Best. Movie. One-liner. Ever.

[tjwash]

Poll question: Best. Movie. One-liner. Ever.

And of course since it's my post, these are my personal favorites. How about yours?

[swag]

1. "Keep tellin' me about the good life, Elton, cause it makes me wanna puke"

"Five Easy Pieces"

[Demit]

7. "Whew! Looks like another scorcher!"

Warren Beatty in "Ishtar".

[JimmyJazz]

2. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

[skygazer]

3. "What we have here is a failure to communicate"

Cool Hand Luke

[TexasBushwhacker]

49. Get's my vote n/t

[coolhandlulu]

83. I second that! hehehe

eom

[SoCalDem]

4. OTHER......"I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair."

Bette Davis: "I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair." (Cabin in the Cotton).

[Worst Username Ever]

5. BULLshit! I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

Full Metal Jacket.

[tjwash]

9. Five foot nine?! I didn't know they stacked shit that high!!

nt

[Spiffarino]

58. What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!!?

n/t

[realisticphish]

111. the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass

and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! i think you been cheated!

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[ewagner]

6. Almost too many to count

one that made me spew beer was from Army of Darkness "The name's Ash....housewares".

[tjwash]

11. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw.I wouldn't call that *fine*

Evil dead 2

[Phillycat]

128. "Hey! She-bitch! Let's go."

[pscot]

8. Now maybe it'll be quiet around here.

Yojimbo.

[demgrrrll]

13. What did you do for the D A.? As little as possible..Chinatown

So many from Office Space and The Big Lebowski. All those what ifs all those strands in the duders head. Hey! there's a beverage here!
Shut up Donny. I could get you a toe, Dude.

[Joe Chi Minh]

145. Dude,

when the ashes of their recently deceased pal blew back into his face, beard and sunglasses: "Why is it that every **** thing you do is travesty, Walter!"

Well, that's maybe not technically a one-liner, but still very amusing in that scene. But Woody Allan had some great one-liners in Broadway Danny Rose, e.g. "That sounds more like something in the screenplay of Murder Incorporated, than a philosophy of life".

Lily Tomlin's a great one for fantastic one-liners, too, but one of *the* funniest ones by anyone I've heard was uttered by Danny in the TV spoof Soap, when he was on the run from a Mafia capo. One of the latter's enforcers called at the door, and Danny appeared, disguised as a rabbi. Unconvinced, the mafioso asked him if he had any credentials. "Credentials! Credentials!" Danny cried out. "four thousand years of innocent suffering and you ask me for credentials!"

Then there was the Woody Allen anecdote, how other famous writers - I think he was supposed to be a novelist himself - reacted to something he said or wrote, and he said ... "and when it came to Hemingway, he just punched me in the face|!"

Then there was that hilarious line the dopey (also very camp in the first version, I saw) producer, played by Gene Hackman, which he had copied from Travolta, tried on Bones, the loand shark chief: "Look in my eyes, when I'm talking to you!" (The subtext being, "Do I look as if I'd scruple to break every bone in your body"). Bones can't believe his ears. He was probably the bloke who first thought it up! And that's when he used him as a kind of squash ball bouncing from one wall to the other.

Also when Bones, after asking the geeky hoodlum (who had dramatically pulled aside his coat to reveal a pistol in his belt), if he was some kind of quick-draw specialist, his nibs replied that the piece was carrying was useless, as the piece he carried was an unreliable make and kept jamming, Bones replied, "What you mean like this?" and shot him three or four times (deeead).

[XNASA]

10. DeNiro to Charles Grodin in Midnight Run.....

"I got two words t'say to you ...........SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!"

[Neshanic]

12. "You monsters live such interesting lives". Bugs Bunny cartoon

[Kikosexy2]

17. And you..

forgot to add "Bobby-pins please!"

[realisticphish]

112. such an INteresting monster deserves an INteresting hair-do nt

[BootinUp]

14. "I kinda noticed when you DON'T like 'em, they ain't around long NEITHER."

Lone Watie to Josey Wales.

