Ways to have fun at Walmart

[GingerSnaps]

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "Where are your tampons?"

Try on bras over top of your clothes.

Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "I smell sex and candy"

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

Put M&M's on layaway.

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti depressants are.

Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me!! pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Go into the dressing room and yell real loud "Hey, were out of toilet paper in here!"

[Shoeempress]

Too funny. I wouldn't limit putting just condoms into folks carts, how

about tampons or ladies undies into a cart filled with hunting/fishing things or car parts, Preparation H into any ones cart, things like that

[democracy eh]

38. ahhh you've seen Pecker

excellent pastime

[vs the introvore]

1. camp in the parking lot where the nature preserve used to be

part of the POA.

[nadinbrzezinski]

2. I have a better idea

convinced ten of your neighboors and family members not to EVER again shop at Walmart, deal

Enough of us do this... Walmart will start having other problems

[Shoeempress]

4. The only time hubby & I go into walmart is to use the bathroom, but I

can see using this venture to accomplish various of these activities.

[GingerSnaps]

6. Same here

Some gas stations don't have bathrooms any more.

[No Mandate Here.]

8. I am absolutely amazed

when I start ranting about MallWart and hear how many of my neighbors, of all political stripes, do not shop there. I always expect to get to the statistics about how the chain costs California nealy $100 million per year in welfare costs, and so forth, but often don't even get that far in my rant.

Shop Goodwill stores whenever possible- especially in the suburbs. The quality is usually a lot better than Mallwart.

This list is too funny, especially the "Hey, you're out of toilet paper in here!"

[barb162]

17. could you direct me to that article; I would like to spread that

around about the welfare costs. I hate wallieworld for a variety of reasons: rotten quality, an example of how poverty-stricken the average American has become, the way they treat their employees, etc.

[Not Me]

20. The Yahoo!news link has expired,

it was http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20040803/us_nm/retail_walmart_wages_dc_2

but here's the gist of it. It went on to say, a Walmart spokesperson criticized the study. (What else).

Study: Low Wal-Mart Wages Cost Calif. $86 Million

Tue Aug 3, 4:24 PM ET

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - California paid an estimated $86 million in public assistance in 2001 because workers at Wal-Mart Stores Inc. earn such low wages, researchers said on Tuesday.


"Wal-Mart workers' reliance on public assistance due to substandard wages and benefits has become a form of indirect public subsidy to the company," said the report issued by the University of California, Berkeley Labor Center.

"Reliance by Wal-Mart workers on public assistance programs in California comes at a cost to the taxpayers of an estimated $86 million annually; this is comprised of $32 million in health related expenses and $54 million in other assistance."

The report said many of Wal-Mart's 44,000 California employees in 2001 relied on food stamps, Medicare and subsidized housing to make ends meet and also need more public health care than typical retail workers.

Report co-author Ken Jacobs said he obtained data on Wal-Mart wages from a lawsuit that revealed information for 2001. The study said that 54 percent of Wal-Mart workers earned less than $9 an hour in 2001, 21 percent made from $9 to $9.99, and 16 percent from $10 to $10.99.

[No Mandate Here.]

25. Thanks

You answered the question before I even knew it was there.

The DU community is fantastic.

[barb162]

32. thanks; it was disgusting to read, I hate that store

[GingerSnaps]

36. Several cities are fighting against Walmart

By not allowing them to put up a store.

Walmart does not pay overtime either. Anything over 40 hours is off the clock.

[Ladyhawk]

42. Here's a link to the article.

http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/village/77.html

[Jack Rabbit]

3. Wear a "Union YES" t-shirt in the store.

!!

[lovedems]

5. That is what my step dad does.

He doesn't go there very often but whe he does he wears his union shirt.

[WindRavenX]

7. you will be shot upon arrival

NT

[China_cat]

30. That's what I do

when I have to go there. I use my mobility scooter with the union bumper stickers.

And we are losing more and more businesses here so it becomes necessary at times to go, much as I hate to. There are 2 new supercenters going up...that makes 8 WalMarts, 5 of them supercenters within a 15 mile radius. Plus a 1/2 cent new tax to pay for the roads in and out of these new ones.

[gmoney]

9. better would be to get pro-union literature

and drop it all around the store and in the breakroom if possible

...don't do stuff that makes life tougher for the poor idiots working there...

...then again, if we make it extra hellish, maybe they'll see the light of wage slavery...

[WindRavenX]

10. part of the problem is that the workers...

...are essentially slaves to the system. Read "Nickel And Dimed". They can't afford to stop working at Wal-Mart and they can't get a better job...they're literally screwed.

[GingerSnaps]

11. Everyone needs to read "Nickel and Dimed"

Great book :cry: and it's so true.

[smbolisnch]

12. Thanks for the chuckle...

My husband kept asking what is so funny in here :silly:

[GingerSnaps]

15. Anytime

:silly:

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

13. Hey! You been reading my journals, or what?

I have done all those and more, I think.

[Historic NY]

14. Walmart KOA campground?

Funny you mention Walmart, my local paper did a story on all the Rv's that seem to dot the walmart parking lot over night. Apparently a lot of snowbirds used the parking lot to parked over night rather than using a RV campground. One commented "when we see the snowblowers & lawn mowers all chained up, we know it is safe since the have security on duty". I thought is was amusing.

http://www.recordonline.com/archive/2004/11/07/akrv.htm

[Deja Q]

16. Do #1 but add a note saying you'll buy it when they change their

business practices!

[American Tragedy]

18. God, this is old

I haven't seen one of these since I started high school.

[No Mandate Here.]

26. If it offends you that others aren't as cool as you,,

then don't post.

[American Tragedy]

39. It doesn't

I was marveling at how long it has been. I used to collect those lists and I'd almost forgotten about them.

[GingerSnaps]

40. We can all use a laugh

And a :hug:

[American Tragedy]

41. that's a good point. too much crying, too much bitching. :sigh:

anyway, this list doesn't seem to include testing the bikes. I fondly recall riding pink little-girl bicycles through the aisles at 3:00 AM., dodging carts and projectiles and the occasional police officer. Hell, we can do that right now. Any Louisville DUers here?

On edit, nevermind. I've got a paper to write and I don't think that civil disobedience at the local Wal-Mart would be accepted as a late excuse.

[jdots]

19. this list is exellent

get very worked up in the shoe isle smelling all the shoes.
Place porno in all the combo t.v.s.
ask to try on house wear items in dressing rooms.
ask to demo all tools and vacume cleaners

[Bridget Burke]

21. Lots of cute tricks to make it harder on the workers.

Don't they have problems enough?

My approach to Walmart? I never go there.

[Deja Q]

22. Regarding the condoms,

They have Magnum (large), Magnum-XL :wow:, 'for her pleasure', and others. They might have an XS version too. How should we divvy those up? (XS for the known repukes?)

[GingerSnaps]

28. Ribbed or lubricated

Some KY might make it even more embarrassing for a freeper :evilgrin:

[Diana52]

23. Pay by check!

I'm originally from Michigan,and currently exiled in Tennessee.

I'm forced to make an occasional foray into The Hole in the Wal-Mart.

I always pay by check when I'm in there. My last name is Finnish, and has alot of "n's" in it. I invariably hear, Whut kinda' name is that? It's notta' East Tennessee name, to which I reply, it's third generation American, and all I can hear is WHOOOOOOOSH, as it goes right past them.

*giggles*

[Dukakis88]

24. I'm a guy, and I want to try that tampon idea.

Might freak 'em out.

[skygazer]

27. Gee that's hysterical

Heavy sarcasm. What in the world is funny about fucking with people who barely make enough to scrape by? Overworked and underpaid people with lousy benefits. You think the management is going to put everything away or deal with all this shit? No, it's the people who already have too much to do and don't get properly compensated for it.

For those of us who work retail, there is nothing funny about this list. We see enough of this type of moran already, thank you very much. We don't need liberal Democrats acting like jerks as well.

[GingerSnaps]

29. What do managers do when it gets slow in the store?

Cut staff so it's better to have something to do than nothing to do.

It's humor!

[skygazer]

31. Malicious humor

Which has never appealed to me. Just stating my humble opinion. Carry on.

[GingerSnaps]

33. It wasn't meant to be malicious

I don't shop at Walmart I only patronize their bathrooms.

[mongo]

34. As the owner of a retail store - I have to agree with you

But it sure is damn funny thinking about it!

[Darth_Kitten]

35. Too evil!!

I like it. :evilgrin: :)

[GingerSnaps]

37. Pure evil

Thanks!