If you lost your religious faith, how old were you when you did?

[Bossy Monkey]

Started to do this as a poll, but there seemed little point, since the answers are probably going to boil down to Before college, College, or After college. I'm the weirdo who was never very religious, fell away markedly during high school, got dedicated to it for the first and only time during college, and fell away once and for all a few years later. A young lady who wanted to reproduce with me dragged me to the Unitarians a few years ago, but that hardly counts.

So how 'bout you? During high school? College? December '00? 11/2/04? In the flatbed of a Chevy pickup? Tell us all about it!

[Gothic Sponge]

1. From 5 years old on.........

Didn't fully until i was a teen.

[Hello_Kitty]

Same here

I remember being in church as a small child thinking something like "this is crap". When I got older I realized that I wasn't alone.

[Carni]

71. Joining in with you two

I was about five and thought the whole church thing was kind of bizarre and scary.

(I am not an athiest, but I lean toward believing there is something of unknown origin out there that doesn't expect a ten percent kick back once a week.)

[XNASA]

2. When I started reading Vonnegut in High School.

It became obvious to me then.

[Fenris]

I had a t-shirt in highschool that said "KURT VONNEGUT IS GOD."

Homemade, of course.

[XNASA]

20. That's funny.

Cause I think I read somewhere that Vonnegut had a t-shirt that read "FENRIS IS GOD".

Small world.

[Fenris]

27. That's Kurt, for ya.

;)

[NoSheep]

25. KV saved my life in high school.

[klook]

69. Hey, me too

And now he's my avatar!

[thedailyshow]

3. Around nine, I'd guess

I realized that it was impossible for me to multiply my sandwich into a thousand peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

[Karenca]

4. IN JHS

I think.

I stopped believing in Santa at 5.

[Mojambo]

5. Can't remember ever believing in god. n/t

[candy]

6. I was in my thirties----the Catholic Church birth control thing did it---

for me. Never looked back,and this was years ago.

[Stew225]

7. right after Vatican II. Hell, I forget when that

was. I think the following friday, though, I ate a side of beef. I was actually in high school.

[Birthmark]

8. Officially, 16

But I was never good at the faith thing.

[Goldmund]

9. I never had one to begin with.

[amber dog democrat]

10. At around 15

when I started reading Bertrand Russell's essays.
I draw a distinction betweeing having spiritual convictions and religious beliefs.
most fo the time I have neither. Some things are better left ineffible , mysterious.

[ropi]

34. my religious studies prof always would ask

if something isn't ineffible...then is it "F'ed"? <wink>

[amber dog democrat]

47. I had an astronomy prof who used to say

" What is mind, only matter ? What is matter ? Never mind "
:)

[donachiel]

11. I was lost but now I am found

I lost it during this year's campaign. I am a Catholic mother of 3 who was having people tell her that the church would turn their back on me if I voted for my beliefs. I stood my ground for what is right in my eyes.

The day after the election, I got my faith back when I started talking to more people both here and on the commonsensecommondground website. I knew that I wasn't the only one out there who was Catholic, opposed to abortion, but FOR choice, and many of the other "moral" issues that were so much a part of this year's election campaigns.

Faith may come and go but I think it's more important to stand by your own beliefs.

[rogerashton]

12. Never had any, but --

Well, Dad was an atheist, but wanted me to be a boyscout as he had been. So we were at Grandmom's, just across the dairy pasture, and I was looking at the Scout Handbook -- Dad's, 20 or so years old by then -- and it said, "A Scout is Reverent," and I said, "I can't be a boyscout -- I'm not reverent." Bad move. Grandma drug me and baby sister off to the Methodist church for a few years. For a while it sort of took, but not long. By college I was so antireligious my freethinker friends made a joke of it.

[bif]

13. About a month ago

Not that I'm deeply religious, but I had some faith in the Catholic Church. But when I got a mailing from the church telling me to vote yes on the bill to ban gay marriage, that did it. I don't think i'll ever go to church again. I told my wife, "Pretty funny, the pedophiles teling me that gay marriage is wrong."

[barb162]

72. yep, they are hypocrites

[Ladyhawk]

14. Around 21. I'm 37 now.

Being raised fundy was excruciating. I really, really can't stand those nutjobs now. I was embedded in fundyism and really had no chance to escape until college. It took awhile to get to atheism, but that's where I am.

LH

Here's how it happened, if you want to know:

http://www.goldrush.com/~ladyhawklh/Walk%20Away.doc

[NoSheep]

15. I think I lost it completely with Bush II. I have been skeptical since

teenhood. Then after taking Western Civ in college and learning where monotheism came from, I was very skeptical of anything that sounded fundamental. Then I decided there was a loving force, greater than us...looking afyter us and making things right in the end. Good Triumphs over evil. Then George W.Bush gets elected again. Now...I believe in demons and devils, but unfortunately I believe I have lost all faith in a higher power. I feel connected to fellow humans like myself. That's about it.

[Nikepallas]

16. 16.

[abaris]

17. I have to say, that I was a Catholic and I lost faith

when I saw the differences between what Jesus supposedly said and the attitude of the church. I lost it even more, when I saw, that the church does its worst to take all the fun out of life. And there's that bit about war. Each and every nation has there very own war priests sending the boy with blessings into the slaughterhouse.

Hard to say when I lost my faith. I must have been around 20, but I'm not sure. I'm an agnostic, not an atheist. I'm only sure of one thing: All the official religions have got it wrong. If there's a god, he doesn't give a shit about us. He would be totally neutral, just like the Pantheons in the old religions.

[Scout]

18. never really had much to begin with...

my parents (mom) took me to church and sunday school when I was little ... I liked the singing, and the bible stories, and playing with the other kids.

As I started to get old enough to have to stay in the service and listen to sermons, and then at 12 had to start confirmation class, I started to realize it just didn't make much sense to me. It just didn't feel right.

I'd go to class, and memorize the stuff they made you memorize, but it didn't mean anything to me. I just did it because my parents made me do it. I was confirmed into United Church of Christ at 13. I stopped going to church in high school.

I liked going for the Christmas eve service, because the sanctuary was huge, and had beautiful wooden beams in the ceiling, and a balcony. The 2 services ended with all congregation lighting candles (passing the flame from the alter candle) and singing "Silent Night" (they used to do it in German, when I was a baby). Very beautiful service, that one.

But I haven't done even that in years and years.

[sui generis]

19. 5 years old

I was supposed to do a "first holy communion" but I had lots and lots questions. I didn't like or accept the answers and so I dropped out.

Years later peer pressure drove me to a few episodes of catechism -- and I still had questions, but this time was told that I was being disruptive and wouldn't understand anyway because I was a half jew.

So I went to jewish youth group (reform), had more questions and a much better time too, but it still boiled down to being told that I didn't really qualify since I was only a half jew.

So there you have it. I have found the answers to those questions, and some very strong opinions about organized religion in general that are generally not suitable for polite company.

[Parche]

21. religious faith

I never had it in the first place

I believe in GOD only

[johnnie]

22. Very early

I was raised Catholic. I went to CCD as a child and I asked a lot of questions and got bad grades. I went to a Catholic school from 6th - 8th grade and once again didn't do too well, but the checks cleared so they let me stay. Every time I questioned something that didn't make sense I was told that it is all "faith". They kicked me out of being an alter boy because I started laughing at one of the funerals once. It was a lot of pressure to keep a straight face at the time. The priest punched me in the arm. One nun slapped me across the face for talking in class, I got my palms whacked with a shoehorn for flipping off a teacher (she said the Beatles weren't that good), one teacher shoved gum up my nose, twisted it around then shoved it in my mouth. I can go on and on about those 3 years. It was a sucky experience and I figured if God's people were that cruel, I'll go look elsewhere.
I didn't loose my spirituality, just all the Christian beliefs that were beaten into me. So I would guess that it was around the time I was about 10 or 11 that I was like ...WTF?

[rabid_nerd]

23. Catholic grade school...

studying the Bible, thinking about it seriously between 7th grade and College.

I'd say at 12, when asking "how do you know?" in Cathecism, getting the response of "How DARE you question!"

[CO Liberal]

24. I Was 24

Newly separated from my first wife, who beat me up on a regular basis and on at least one occasion tried to kill me by going after me with a kitchen knife (while my then 2-year-old son watched).

We agreed to seek counseling from our pastor, who proceeded to blame ME for everything that happened. That was the beginning of the end of my being a Roman Catholic.

This is the DU member still known as CO Liberal.

[the Princess]

80. I was 25 and in the Pentacostal church I was a member of

The assistant Pastor made a very sexist joke at the pulpit about women and I and several other women got up and left the church - and I never have set foot back in another church except for a funeral or wedding.

[Nay]

26. When I was about 11. I remember refusing to be confirmed in the

Catholic Church, and that happens at age 12. It was probably from lots of reading and thinking, and I can't remember ever having much of a respect for any religion at all. It all seemed like fairytales for grownups (like Santa and the Easter Bunny). Oh, and I never saw that religion, on the whole, made religious people act any better than non-religious people. So,what's the point? Somewhere in my kidlike mind I must have had a suspicion that it was just another way of controlling others.

[China_cat]

28. I can't remember ever really believing

in a god. I remember pretending to, to fit in. I remember wanting to because it would make my life easier. But I can't remember ever really believing. It always just seemed like such a silly thing to believe in.

[Marxdem]

29. I have flip flopped on it

When I was young I was raised Christian. In Highschool I kind of strayed away from it and took an agnostic approach. Now I tend to believe in a creator, but I'm not sure much more then that. The world has a "matrix-esque" feeling to it....as if someone had there hand in making it so machine like.

[ze_dscherman]

30. End of 16

Got myself out of Jehovahs Witnesses at early 17, after growing up in that faith/cult.

Although being a sceptic ever since, I get mystic streaks inbetween. , Recently I consider myself an agnostic with strong sympathies towards Buddhism - and that's fine, because as I understand it Buddhism IS agnostic.

[DuaneBidoux]

31. I may have lost the absolute last bit I had on Nov. 2nd

When people who proclaim faith can't look beyond words to contemplate actions, when I, an agnostic wanting to believe am able to detect the Christian fraud called George W. Bush while millions of "Christians" are unable to, it says quite simply that, after all, there is no "there" there.

[canichelouis]

32. 12?, 13 or 14

I vividly remember it being in junior high school.
Raised in a catholic household of 7 kids, catholic school for 12 years, born in 1958. Remember telling my parents that I did not want to go to church anymore, as I had come to the conclusion that there was, most likely, no such being as God (so we're talkin' 1970 or so). My mother stared to cry. My scholarly father, devote catholic, told me to leave the table while he and my discussed the situation ( vividly recall it was Sunday brunch). He called me back and delivered the verdict. I was to leave the house each Sunday, as though I was going off to church, in hopes that one day, cold or rainy I suppose, I would have no other place to go and find my way back into church. The end.

