Secrets to a Perfectly Satisfying Relationship:

[papau]

Doobee doobee doo...Frank Sinatra

Secrets to a Perfectly Satisfying Relationship:

It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
It is important that a man makes you laugh.
It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you.
It is really important that these four men don't know each other
Above was emailed to me, but sourced to joke-of-the-day.com

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Also a Quality Assurance/right sizing/profit improving consultants review of a performance of Schubert's unfinished Symphony. The morning after the performance our consultant writes:

For a considerable period, the oboe players had nothing to do. Their number should be reduced, and their work spread over the whole orchestra, thus avoiding peaks of inactivity.

All twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems unnecessary duplication, and the staff of this section should be drastically cut. If a large volume of sound is really required, this could be obtained through the use of an amplifier.

Much effort was involved in playing the demi-semiquavers. This seems an excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all notes should be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver. If this were done, it would be possible to use trainees instead of craftsmen.

No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two hours to twenty minutes.

In light of the above, one can only conclude that had Schubert given attention to these matters, he probably would have had the time to finish his symphony.

[Tinoire]

1. Too funny- both of them

Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh!