In Memory of Rodney Dangerfield:

[radwriter0555]

May he rest in respectful peace!

Planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

A beggar asked me for 50c for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

Is there another word for synonym?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

[Bunny]

1. He was one of a kind.

Is there anyone who did not love Rodney? Bye Rodney, RIP.

[joeybee12]

2. Great Lines! He will certainly be missed!

[flamingyouth]

3. Those are great! My favorite:

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Thanks!:hi:

[pinto]

4. "If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all. "

RIP Rodney.

[no name no slogan]

5. One of my favorites

he told some off-color joke, and the crowd all hooted at him.

His reply?

"What are you people, owls?"

:D