[trotsky]

33. It was so gradual, I don't know.

I was raised in a fairly liberal Lutheran church, but even from a very early age a lot of things bothered me about religion. I was already discarding the things I *knew* couldn't be true by the time I was in Sunday School. Gradually there just got to be more that I knew was false, and one day I took a look at what was left, and whaddya know, there was no "religion" there. That final step probably happened right around age 21.

[elfin]

35. About 12

Never lost a sense of faith that there is a greater power and feel a universality when in nature etc. - but ditched any organized religion as the path to a good and ethical life.

I thought then as I do now that it was arrogant of a human to say that we were created in God's image. I think it is the other way around - they anthropomorphized "God" into an image that corresponded to various human characterisitics to the ultimate.

To me, "God" is unknowable to puny humans and I am content to let it remain a great mystery.

I took the classes to join the Pres. church - but when it came right down to it, couldn't honestly say I believed the things they said I had to say. I asked my parents if I HAD to do it and they let me off the hook.

[MissMarple]

36. I always suspected most religions were just dogma.

Probably, gee, from before kindergarten. But if it helps people connect with the divine, fine. But so much of it leads people down a dark path, making them prey for Falwell/Robertson power mad types.

I am a deist, however. And I do respect ethical, thoughtful, religious people.

[ropi]

37. Reading Sartre and Camus

in HS killed it. We read Tillich later in college and his theory of Ultimate Concern kind of put the nail in the coffin.

[Socialist Dem]

38. I don't know, but

it had to do when I figured out that religion was created in order to keep the peasants in line, and hasn't changed since.

[Lizzie Borden]

43. Well, you know the old saying,

"Religion is the opiate of the masses." I think Marks said it.If not, it was Lenin.

[Politicub]

39. Maybe 14 or 15?

I was raised in a very strict baptist household in the southeast. My mom took me to church every morning and evening on Sunday, and on Wednesday evening until I was about 16 years old. For a few years my mom used to go to a Church of God, where people spoke in toungues and demons were cast out. :eyes:

I don't remember when the switch happened, but I just started realizing how useless it all seemed. When I left to go to college, the deal was sealed and I eventally came to the realization that I'm an athiest.

With the blinders removed from my eyes, it was painfully obvious how corrupt some of the pastors are.

[BiggJawn]

40. 'Round about the time I was 30...

I was working for a "holy Roller" TV station, and saw all the ugly and greedy that went on behind the scenes.

And that got me thinking, and reading, and questioning.

And the questioning got my ass in the sling with Management, because I wasn't being a good little Holy Warrior Thrall anymore.

Questions like: If God is truly omnipotent, why would an engineer get electrocuted working on a transmitter dedicated to telling "untold millions yet untold"? Granted, he violated every fucking safety rule in the book, but that would nave been some miracle, right? Spare the dummy?

And Airplane crashes. 298 dead, one survives, and that's "proof" of God's "Grace". What, the 298 weren't praying loud enough?

[CrispyQ]

41. Had misgivings at 7 but was fully 'lost' at 9.

When my mother remarried, she made me go to Sunday school & church with my new step-grandmother - who I adored. I hated Sunday school.

One Sunday the teacher's lesson was that you could reconcile the Big Bang theory with God cuz where did the hydrogen come from? Her answer - God. God created the hydrogen. Without even thinking I blurted out, "Who created God?" It seemed like a logical question to me. Well that threw her for a loop & the next Sunday I spent 30 minutes in the chapel with the minister lecturing me about faith.

After that I refused to go to Sunday school, although for a few years I continued to go to church with Granny cuz I loved her & I loved to sing. Church is where I learned to sing harmony cuz you can belt it out & if you hit a wrong note, no one knows who it was.

[2Design]

42. this BFEE and company took any last shred of it -

they have turned me against bible toting types that preach - I used to watch a sunday night show with joel olsen - but he ends it with - if you said that prayer - we consider you born again - get to a good bible base church

I remember I was afraid when al gore got on the ticket - because he was born again and they talked up that - who could have figured there was right of that

When I heard of the promise keepers - bells and whistles went off that it was another big problem

so the more these fanatics group the more bells and whistles go off for me - it sounds good but their actions are not those of CHRIST - I use the little christ for them - Jesus would weep by their killing and perferted ways - defiling children -

I want none of them at this moment - I have seen the sickness in all of them

when they reinstall a monster who enjoys killing I do not want any part of their beliefs

[BurtWorm]

44. My spiritual history, by Burt Worm

Christened in a ceremony at a Presbyterian Church in NJ, 1959. Switched with parents to Lutheran church after moving to Maine in 1964. Left Lutherans after mother had crisis of faith in 1968. Began experimenting with blasphemy in 1970-71, found myself surviving it. Totally cynical about all organized religion by college age, 1977. Experimented with nondenominational mysticism at age 20 or so, had quasimystical experience December 1980, shortly after John Lennon's assassination. Couldn't sustain interest in mysticism for the next several years. Had another intense month-long "mystical" experience in October 1988, coinciding with completion of a novel and final semester in college. After intense depression, I concluded that this was probably more likely a manic episode. Slowly lost all interest in mysticism, religion, god, etc. In 1998 or thereabout, began reading very-well argued skeptical critiques of the historicity of Jesus, finally liberating myself once and for all from Christianity. Within a year, I concluded I must be an atheist, as all interest in the possibility of god had finally gone out the window for me. I remain an atheist.