[Neshanic]

16. "Dying ain't much of a livin'" ...another Josey Wales

[Mizmoon]

34. "It has a certain understated stupidity."

That is my all-time favorite movie.

[Zensea]

15. If they move, kill them --- The Wild Bunch

The more you drive, the less intelligent you are -- Repo Man

Badges, we don't need no stinking badges -- Treasure of the Sierra Madre

[wryter2000]

18. Other

Space Jam. "What kind of Mickey Mouse outfit would name a team 'The Ducks'?"

[Kikosexy2]

19. Regan:..

"You're mother sucks cocks hell Karras!" (The Exorcist)

and there's Pink Flamingos:

"There's two kinds of people...people like me and assholes!"

[UdoKier]

20. "What is your major malfunction?!"

nt

[hellbound-liberal]

21. "I'll have what she's having!" from "When Harry met Sally"

and Meg Ryan was doing an impression of a woman faking an orgasm in a crowded restaurant.

[HawkerHurricane]

94. And the woman who said the line...

was Billy Crystal's mother.

[TahitiNut]

98. Close. It was Rob Reiner's mother: Mrs. Carl Reiner (Estelle).

Yes, it was one of the best lines ever, imho.

[EstimatedProphet]

22. "The life of a Repo Man is always intense."

Repo Man, of course.

[Zensea]

25. What are you a commie?

I don't want any commies in my car.
No Christians either.

[sendero]

29. Don't forget...

.... about that lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything.
It's all part of the cosmic unconsciousness.

Plate 'o shrimp.

[sendero]

30. What's a matter with you?

Don't you like your job anymore? Not too happy in your job?

[sendero]

32. More Repo Man...

Never broke into a car. Never hot-wired a car. Kid. I never broke into a trunk. I shall not cause harm to any vehicle nor the personal contents thereof. Nor through inaction let that vehicle or the personal contents thereof come to harm. That's what I call the repo code kid. Don't forget it etch it in your brain. Not many people got a code to live by anymore.

[orpupilofnature57]

118. i GET THAT CHIVY,, i'M going indy, bouta a hundred miles per,

Also,OTTO theres room to move as a fry cook.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

121. "I blame society...."

[Deja Q]

23. Time is the fire in which we burn

Sorin - Star Trek Generations (not a great villain, but it's a highly memorable line)

[WilliamPitt]

24. In all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world,

she walks into mine.

[Catshrink]

59. "Here's looking at you kid!"

The whole movie is full of fabulous quotes:

"Louie, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Round up the usual suspects."

"No matter how many of us you kill, thousands will rise up to take our places. Even Nazis can't kill that fast."

"We'll always have Paris."

"I'm shocked! Shocked! to find out gambling is going on in here!"

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

75. "Make it ten. I'm only a poor corrupt official."

"Go ahead and shoot; you'll be doing me a favor."

"I remember every detail. The Germans wore grey, you wore blue."

"I've often speculated on why you don't return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Did you run off with a Senator's wife? I like to think that you killed a man; it's the romantic in me."

"You know Rick, I have many a friend here in Casablanca, but somehow, because you despise me, you are the only one I trust."

"I beg of you, Monsieur: watch yourself. Be on guard. This place is full of vultures! Vultures everywhere!"

[Parrcrow]

96. "He's just like any other man, only more so"

[NamVetsWeeLass]

26. hmmm...

Anything R.Lee said in FMJ is memorable. But then we have some things like "What's your Name? Kate, What's yours? Sex Machine, Good to meet you Kate..." (From Dusk Til Dawn-Juliette Lewis and Tom Savini) Or even "Hmmmmm, Upgrades" (The Matrix-Revolutions-Keanu Reeves) then we have my Italian Half that loves all things "Rocky"(never take an Italian to see a Rocky movie...... BAD IDEA) "You wanna ring the bell or should I? ::amused look:: Ding Ding....." (Rocky 3-Sly Stallone and Carl Weathers) And let's never forget the Scots half of me..."The good Lord Tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure You're Fucked..." (Braveheart-David O'Hara to Mel Gibson) Let's add "What are you? I'm COMPLICATED!" (Stuart Townsend as Dorian Gray-League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) AND "What are you? I'm Pissed off, that's what I am!..." (Linda Fiorentino to Alan Rickman-Dogma)

[dumpster_baby]

27. "That's what you get when you FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!!!"

Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski.

[Guaranteed]

77. I think that's truly the best line ever.

"You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens? THIS is what happens, Larry! THIS is what happens WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS"

[Selwynn]

114. DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY??

DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY... when you FUCK... A STRANGER... IN THE... ASS!!!!!!!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS LARRY!!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS LARRY!!

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

119. You all have made me laugh uncontrollably just thinking about this scene..

It's not so much the lines. It's freaking John Goodman. The delivery. The crowbar. The shattered 'vette windows. The angry neighbor.

[redqueen]

138. FAIR?! Who's the fucking nihilist here?!

What are you, a bunch of fucking crybabies?! - Walter

[dumpster_baby]

139. "...that, and the occasional acid flashback." n/t

[KG]

28. Shatner as Capt Kirk - 'What does God need with a Starship?'

[orpupilofnature57]

31. AND AUNTIE EM,THERES NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

oR remember no matter where you are, there you are.From return to thunderdome.

[TexasBushwhacker]

50. My favorites from the Wizard of Oz

Dorothy: "Now I KNOW we're not in Kansas".

and

Scarecrow: "Well, I'm not afraid of anything .... except a lighted match."

[Terran]

57. Best Oz line, IMHO:

"Oh, what a world, what a world! Who'd have thought a good little girl like you could destroy all my beautiful evil?!"

Well, that, and maybe, "Oh Toto! He got away! He got away!" That one gets me *here* every time.

[Guy Fawkes]

33. "You got two things: Jack and shit. And Jack left town."

[Devil Dog Dem]

64. Refresh my recollection: from what movie is that line?

It's funny!

[Joe Chi Minh]

146. That's got to be

one of the funniest ever, Guido!

[Mizmoon]

35. "Dear Lord, please don't let me fuck up."

The Right Stuff

[Spider Jerusalem]

36. "You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!"

[PurityOfEssence]

105. "Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?"

General Ripper, of course...

[tjwash]

37. Never rub another mans rhubarb.

Batman. Only Jack Nicholson could pull that line off.

[no_hypocrisy]

38. "There are only two kinds of people: my kind of people and assholes!"

Pink Flamingoes, as uttered by Divine.

[Guy Fawkes]

44. "There are only three kinds of people..."

"Those who can count, and those who can't."

[FlyByNight]

39. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?"

Pulp Fiction. :evilgrin:

[-..__...]

43. "Which one is it"?

"It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker on it".

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

120. "Check out the big brain on Brad!"

[NC_Nurse]

40. "Wouldn't it be great if

Insecurity and desperation made you attractive?"
Broadcast News

[FredScuttle]

41. All those moments will be lost in time...

(wait for it)

like tears...in the rain

- Blade Runner

[orpupilofnature57]

47. I think j.f therefore I am . thats it priss, now show him why

[redqueen]

136. Great choices

My favoritest movie EVER.

:loveya:

[Endangered Specie]

42. Kirk, referring to Spock c. 1980's "He did a little to much LDS"

[Endangered Specie]

45. "I've always loved you" - Nazi from Blues Brothers, just before their

car, in freefall, puts a 20 foot hole in the road.

[Endangered Specie]

46. "And tell them its 70 grand" - Porter from payback...

correcting the outfit which, after agreeing to pay him 130,000 after kidnapping the bosses son.

[DS1]

48. Oh god no! God no please don't! AYARAAARRGGGHHHH

*hack hack slice butcher* *sputter cough cough sputter*

Reservoir Dogs

[TexasBushwhacker]

51. You're not too smart. I like that in a man - Body Heat - n/t

[Phillycat]

129. YES.

Love it!

