TONIGHT on Paranoid Schizophrenic Eyewitness News...

[Bossy Monkey]

Six ways your neighbors are plotting against you;
eleven things you can do to protect against the government's conspiracies targeting your family;
and three things your wife told me in bed last night;
and at 11 on Just Plain Paranoid Eyewitness News:
How the family dog can kill you;
fifteen ways you can injure yourself in the bathtub;
and eighteen ways you can be killed playing golf.

Alice and I were riffing on this the other day. Feel free to join in.

[NoQuarter]

1. Why your next meal

could be your last.

[dbt]

2. Why you're not really paranoid:

It's all true.

:wow:
dbt

[KitchenWitch]

3. Ahhh you have to love February Sweeps LOL

[Bossy Monkey]

4. Sweeps? Hell, for sweeps they do the news naked n/t

[trof]

5. Pineapple...neither pine nor apple.

False advertising?
Tape at 11.