[Atlas Mugged]

45. I never really had "faith"

When the nuns started hammering me with "original sin" and "blood of the lamb" when I was a CHILD I was just stupefied by it all. Yes, in the first grade of my education I had nuns who tried to scare the hell (literally, I suppose) out of me with concepts that were beyond comprehension for anyone that age. I was skeptical from the start and it only got worse. Besides catechism, I was being pumped full of bullshit mythology like the one about the Dogwood's (Cornus florida) role in the crucifixion and how Sand Dollars assumed their curious characteristics after the death of Jesus. I studied Catholicism and the Bible with a vengeance only to search for the absurdities and contradictions. I still read about it, and other Occidental variations, recreationally, but I never did believe it. And, while I studied other religions, I never bought into them (Gohonzens, anyone?). I'm not totally bankrupt of spirituality - I do feel comfortable with many Far Eastern religions and their ideas.

Oh, yeah, I'll never forget my first Holy Communion and the grotesque emphasis that was put on the host and wine: "It IS blood!!! It IS the flesh of Christ!!!". If I had actually believed that - I would NEVER have been able to choke that stuff down.

And then there was my first confession. Seriously, I was a good kid; well behaved and polite. The priest berated me for not having anything "real" to confess and then I started making up things just to satisfy the asshole.

[CrispyQ]

56. LOL! I've always thought that communion was cannibalistic!

The blood & flesh of Christ. WTF? We're eating the lord?

[Bossy Monkey]

88. And he tastes TERRIBLE! n/t

[kslib]

46. 15

I used to lead bible studies, go on christian retreats, the whole bit. Then my mom found out that our pastor was using the money from the communion for personal use. That ended that. Then I thought that I was the first to discover that religion was just mind control for the masses. I told my English teacher, and he started recommending the same books everyone hear talks about reading. That turned me from apathetic to full on anti-organized-religion "zealot" (term used ironically!)

O8)

[exJW]

48. 37 *embarrassed shrug*

Hey, what can I say? When you're raised in a cult, you don't know you have options.

[ceile]

49. 15, before Confirmation n/t

[trof]

50. Around 16-17.

Just didn't make any sense to me.
Still doesn't.

[UdoKier]

51. I was born an atheist like everybody else.

I briefly tried to go through the motions of being a Christian at age 10 or 12 or so, but found it boring, never wanted to go to church, and found my own prayers to be insincere since deep down I knew nobody was listening.

Don't miss it at all.

[blindpig]

52. 7th grade, penguin fatigue n/t

[GumboYaYa]

53. When I started studying the theory of evolution.....

before that I was a fundamentalist Christian. My family was much more moderate than me so it was not a result of their brainwashing me. As a child I made a choice to be a believer and boy was I. When other kids did things like look at girlie magazines or talk about sex with girls, I left the room. I remebre once having a pet run away. I prayed for the pet's return and had complete confidence that God would reward me. The pet ame back and that was the ultimate proof of god in the world to me. It seems so ridiculous now, but that is how my mind worked.

When I studied evolution I rejected my beliefs and became an atheist and then an agnostic. In college I studied philosophy with the Jesuits. Now I am a liberal Christian/Buddhist.

[Darranar]

54. 8, I think...

give or take a year.

[BigMcLargehuge]

90. 8 here too

about the same time I realized that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were ficticious.

[seaj11]

55. Nearly got brainwashed...

into a fundie church! :scared: I was about 13. After that I lost my faith. Then I realized Christianity just wasn't doing it for me. So I was just "spiritual" for awhile, being a good person, compassionate, honest, and all that. I had for a long time been interested in Eastern religions, and a few months ago (I'm 18) I decided to try Buddhism. So far it's a good way of living for me. :-)

[Jack Schitt]

57. 22, and yesterday.

The fundies pretty much killed religion for me.

[skygazer]

58. Never really had any

My parents dragged me to church sporadically during my childhood but none of it ever impressed me as anything remotely rational. I was always one to question things anyway. I enjoyed Sunday School because we read stories and there was a social hour with cookies and such afterwards but I always looked at the stories the same way I looked at fairy tales - entertaining but more than likely fictional.

[bigwillq]

59. Around 18 or 19

when I got to college and started to question a lot of things in my own life.

Haven't gone to church since then except for a wedding or funeral.

[jackelope72]

60. About 11 years ago...I would have been 21, I guess

Several things happening around that time...

I was starting to become highly aware of some decidedly un-heterosexual tendencies, something which I had always been taught was evil and abominable...

I was in college, and becoming more and more proficient in the art of critical thinking...

and my best friend, who was as honestly -- and non-judgmentally -- devoted a Christian as one could hope to meet, completely genuine and sweet and loving toward her fellow humans in spite of all the bad things life had thrown at her, was hit by a car, shattering the bones in her legs and one arm, destroying her pelvic bone, pulverizing her collarbone. And even then, as she slowly healed and went through the painful therapy process, she still believed that God was good and that all that had happened was for a higher purpose. And THEN, just as she was starting to get some semblance of normality back into her life, one of her legs broke on her again, causing her to fall and break the arm that had escaped being broken in the car accident. And the lady who hit her with the car? Well, she got away with just a revoked license and higher insurance costs. The lawsuit my friend filed against her came to nothing, because the lady basically didn't have anything to her name except her car, which was a piece of junk anyway.

