Cable News to use GIANT floor map of Michael Jacksons genitals for trial.

[Vinnie From Indy]

If one ever wanted to know what it would be like to dose an entire industry with Viagra, just
hang onto your garter belts for the Michael Jackson SEX trial is about to begin. The media will be scratching each others eyes out like ten dollar hookers fighting over a john to get the latest, exclusive shred of info on
the King of Pop's dangly bits.

I have written all three cable news networks with a series of suggestions in regard to their much
publicised, upcoming coverage of this momentous trial. My first suggestion about how to
produce the coverage was to advise the news programs to add a giant floor map of Michael's
genitals similar to the floor maps they currently use for covering the Middle East and the Iraq
War. They could have their "expert" lawyers and doctors walk around using laser pointers to
highlight significant testimony using the relief map of Michael's "bad touch" areas.

I suggested that they get together with same guys in their graphics department that designed
the screeching eagle intros to the "shock and awe" Iraqi War Reality Show to design a similar
series of relevant Michael themed flying "intro" graphics. Maybe they could design a flying,
sparkling, white glove graphic to explode on the screen every ten minutes or so as an intro to
reporting on the latest trial developments. Better yet, they could design a flying, sparkling penis
glove that could swoop across the screen at the beginning of each story segment. They could
amp up Michael's signature "hoots" and "grunts" and play those as a soundtrack to the
coverage.

I advised them not to forget about possible spin-off shows. I think the networks could produce a
reality show where the contestants think they are on the Michael Jackson trial jury but really
they are part of a reality show where all the lawyers, the judge and the foreman are actors. The
show could have plants on the jury to get the jurors to sleep with other juror's spouses (think
Temptation Island) and conspire to get other jurors voted out of the jury pool like they do on
Survivor. Each juror could be drummed off the show by Judge Lance Ito presenting the member
voted off with the Marcia Clark gavel of shame.

I closed by asking that they refrain from reporting so much on the Iraq war, Social Security and
Halliburton. Our Glorious Leader has already explained that the last time God spoke with him on
his "gut phone", he was quite clear about his positions on these issues.

[Mabus]

1. ROFLMAOWTIME

Thanks. I needed that.

[saltpoint]

2. It's a good thing John Holmes isn't on trial...

They'd have to hold the trial in the SuperDome.

[Vinnie From Indy]

5. The Networks LOVE the fact there is porn involved in this case! n/t

[hangemhigh]

3. OMFG! You win!!! eom

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. LOL!

Extraordinary!!

Bravo to you!