You know you're a yankee if ...

[MazeRat7]

After the last "you might be from the south if" thread. I found this floating around out there so I thought I would share in the spirit of keeping things balanced.

Enjoy,

MZr7

1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
5) You don't know what a moon pie is.
6) You've never had grain alcohol.
7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra.
8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
10) You have no idea what a polecat is.
11) Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.
12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
13) You don't have bangs.
14) You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
15) More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
16) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
17) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
18) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
19) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.
20) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
21) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
22) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp on the highway.
23) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
24) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
25) You call binoculars opera glasses.
26) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
27) You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
28) You don't know what applique is.
29) Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within the context of a football game.
30) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, >> Billy Bob, Kay Bob, Bob Bob)
31) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
32) You've never been to a craft show.
33) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
34) You can't do your laundry without quarters.
35) None of your fur coats are homemade.

[jjmalonejr]

1. That's pretty funny.

[bloodyjack]

2. But seriously, what is 'applique'?

[MazeRat7]

5. Fabric cut-outs attached to some garment.

Generally seen around x-mas when red sweat shirts are "decorated" with green felt trees, goofy looking snowmen, and for the extra-fancy some colored reflective glass beads....

Dont ask how I know this.... *grin

MZr7

[DemBones DemBones]

18. Oh, God, every woman I know has a Christmas sweatshirt or vest

except me. I would buy or make one just to wear to the all-female club Christmas parties every year but Mr. DB has a very strong negative opinion about such garments!

[da_chimperor]

3. I'd say most of that applies to me, but I'm from CA

so that makes me a yankee too . . . I guess.

[Cobalt Violet]

4. Guilty!!!!!!!!!!

Of charges:1,3,4,6,10,11,12,13,14,17,19,20,23,26,27,30,31,33,34

So I must be a Damn Yankee!

[Mizmoon]

6. Okay, here's my shot

36) If you've ever said, "I'm sick of lobster."
37) Gardening shows piss you off because they always landscape with tropical plants.
38) You've ever used the word "antiquing".
39) You only have one sibling.
40) You think Orvis sells rugged outdoor clothing.

[DemBones DemBones]

19. I use the word "antiquing" and know more than one definition of it, too.

You can GO antiquing or you can DO antiquing. How is it defined up North?

I think Orvis sells rugged outdoor clothing and a lot of trendy stuff for home and garden like placemats, doormats, bathmats with black-capped chickadees painted on them, plus some cutsey clothes for women (those Christmas sweatshirts. . .)

Garden shows landscaping with tropical plants? Where? Seems to me they always show plants that require cold temps and wilt in the heat and humidity we have in Georgia.

[Mizmoon]

22. I'm only teasing honey

and maybe a little blinded by stereotypes.

(notice how I worked a Southern "honey" into my comment :) )

[bigwillq]

7. Some of these are not true for me

6,7,8,11, 14 just to name a few


But these are still funny!

[NuttyFluffers]

8. i must be a southerner... but i'm from california.

but only 1/2 way southerner. but that's because we love a little bit of everything here (okra's delish, try it in some tamarind soup today!).

by the way, we eat hotter food here than notherners and southerners, any day of the week. wanna try some curry? :D

[MazeRat7]

9. Wanna try some Habanero peppers ? *grin

[NuttyFluffers]

15. they're delish, you should try them stuffed dipped in salsa.

habanero stuffed with serranos dipped in fresh salsa verde, yum!
habaneros were so big here it was like rain -- and still many of our community eat hotter on a regular basis (some of that stuff is insane hot, making my mouth numb and swell is not all that fun). FYI, take the waiters advice at restaurants and try it mild or medium first, especially in the more traditional ethnic restaurants.

also love eating wasabi and pickled ginger by itself. mmm, horseradish...

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

10. Being from NY, I'm taking a crack at this one.

1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
5) You don't know what a moon pie is.
6) You've never had grain alcohol.
7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra.
8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
10) You have no idea what a polecat is.
11) Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.
12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
13) You don't have bangs.
14) You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
15) More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
16) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
17) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
18) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
19) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.
20) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
21) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
22) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp on the highway.
23) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
24) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
25) You call binoculars opera glasses.
26) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
27) You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
I'd wear pink, but not appliques.
28) You don't know what applique is.
29) Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within the context of a football game.
30) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, >> Billy Bob, Kay Bob, Bob Bob)
31) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
32) You've never been to a craft show.
33) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
34) You can't do your laundry without quarters.
35) None of your fur coats are homemade.

[Cobalt Violet]

11. Come on!

You'd rather go to six flaggs than Martha's Vinyard?

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

13. oh ALRIGHT

you got me on that one.

BUT MARTHA'S VINEYARD IS PRETTY.

[JohnKleeb]

17. so is six flags

:P

[klook]

12. I ate okra just today

and I have TWO cans of WD-40! (Just learned recently that it's good for removing paint from windows, and has about 9,000 other uses as well.)

The one about wanting your son to grow up and have his own fishing TV show is my favorite! Maybe he'll even have a bass lure named after him one day.

[jdots]

14. if you call your drag boat a yaught

those were great,not mean enough

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

16. I think this list applies more to the city Yankees

than the country Yankees.

[DemBones DemBones]

20. People up North don't have bangs? Males or females? nt

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

21. They can have bangs. I don't know

what that's all about.