After all this, I pretty much came to the conclusion that the God I'd been raised to believe in was either evil or at the very least not at all omnipotent. And nothing I've seen since then has done much to reverse that decision.

[nine23]

61. It was gradual...but soooo complete.

AGE 11:
Refused to get out of bed for sunday school for the 1000th time; parents finally relented. I found shooting birds with my slingshot on days off from school infinitely more relevant to life. And death.

AGE 12:
Parents themselves suddenly realised their beloved Mormon church was a religious cult, Yankee Republican at that. Booze, caffine and all-round joy returned to the household, not to mention a 20% "raise" in household income - the amount we previously had to give to the Mormons in "tithing". The new swimming pool we had put in was not a gift from "God", but a gift from "Dad", now that he could afford it.

AGE 14:
Discovered pot, and the fact that girls had boobs. It was the 1970's: connect the dots.

AGE 15:
Met my first "born again" on a family road trip to Aberdeen, Washington. He was on the beach, in full Marine gear, just back from 'Nam, babbling on about "the lord". He looked like Charlie Manson. Back home in Vancouver, Canada, my favourite American draft dodger, who was also my grade 11 social studies teacher, explained to me how the Vietnam war was fucking people up, and to just feel bad for the guy - he probably can't help it. He needs "a god". Any "god".

AGE 17:
My first road trip after high school: Vancouver, BC through Mexico, to Guatamala City in an MGB-GT to check out the "troubles" - because "it's what Hunter S. Thompson would do". Got to see first hand how Catholic peasants were holding up against the death squads, who were backed by the CIA and those other "Good Christians", the US government. (They weren't holding up very well.) My experiences would later become my masters thesis.

AGE 19:
Started university. Studied all the ususal suspects: Nitzche, Sartre, Solzynitzen, etc. Discovered The Stooges and The Sex Pistols, who helped me with my studies.

PRESENT:
I'm a raging, existential agnostic, and there's no turning back. Agnostic because, when I smoke really good pot, I can't help but think: "Man, these Cool Ranch Avacado Doritos are really good...could they be the flesh of that guy the Mormons used to talk about?" I finish the bag.

[Blue_Tires]

62. i've had religious phases in my life

but 9-11 (my 25th b-day) had me seriously examining the role religion plays in perpetuating war...the invasion of Iraq (along with many fundies cheering along the way) made me break off clean from the church

[hollywood926]

63. Age 11, I was in Catholic school...

but I had experienced public school already and I realized that every kid in the Catholic school was a fucking asshole.

[RPM]

64. when i was 12...

My pastor failed almost all of the kids in the confirmation class.

I turned his redemption by faith shit around on him and told him I didnt need him, his church, or their approval to be redeemed.

Slowly worked my way through the other dogma, rejecting it as unnecessary, fatuous, rediculous or demeaning (both to God and self).

I think my younger brother beat me when at age 9 he declared "Church is a crock of shit" - smart kid.

[MrSlayer]

65. Right about 10 years old.

When I asked questions in school that they couldn't answer I knew it was all bullshit.

[PittPoliSci]

66. in high school.

about my 10th grade year. i just started thinking about how little sense it all made. nothing really special.

[Biased Liberal Media]

67. October 1994- holy crap 10 years ago!

I had JUST turned 16 and I had been very disenchanted with my mom's church for a long time. Mainly that it was sexist and hypocritical...eventually I went off to college and figured out I was Agnostic. Now I'm Atheist.

[really annoyed]

68. Around 19

My parents never forced me into a religion. They gave me the choice. I picked a Baptist church. When I stopped going as an act of "rebellion," the church came after me. They knocked on my door Sunday mornings and would asked me why I wasn't at church! Eventually, that stopped. I kept most of my beliefs though.

Through high school, I considered myself a good conservative Christian! Except for the bitter hatred they seem to carry around. That would lead to my "fall." I thought abortion was an ultimate evil and took ever chance I got to tell everybody else. I would wear my cross to school in hopes of protecting myself against a "secular" classmate. Yes, I was bad....

I broke after high school. I got involved with "pro-life" activities. Met some of the most hateful faces of humanity. Funny that these people would care about women and children... Oh wait, they didn't! I discovered the bitterness behind the mask of the "moral majority." It led me to question my beliefs on Christianity. And it brought me to more "liberal" attitudes on, well, every social issue. My support for gays and lesbians (live and let live attitude) pretty much led to my banishment. At that point, I could have cared less. I NEVER want to be associated with those types again!

Yes, the fundamentalists have destroyed religion for me. And many others. It has taken me four years to get to this point. I will never look back. All those hateful types can kiss my :dem:

[taught_me_patience]

70. 1986

Eight years old... went to sunday school one time only and realized it was pure crap. It was completely out of my system at 9. It's kinda sad growing up feeling a little alienated because you supposedly don't have "moral values". :eyes:

[Bossy Monkey]

86. Welcome to DU! Glad to have you here

Obviously a lot of us are somehow muddling through without moral valures. We should be so lucky that the alleged President should share any.

[Cats Against Frist]

73. When I was 12

I used to put my hand in the Children's Bible that my parents gave me, and swear at the sky, when something went wrong in my life. My parents never took me to church -- but I sometimes went with the kids in the subdivision down the lane. Both they and their families were a bunch of assholes, though -- so I wasn't impressed with churchgoers.

When I was 12, a Jehovah's Witness came to my door and gave me a pamphlet where a bunch of bloody people were rising out of graves.

I decided that I'd had enough of that noise, right there and then.