[Mandate My Ass]

130. -- Body Heat

WH to KT after she complained that all the guys in the bar have hit on her.


WH: Maybe you shouldn't be dressed like that.

KT: What do you mean? I'm wearing a skirt and a blouse.

WH: Maybe you shouldn't have worn that body.

[TexasBushwhacker]

52. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

It smells like ..... victory.

Robert Duvall - Apocolypse Now

[KittyWampus]

53. I'm Basically Just On My Way To Australia, James Garner

Support Your Local Sheriff

[gollygee]

54. A different one from "O Brother Where Art You"

my fave:

Well ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!

[everythingsxen]

55. Roy Battey (Blade Runner) - "I've seen things..."

"..you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... C-beams glittering in the dark by the Tannhauser Gate... All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die."

Okay, so maybe thats more of a soliloquy instead of a one liner.

[yardwork]

89. I've done......questionable things

[redqueen]

Yes, the one liner would be:

Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave!

Or

Not very sporting to fire on an unarmed opponent. I thought you were supposed to be good!

[Catshrink]

56. "Frankly, my Dear, I don't give a damn."

totally scandalous.

[Amaya]

60. "As you wish"

The Princess Bride. Also, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me. I quote John Lennon. He was the walrus. I could be the walrus, but I'd still have to bum rides off of people" ~ Ferris Beuller's Day Off

[everythingsxen]

62. Oh - I thought you meant "As you wish"

as said by Boba Fett in Empire Strikes Back. :P

[VOX]

61. "Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."

Groucho Marx in "A Day at the Races," 1936.

[peekaloo]

63. Son, you got a panty on your head.

Raising Arizona

[Mizmoon]

65. "So Jimmy, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

[Amaya]

66. "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue"

:)

[warrens]

67. I had known Betty for a week.

Betty Blue.

[enigmatic]

109. GREAT movie!!

Zorg was da man; and Betty...

[enigmatic]

110. "Screamin' Jay Hawkins is the man, so bug off!"...

Eva, from "Stranger Than Paradise"

[barb162]

68. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

apocalypse now

[Digit]

69. Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn!

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

70. How're you gonna keep 'em down on the farm when they've seen Karl Hungus?

[peekaloo]

72. LOL.......Dude you're being very un-Dude.

:smoke:

[kcr]

71. "you keep using that word .."

.. I don't think it means what you think it means" -- Princess Bride.

"Let me explain. No, is too much. Let me sum up." Princess Bride.

"The World only turns forward." --Perestroika

"I want to smell the ocean" -- 12 Monkeys. Summed up the whole movie for me.

"Killing a man is a terrible thing. you take away everything he's ever had, and everything he's ever going to have." -- Unforgiven

[tarkus]

73. Best line ever... from Chasing Amy

"That bitch could be a bigger fucking germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak!"- Bankie Edwards

[TexasBushwhacker]

144. From Drugstore Cowboy

"You never fuck me and I always have to drive."

[Djinn]

74. how do you just pick one?

"Better send a meat truck, Charlie’s copped a saucepan in the throat." - Mad Max

"I am the Nightrider. I'm a fuel injected suicide machine. I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller!" - Mad Max (and paraphrasing the AC/DC song Rocker)

"Walter, just stand outside so Chief can translate my Iraqi ass map... okay?" - Three Kings

"Here's Johnny" - The Shinning

[Guaranteed]

76. Anything from The Big Lebowski. nt

[Bucky]

78. Best closing line from a bad movie: "Sky Captain & World of Tommorrow"

"Lens cap"

[Swede]

79. "Omigod! It's full of stars!" 2001 A Space Odessey

"Good kill." Sgt.Stiener in Cross of Iron

[Johnny 99]

80. "You've got to be fucking kidding"

From The Thing, after the dude's head splits off from the body and starts crawling away like a spider.

[Wapsie B]

81. "Do ya feel lucky,

well do ya punk?" Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry.

[lpbk2713]

82. "Bick, you shoulda shot that fella a long time ago.

