that person. Of COURSE she has recourse despite any previous relationship.