I marginally believed in an un-designated deity, until I started studying critical theory, and realized that it's probably ludicrous. So my "faith" rests in the philosophical Jesus and some Eastern philosophers -- Krishnamurti -- deference of the self, stuff. But magic deity? No thanks -- not unless I'm on magic mushrooms.

[ozarklib]

74. I never had any to lose.

I was raised in a very fundamentalist household, but I don't ever remember believing it. My Dad told me I had to go to church if I lived in his house, so I moved out as soon as I could.

[OneThirty8]

75. Hi, guys! I'm new here!

Anyway, I was taken to a Presbyterian church for most of my childhood. My parents required me to go through with Confirmation, even though I told them I felt like a liar doing it. I don't remember when it was that I lost my faith, but it was pretty much all gone by the time I was 12 if I ever had any to begin with - so that would be around 1989-90. At this point I'm an atheist. When I see people like George Bush saying "God is on my side," and then sending thousands of Americans into an optional war to kill or be killed, I can't see a God not stepping in and setting the record straight.

I kind of like Jesus, though I don't believe him to be God. I've done a lot of reading on the internet, and based on a lot of the info I've seen (some of which is suspect, I'm sure, but the rest of it seems to be the result of years of research) I've come to the conclusion that the Bible is a gross distortion of the original teachings of a guy that just wanted people to be cool to one another. I can totally get into the idea of being nice to people, yet the fundies seem to miss this all of the other important messages. My sister sent an e-mail out to our extended family with a link to the new site the ACLU just set up. My cousin replied with some bullshit about how she didn't support the ACLU because she supports Dubya and his work toward moving us toward good Christian values and away from homosexuality. (Like discrimination is a good value to spread, right?) Remember the story in the Bible where Jesus says "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone," and the idea is that the woman wasn't stoned to death? I can totally see people like Bush or my cousin hurling stones at just about every single one of us.

[Bossy Monkey]

87. Howdy! Welcome to DU n/t

[helnwhls]

76. around 3rd or 4th grade

[LastKnight]

77. a bit more than 2 years ago. i was 16. nt

[StrongbadTehAwesome]

78. Nearly three years ago - I was twenty.

Grew up in a fundie household. By thinking rationally, I ended up disagreeing with the evangelicals on many points (I was the bane of my HS theology teacher's existence), but I was still Christian, still believed in hell/original sin/etc.

My sophomore year of college I thought I was "called" to be a minister. I switched my major from biochemistry to psychology (good preparation for seminary, I thought) and started studying apologetics heavily on the side. I soon realized that most of the arguments made by the major apologists (C.S. Lewis, William Lane Craig) were circular and full of crap. Essentially, the more I studied, the more I fell away.

Now, I'm almost finished with a bachelor's degree that's totally useless to me. Hooray for making major life decisions while blinded by an irrational faith! </sarcasm>

EDIT: Correct grammar is a good thing.

[WCGreen]

79. I was ten...

my daily church going grandmother said when the cities were in flames during the late 60's...

Those God Damn Niggers are at it again....

That was it for me. Even a 10 year old can spot hypocrisy a mile away.....

My other grandma about had a fit when I brought home a smiling Jesus when I was about 12 years old. She said Jesus would never smile like that.....

So the combined narrow mindness of my grandmothers drove what ever hope there was for a religious life right out the door....

I still believe I am a spiritual person.....

Some one once asked me, what are you going to do if you die and there is a god...

I replied, if there is a god, then I shall get in to heaven because I strive to lead a good, ethical life without the threat of eternal damnation to keep me in check....

[Der Blaue Engel]

81. About 21

Like a couple of others here, I was raised in a really twisted fundie home, and as a child and teen was a True Believer...which made for a miserable social life; to this day I feel like I don't really know how "normal" people talk to each other, because I wasn't supposed to talk to anyone as a kid unless they were born again. I was also programmed to be believe that since I was "saved," I was better than unbelievers...even though it was my job to "save" them, too. (Somehow without talking to them! See how twisted this shit is??)

My mother's death from cancer when I was 14 only confused me more, since all of our church leaders said God had told them it "wasn't a sickness unto death." (Some then suggested she had died because she just didn't have enough faith for God to heal her.)

Once I got out of my father's house and went off to college, I finally had the opportunity to think for myself. It was a long and frightening process of letting go of what I'd been taught as I saw how it didn't jive with reality (or even with any of its own "values" more often than not), fearing all the time I'd be tormented by demons if I "backslid." When a friend and her fiance were struck by lightning (out of a clear blue sky while sitting in a boat on a lake talking about their wedding plans), which killed him and set her legs on fire, leaving her trapped in his arms for over an hour before someone found her, I finally decided that if the Christian God really existed, he was a sick bastard, and I wanted nothing to do with him. I had to decide I'd truly rather go to hell than believe before I was finally free.

Now I'm an atheistic pagan. :)

Oh, and I'm a newbie here...not sure if I'm suppose to introduce myself first before posting...the etiquette here is kind of confusing. :shrug:

[Bossy Monkey]

85. Welcome to DU. Etiquette here is next to non-existent.

Introduce yourself whenever you feel like it, as the mood strikes you. Most people do so in the Lounge, so you're in the right place. Again, welcome; glad to have you here.

Edit to add that I mean etiquette is next to non-existent in a good way.