Now he's to rich to kill." ....... Chill Wills, "Giant".

or

"Hey? I got a question. How're you gonna get back down that hill?" Paul Newman to Richard Boone in "Hombre".

[BluePatriot]

84. "I've got a bad feeling about this!"

-in every Star Wars movie, hehe.

[Biased Liberal Media]

85. Honestly I don't care for any of those

I do like:

"And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!" (Spaceballs)

[tjwash]

86. Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world.

The princess bride.

[qnr]

87. Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die.

[TahitiNut]

103. Yup. Classic.

[RoyGBiv]

106. HELLO!!!!

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

The whole building intensity of the repitition makes it stick in my mind as one of the greatest lines ever.

:kick:

[PassingFair]

88. You let a woman beat you,

Punk!
The unrivaled Gena Rowlands in the original Gloria. Also contained the line: "You are not the man, I am the Man" spoken by the PuertoRican kid, it will always lay in wait in some recess of my brain.

[Zomby Woof]

90. Keep your friends close

But your enemies closer.


It's a Sicilian message, it means Luca Brazzi sleeps with the fishes.


It's not personal, it's just business.

[bo44]

91. I could stuff your brain up a gnat's ass and it would rattle around like

a BB in a boxcar.

[neebob]

92. "Ted Nugent called; he wants your shirt back."

George Clooney to Brad Pitt in Ocean's Eleven.

Okay, so it's not the best ever - but I laughed out loud.

[HEyHEY]

93. "Hey relax, you screwed up, you trusted us!"

From Animal House

[tjwash]

100. "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

"See if you can guess what I am, right now..."

[SidDithers]

150. Was over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

RIP Belushi...

Sid

[tjwash]

154. "Forget it, he's rolling..."

"Tell me, what kind of a fraternity would pledge a, 'man' like you?"

[tjwash]

155. "No offense, but we do better when we don't have any........help"

US Marshals

[EnfantTerrible]

95. ...Hold it between your kneeeeeees.

Jack Nicholson

Five Easy Pieces

:evilgrin:


Myrna Loy: "...oh we're all like that on my father's side"

William Powell: "How is your father's side?"

The Thin Man

[WI_DEM]

97. "Round up the usual suspects"

or "Louie, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."

[Hello_Kitty]

99. "Lighten up, Francis"

From "Stripes".

[Phillycat]

142. A lot of people painted that on their plywood during Hurricane

Francis. I found that funny. :)

[TahitiNut]

101. Ben Jabituya : "I am sporting a tremendous woody."

In the movie Short Circuit, played by Fisher Stevens.
Or ...

Ben Jabituya : "I am thinking she is a virgin. Or at least she used to be."
Ben Jabituya : "With excitement like this, who is needing enemas?"

[qnr]

113. heheheh I thought his lines were hilarious

[WillyT]

102. "I've Never Seen A Man More In Need Of A Blow Job In My Entire Life!"

From 'Good Morning Vietnam'.

:bounce:

[tjwash]

104. Hey kids -- here’s a present for you! Be sure to run real fast with it!

The Grinch after handing some kids a hacksaw.

[argyl]

107. "I'm on my fucking lunch break here!" Billy Bob Thornton ,"Bad Santa"

[PurityOfEssence]

108. "Lord, I've been a sinner all my days...now you're gonna fuck me."

from "Semi-Tough", written by Walter Bernstein, Dan Jenkins and Ring Lardner, Jr.; directed by Michael Ritchie.

The line was brilliantly delivered by the inimicable Robert Preston, playing the character Big Ed Bookman.

[Chomskyite]

115. From guess what movie?

Henry Hill : That's the way it is with a wiseguy partner. He gets his money no matter what. You got no business? Fuck you, pay me. You had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning? Fuck you, pay me.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

122. Goodfellas, of course. What, am I a clown, to amuse you?

[non sociopath skin]

116. From "Magnolia," "We may think we're through with the past ...

... but the past sure ain't through with us."

Ain't it the truth?

