I'm Gerald Ford, ask me anything

[Lenape85]

[Skittles]

1. how did you land such a cool wife?

I mean, face it, you're a bit of a twit

[Lenape85]

2. Yes, sir I am a twit

And my wife is not cold, she is in my warm embrace right now

[Skittles]

8. THAT'S MADAM TO YOU, LENAPE!!!!

[Lenape85]

20. Lenape, wasn't that my original first name

You know, way back in the olden days when I was a little boy, and my last name was King.

[JohnKleeb]

3. did you know I would feel better if you lived longer than Ronnie?

At least youre a good guy.

[Lenape85]

5. Yes, but Ronald Reagan is a good guy too

I wanted to be his veep, but George Bush wouldn't let me. I still cry about it today.

[JohnKleeb]

7. Nonsense Jerry

Youre a lot better than Reagan.

[Lenape85]

9. I think I might run for President in 2008

I think the Republican Party will let a seasoned veteran run again

[JohnKleeb]

10. They're looking to run someone like Frist or Jeb.

[Lenape85]

14. What, listen, I'm an elder statesman in the Republican party

[JohnKleeb]

21. No youre not, they odnt like you

something about you being too liberal.

[Lenape85]

23. Hey, listen Mr., I will be president again in 2008

Or I will send you to Suharto's Indonesia, where I gave him the green light to torture his citizens

[JohnKleeb]

24. good luck with that, just know that the GOP doesnt like you

[Lenape85]

26. They still do, in fact, I contributed to John Kerry's campaign

[JohnKleeb]

30. did you?

[Lenape85]

33. yes I did

He was the Republican candidate, right?

[JohnKleeb]

35. no you guys have a strict no Irish policy

He was the democrat.

[Lenape85]

50. Gee, now you tell me?????????????????

[Syrinx]

4. why did you fall down so much?

Were you drunk?

[Lenape85]

6. How should I know

[jellybelly]

11. I loved you on The Simpsons...

Do you think the elder Bush took time away from you in the episode?

[Lenape85]

12. Yes he did, but I respect Groening's decision

[Paul Hood]

13. Were the people of Poland an autonomous people in '76. eom

[Lenape85]

16. Yes they were, they weren't under Soviet influence

[fortyfeetunder]

15. are you left handed or ambidextrous?

Just wondered if you had your coordination together.

[Lenape85]

17. How should I know, I'm 78 years old

[fortyfeetunder]

18. 78? I thought you were 91!

Or do you feel 78? or 69?

[Lenape85]

19. You are confusing me

[fortyfeetunder]

22. confused about your age?

[Lenape85]

25. I know my age, I'm 84

[fortyfeetunder]

29. how old is Betty?

[Lenape85]

36. That's none of your business, son.

[fortyfeetunder]

38. I'm not a son, sir.

[Lenape85]

49. Are you lesbian or something

[fortyfeetunder]

54. Now why would you ask that type of question?

[Lenape85]

57. Because you looked like a boy to these 67 year old eyes

[fortyfeetunder]

60. I just let my hair down...now do I look like a lady?

(and yes I am quite hetero...)

[Lenape85]

63. Well, Betty did have shorter hair, though, it could be.....

Agh

[fortyfeetunder]

66. here, have another drink...

[Lenape85]

67. No, I dated a man

[maveric]

27. Whats the real deal on the JFK assasination? You were on the Warren

Commission and the whole thing stinks of bullshit.
Come straight with us now.

[Lenape85]

28. Guess what, I lied, I assassinated him

I was jealous because he stole Illinois, and had I won that state, I would have been president much sooner.

[maveric]

31. I KNEW IT!!!!

Was Arlen Spector in on it too?

[Lenape85]

34. Arlen who?

[maveric]

40. Or was it Phil Spector?

Or Danny Schecter?

[Lenape85]

75. BITES YOUR EAR OFF

[JohnKleeb]

32. are you confusing yourself with nixon?

[Lenape85]

37. No, Nixon was a crooked scumbag and he should never have been pardoned

[RadicalMom]

39. "I am not a crook!" Hey, how'd I end up on this thread?

[JohnKleeb]

41. Hey Nixon I got a question

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Lenape85]

44. He wouldn't know the answer, he's a Democrat

[JohnKleeb]

46. Then why did he choose you to be his VP?

[Lenape85]

53. I was not his VP, JFK was

[RadicalMom]

62. Look, I knew JFK, and you're no JFK!

[Lenape85]

65. No you didn't, weren't you not born yet

[RadicalMom]

77. Bummer, I was TOO! I'm old enough to be Kleeb's mom.

[RadicalMom]

45. I'm too busy talking to the president's portraits to answer that.

[JohnKleeb]

48. bummer, did you know that Arnold Schwartzger idolizes you?

[RadicalMom]

51. Now I'm blushing. THE Terminator likes ME?

[JohnKleeb]

52. Yes, he said you were his political role model, what made him a republican

[RadicalMom]

56. Garsh! Hey Pat, pour me another one.

Hey, you know with this weather we're having, I just might pop up again.

[Lenape85]

59. Hey Nixon, your wife is ugly

[Lenape85]

55. No, the terminator likes ME better

[RadicalMom]

58. Bitch!

[Lenape85]

61. Don't call ME a bitch

[JohnKleeb]

64. you guys sound like two valley girls

[Lenape85]

68. Shut up Muskie, nobody asked you

[JohnKleeb]

84. I am not Muskie in this thread

[RadicalMom]

69. OK, then I'll call you a.......help me out here...

[Lenape85]

71. I'VE HAD IT "HURLS CHAIR IN NIXON'S FACE"

[RadicalMom]

73. OW! STOP! STOP! YOU'RE HURTING ME, YA BIG BRUTE!

[Lenape85]

74. FIGHT BACK WOULD YOU "GIVES DICK THE ONE-TWO-ONE-TWO"

[Lenape85]

83. "ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER THINKS YOU ARE DISHONEST"

[Lenape85]

42. Hey Dick, nobody likes you

Go back to Yorba Linda, asshole

[RadicalMom]

43. Are aliens real? What about area 51?

[Lenape85]

47. Oh yes, they cross the Mexican border all the time

[RadicalMom]

70. Yeah, and they come here in saucers with,..with,..BEANS in them.

From Guadalajara.

[Lenape85]

72. "KICKS NIXON IN GROIN"

[RadicalMom]

76. Kissinger writes book, has lunch with Pinochet.

[Lenape85]

78. WHAT, HE DIDN'T INVITE ME, C'MON KISSINGER, LET'S DUAL

[RadicalMom]

79. Mr. President, you must surrender to the Dark Side!

[Lenape85]

80. "I DON'T LISTEN TO HEAVY METAL"

[RadicalMom]

81. Yes, but do you play with heavy water?

[Lenape85]

82. "CHOPS OFF NIXON'S HEAD"

[RadicalMom]

85. Oh My GOD! You've killed Kenny!

[JohnKleeb]

86. You bastard!

[Lenape85]

87. YES I DID