[sphincter]

82. Born atheist...

....and still atheist. Was taught early that the only person that is going to look out for me is ME. Not God, not Jesus and certainly not Bill O'Reilly. Having faith in something is fine, but it shall not be forced upon you, and noone should tell you what and when to believe.

[Maddy McCall]

83. Immediately after I graduated High School

:-)

[JSJ]

84. at conception

[SarahB]

89. I never quite did.

I've remained a spiritually open, extremely liberal Christian for as long as I can remember. (It just never had a name and I have yet to find where I belong when it comes to that.) Mr Belle is currently doing some Buddhist stuff and taking the children to Unitarian services now which is great (ah, if only common politics and religion were enough to make everything else good) and I may either switch off with him with the kids or go to another Unitarian place (unless I'm going to be working every weekend practically for the next 2&1/2 years- which is a good thing, but makes it all but moot now).

I have this very strong memory of being in 8th grade, about to make my Confirmation, and just wanting to shout out, "Praise Vishnu" (or something along those lines), not that I'm an actual Hindu (not that there's anything wrong with that), I just knew I wasn't quite there when it came to Catholicism, but didn't know what else to do, so I made my Confirmation along with everyone else.

Anyhow, I've kind of always been the same, yet I evolve and continue my evolvement (oh, the woman is deep). I feel enough of something that I could never be an Atheist, but where that is is hard to know. The only thing I do know is I could never be a Fundamentalist anything! That stuff scares me. :scared:

[Pacifist Patriot]

91. Which time?

I've been through several religious crises. First one was in junior high, than another late in high school, than another shortly before I married and I suppose I could be going through one now. I'm working on a doctorate in divinity and it's totally blowing my paradigms.

[American Tragedy]

92. Interesting and complicated question...

I was raised in a family of extremely liberal non-practicing Catholics (i.e. never baptized, only very selective attention to sacraments). In high school, I fell in love with a guy who was atheist to the point of almost being belligerant about it. Years later, after an agonizing breakup, we reunited and I learned to my shock that he had 'discovered' the local fundamentalist church. After I recovered from the fact that this guy had gone from being an anti-religious anarchist to an evangelical youth-minister, I very seriously considered marrying him, despite the fact that we were now diametrically opposed both politically and spiritually. I adored him anyway, or perhaps I adored somebody who no longer existed.

Although I could accept the differences, he simply could not, and he eventually gave me an ultimatum. In a desperate attempt to hold on to my love, I promised to 'give it a try' and I started attending his worship services. It was rough from the beginning. I kept asking questions that none of them could answer, and faith and mysterious ways just wouldn't clear them away.

One evening, I looked around at the people with their eyes clenched shut, swaying with their arms in the air, singing incoherently, and I realized that I had no idea whatthe hell was going on around me. I didn't get what they were experiencing that was so very special. I could pretend to feel this, just act like the others and close my eyes and go through the motions, but no matter how I tried I could never clear my head of skepticism and rationalism and just embrace it. It was clear that I wasn't going to be 'reborn' in some dramatic weeping prodigal child event as he had described.

I looked at him, told him I didn't think I could live like this, and just left. I changed my e-mail, went away to college, and never talked to him again. Although I had been unaffiliated before, I think the pain of that experience is what made me realize for certain that I wasn't cut out for organized religion. I was about 18, and I have only grown more certain with time.

I actually envy people who are religious, because I don't understand it, and I wish that I did.

[ProfessorGAC]

93. A Matter Of Definitions

When i was 14 i told my parents i wouldn't be going to church anymore. However, i am not all that sure that i was really a person of "faith" before that. Maybe as a little kid and all the imagery and stuff. But, by any reasonable age of thought, i probably started to consider at least some of it mumbo-jumbo.

But, at 14 i had just considered that i'd had enough of it. Mind you i had gone to parochial grade school, was an altar boy, (no, the priests never touched me!), was in a private academy run by Carmelites, and my mom and dad were active in the Cathedral and were friends with the bishop. So, i think i slowly had my fill and by the time i was a frosh, i had had my fill.

Except for my own wedding, another in which i stood up, my nieces' baptisms, and the funerals of my dad and MiL, i haven't been in a church since 1970.
The Professor

[NashVegas]

94. 7th Grade, Transfered out of Catholic School

My CS indoctrinated us in the belief that all public school kids were ruffians and communism was a sin against God. Getting a look at the other side of the equation left me wondering what else they were lying about.

Then there were other matters, which I've gone into before on DU and just ain't in the mood to again at this time.

Then there was my new Protestant friend, a neighbor, who persuaded me to be saved at some gathering. Free McDonald's hamburgers to all who participated. Couldn't have articulated it at the time, but something just kinda clicked with that one, the idea that they could pronouce me saved from sin, knowing full well a possible main reason for my presence was the burger; made me think maybe they didn't believe so strongly in it, themselves. Feh.

[LisaLynne]

95. Complicated ...

I think I realized the fundie religion I was raised in wasn't for me at age 8 -- too much sexism -- yeah, I noticed that at a very young age. Why could the boys do somethings and the girls couldn't? That did NOT sit well with me. But, I threw myself into it because I was stuck at home and didn't know what else to do. When I went to college, I had the chance to just quit going, which I did. And then I realized I hadn't really believed any of it for a long time. Still, I assumed it was just that one particular form of Christianity. Then, I read some stuff and did some research and gave up on Christianity all together, was an athiest for a while, and have now settled into a nice, calm sort of relaxed spirituality.

[SiouxJ]

96. Shortly after my brother died. I was 15.

I think his funeral service was the last time I went to church, (except for other funeral services).