The Skin

[Mike Niendorff]

117. A few more classics from Fight Club:

"And now a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?"

"How's that working out for you? Being clever?"

"Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo."

"Ok, I got it, I got it ... shit, I lost it."

"I am Jack's smirking revenge."


MDN

[tjwash]

131. FC was full of great one liners...

"Marla was like that cut on the roof of your mouth that would go away if you'd stop tonguing it, but you can't."

"I can't get married. I'm a 30 year old boy."

"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

"One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items......If one were so inclined."

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

"We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession."

"I've been going to Debtor's Anonymous. You want to see some really fucked-up people..."

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

123. "The FALL'll probably kill you!"

Butch Cassidy, after being informed by Sundance that he can't swim, upon contemplating escape via jumping from a huge cliff into water...

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

124. "I want to party with you, cowboy!"

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

125. No money. But when you die, you will achieve total consciousness.

So I've got THAT going for me. Which is nice.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

126. What was the rest of this line from your poll? Very familiar, but I can't

come up with the movie or the rest of the line. I know it's something I've seen really recently, either in the theater or on TV.


Peter: My God, we're such nerds. Here we are, trying to look up

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

127. It's from Office Space

"Trying to look up 'money laundering' in the dictionary"

[tjwash]

132. Self delete

nt

[dryan]

134. Get shorty!

Karen to Chili - "I spent the whole day crawling out of a grave!"
I loved that line so much I used to include it on my answering machine!

[dryan]

135. Get shorty!

Karen to Chili - "I spent the whole day crawling out of a grave!"
I loved that line so much I used to include it on my answering machine!

[tjwash]

137. I love everything LA.

(After Ray Bones was asked how he got in):"It was easy. I told 'em I was you, I acted real stupid and they believed me."

[tjwash]

133. "what's happening hot stuff"

16 candles

[TexasBushwhacker]

143. Another from 16 Candles

"I can't believe my grandmother just felt me up."

[guitar man]

140. Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: What knockers!

Inga: Oh, thank you doctor!

<Young Frankenstien>

[SidDithers]

151. Igor, help me with the bags...

Certainly, you take the blonde, I'll get the one in the turban.

Abby something...

Sid

[underpants]

141. "Think you used enough dynamite there Butch?"

-Redford Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

BoooooooooLIVIA!

[Joe Chi Minh]

148. Dudley Moore

and Peter Cook once played a couple of crazy old geezers in a TV series in the UK called No Only But Also.

In one sketch, Peter Cook was pretending he was on the phone to Cubby Broccoli negotiating with him for Dudley to play James Bond in the next film. After a good bit of bargaining, Dud could contain himself no longer and yelled at him, "Tell him I'll do for nothing!".

I saw an American play on the box here, I'm not sure who it was written by, maybe Tennessee Williams - in which a couple of FBI blokes were informally questioning a receptionist in a hotel or boarding house. She said to one of them, "Well now aren't you lucky I'm a just a little old, dumb blonde, because if I was a brunette lady, why I would surely blah, blah,...". I wish I could remember it better, but it was one of the funniest p*ss-takes I've ever heard, before or since. Certainly in terms of words and tone of voice, though content-wise, John Conyers remark on a Larry King show, to an elderly Republican senator, that (in the space of a couple of sentences, I believe) he had made five errors in law, seems like the ultimate one-liner to me. Reluctantly of course, Larry had to ask him what they were, and he duly listed them.

[derby378]

147. From ALIENS...

"Well, maybe you weren't keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!"

Ironically, that'll be the first thing Cheney tells Bush on November 3...

[ProfessorGAC]

149. "He Chose Poorly."

From "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade". The aged Knight of the Templar
The Professor

[CBHagman]

152. "It's even better when you help."

Bacall to Bogart, after their second kiss in "To Have and Have Not."

[mosin]

153. My personal favorite

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them." - John Wayne as John Bernard Books in "The Shootist"

It's always kind of been my personal motto.

Runner-up:

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." - Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya in "The Princess Bride"

The phrase comes in very handy when dealing with clueless people.