[Aiptasia]

97. The day I found out there's no Santa Claus

Sorry, but it's true. The day I found out there wasn't a real St. Nick (at least not the stereotype) is the day I renounced all faith. I was a miserable five year old.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

98. i never really believed in god...just dolls....

[Philostopher]

99. It was a long process.

The church I attended until I left home at nineteen actually left me, as much as I left it. A few things occurred in succession that changed my thinking:

A minister came into a fairly liberal church and turned it into a smug, self-congratulating evangelical club.

I studied Eastern philosophies in college, and got my first taste of what other people elsewhere believed. It didn't all sound evil, to me, though the aforementioned minister reminded me that if they didn't accept Jesus they'd all burn for eternity.

I read Joseph Campbell's 'The Power Of Myth,' and realized what a tool religion can become -- as it has become now, as a matter of fact, for some misguided 'leaders' in this country.

I know my folks were very disappointed that I never went back to church and no longer pretended to be Christian.

I'm not an atheist, but I am agnostic -- I'm willing to allow there might be some higher power out there, but I see no undeniable proof, and I certainly don't think any one religion I've ever read about has the whole story right.

There's too much politics wrapped up in every religion in the world, once you start reading about it. I don't necessarily mean national politics -- I mean behavior-control politics.

No one religion offers me the right to believe what makes sense and reject the rest, even the most liberal belief system still seems to feel compelled to be right. I'd be a hypocrite if I attended any one church because none of them offers me a set of beliefs that seems internally consistent and makes sense.

So while I'm not an atheist, I certainly don't believe what I grew up believing, and I don't see any chance, short of a head injury, that I'll ever go back to that. Not being snarky -- people sometimes have religious conversions after they're hit on a certain part of the head. That seems the only thing that would change me, at this point.

[Emily Jane]

100. New to DU, atheist to the core!

First, read my brother's post above:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=1977838&mesg_id=1981787&page=

I was dragged to the same Presbyterian Church as my brother. I attended church until I was 18 for two reasons. (1) It seemed to make my mom happy. (2) I played in the bell choir. Music is fun!

I remember being about 4 or 5 years old, sitting my parents down, and telling them I knew that Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc. were not real. I lumped God together with them at some point, but I'm not sure if it was before or after the "Santa confession." My Sunday school teachers could never answer all of my questions. They were the only people that ever saw me as something of a troublemaker.

When I was young, I still thought church was necessary to teach people morals. How else would we know it's wrong to kill, steal, etc.? When the pastor who baptized me left, I saw the political side of things and I was disgusted. These people weren't very moral. Also, I found out that one of the most involved church members offered to pay another congregant to sleep with him. He was married. I felt uncomfortable going to church, but it was easier than dealing with my mother, so I went.

It was in college that I finally admitted to my mother that I don't believe in God, and that I haven't for a long time. Four years later, she's still not over it. This leads me to another point about religion. Why must atheists defend their beliefs (Note: NOT lack of beliefs--I have plenty of beliefs!) while Christians are not expected to do this?

I think that's all for now.

[Bossy Monkey]

102. Welcome to DU! Glad to see you here. n/t

[immoderate]

101. At he same time I knew the difference between truth and fiction.

Interestingly, one of my favorite books when I first learned to read was of Bible stories, and then I immediately graduated to science fiction.

I got into some trouble when I was about five and said I didn't believe in God. My grandmother freaked out and told me I shouldn't say that because it's a sin.

So it was a long time before I said it again. Maybe I was seven.

--IMM

[City of Mills]

103. When I was 8

Third grade, my mom asked if I was learning anything in CCD (I was brought up Roman Catholic). I said no, I hated it and nothing I did made sense, all I remember about it was having to go to an 'extra' school where we had to memorize shit and learn the bible. I guess I was a bad student, because I never 'felt' it. My mom pulled me out of CCD that year and the church continuously bugged us for years after seeking money and donations using tactics of guilt. Ironically, the Diocese shut down that church a few weeks ago, despite the fact that the church was very solvent and had tremendous value to the community (mostly multigenerational French Canadian families). Oh well!

[BarbaRosa]

104. About 7 or 8

I remember being in Sunday School, not by my choice, and we were singing Onward Christan Soldiers. The thought crossed my mind -wow these people are awfully happy about war-. I knew then I was not a fan of war and thought church would be one place against the horrors of war, guess not.

In my early twenties I had a brief encounter with the Baptist, in a convoluted effort to save a marriage that never should have been. That was short and educational, my first real encounter with hypocrisy.

Watching the weaponization of religion in the past decades has only strengthened my feelings .

[Tafiti]

105. I grew up in an evangelical/fundamentalist household...

...(and I slash those not because they are interchangeable, but because it was a mixture of both), so needless to say, in that kind of environment, the social conditioning (if you will) went pretty deep. As soon as I went off to college, I took a philosophy course, which initiated a very gradual slipping away from my former faithful self which was complete by the time I graduated from college in May of '03. At various points throughout college, I tried to resist what my mind was beginning to know (as opposed to believe), but logic and reason was too much for my faith to bear. I would say the transformation was complete after reading ISHMAEL by Daniel Quinn my senior year of college. My worldview was forever changed, and I've never been happier or felt more free.

Not that I'm necessarily an atheist, but the rigid, dogmatic form of Christianity that I once espoused is completely gone. I believe there is much more to Jesus than what was written by a few select male individuals who, as human beings, have their own biases and "agendas".