Favorite "Family Guy" quote!

[Blue-Jay]

Chris: Dad, what's the blowhole for?

Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

1. "You must BOW to me!"

Little Stewie is so funny.
Duckie

[Blue-Jay]

2. Stewie!

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch."

[YellowRubberDuckie]

6. Oh my god, that's hilarious.

[dolo amber]

3. "Of course a man made it, Lois...

It's a TV commercial, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner..."

:D

[Blue-Jay]

7. My favorite chauvinism from Peter:

"Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man."

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. Favorite quote-stealer.

x(

[mac56]

4. Mine:

"Tom, you're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents."

and

"For God's sake, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!"

[Silver249]

5. "Eric if you're in here we're all going to Marty's after the movie"

[Marnieworld]

36. Yes!

That was the best!

[AndyP]

8. "no, cook dinner anyway Loise

We'll just throw it out, I don't want you to get rusty."

[AndyP]

9. "oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no

(then the kool-aid man jumps in and says) OH YEAH!!!!

[StlMo]

35. Then, the Kool-Aid Man backs out in awkward silence.

Damn, that's good stuff.

[AndyP]

39. that was on the first episode

At least the first one that I saw. I remember *rolling* on the floor laughing so hard my sides hurt.

[barackmyworld]

46. I love that scene!!

[Blue-Jay]

11. Brian & the German tour guide.

German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.

Brian: Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.

Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...

Brian: Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...

Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.

Brian: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.

Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.

Brian: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.

Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. (You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany.)
<throws his hand up in a Hitler salute>

Brian: ...uh, is that a beer hall?

Tour guide: Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

[DS1]

12. Well, I suppose it wasn't technically my first act of violence

That would be the timebomb I left in your womb, happy 50th biiirthday, Lois.

[democracy eh]

13. Quagmire - oh yeah

Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.

Quagmire (runs outside in a robe): Hey guys, what's going on? I was just jerki ... ed out of a deep sleep.

Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!

Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up half way through.

Quagmire: Hey there Gorgeous, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18?
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I Like where this is goin'!

[russian33]

14. 'You want me to wack a guy? Off a guy? Wack off a guy?"

Or the one I saw just last night again:

"Look at all the trash the New Yorkers left! New York Post, New York Magazine, New York Mets!!"

[tedoll78]

15. "I love pancakes!"

"Good news, Slappy - I've decided not to KILL you!"

[TlalocW]

16. Family is visiting India I believe...

Anyway, Peter is riding an elephant.

Look Lois! The two symbols of the republican party - an elephant and a fat, white guy afraid of change!

TlalocW

[bleedingheart]

19. that's a good one

wish i had seen it

[KDLarsen]

25. IIRC, it was in their backyard..

.. Peter trying to throw a party - I was gonna name that one though :D

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

As for you, kind sage, I only hope my heartfelt thanks will keep you warm

as you spend the next ten years in frozen carbonite!

[mac56]

17. Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party:

An elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change.

Add on edit: Damn! TlalocW beat me by a minute!

[Blue-Jay]

18. On toilet training...

Peter: I'm looking for some toilet training books.

Salesman: We have the popular 'everybody poops", or the less popular 'nobody poops but you'.

Peter: Well, you see, we're catholic...

Salesman: Ah, then you'll want 'you're a naughty, naughty boy, and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you'.

[sniffa]

20. oooh the Leaves are so coLorfuL

they're red Like a stop sign... yeLLow Like a taxi cab... brown Like the peopLe i don't pick up in my taxi cab.

[underpants]

21. Okay I really have to watch the first season DVD my wife bought me

but I can only do it when she isn't home the constant laughing gets on her nerves after a while.

Not a quote.

[Blue-Jay]

24. That's a wonderful gift!

[democracy eh]

26. thank the heavens my wife is into the Family Guy too

I don't know if I could be clandestine about it

[Blue-Jay]

22. At the Catholic church...

Peter: Wow, is that really the blood of Christ?

Priest: Yes, it is.

Peter: Holy crap, that guy must've been wasted 24 hours a day.

[DelawareValleyDem]

23. There is a message

in my Alpha Bits. It says OOOOOO
Peter, those are Cheerios

[Blue-Jay]

27. Star Trek:

Kirk: Now men, we are about to go on a very dangerous mission. It is highly likely that one of you will die. The crew that will go with me are Spock, McCoy and Ensign Ricky.

Ensign Ricky: Aw crap.

[UpsideDownFlag]

28. best. line. ever: "why did the dinosaurs go extinct?"

"because you touch yourself at night."

[Blue-Jay]

29. Stewie "discovers" himself:

Stewie: They're getting nude! I mustn't watch, it's not the proper thing to... Wow! I say, nice ones, Janine! And look at Lisa in all of her curvaceous glory! Heavens, it appears that my weewee has been stricken with rigor mortis!

[3rdParty]

30. how about these....

Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle i find, i shall KILL you.


Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!


Peter: My son here is gonna be the best thing to happen in New York since Mayor Giuliani had all the homeless people secretly killed.


Meg: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well, that would just leave England.


Peter: Fox has one of those new reality shows at eight, 'Fast animals, slow children.'

[StlMo]

31. As already noted, "For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you"

As already noted, "For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you" is one of the best.

[Kid_A]

32. Quagmire's world collapsing:

Peter: "If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?"
Quagmire: "Taylor Hanson."
Joe: "Taylor Hanson is a guy."
Quagmire : "You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter: "No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire."
Quagmire: "What? That's insane. That's impossible."

Quagmire : "Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god."

Or Peter's bumper sticker after getting in touch with his feminine side: "MY OTHER PENIS IS A VAGINA."

[Yavin4]

44. Road To Rhode Island Ep.

Classic Episode. Classic musical number at the end. There was one line in the song that probably has a story behind it:

"Like a couple of Harvard freshmen who were expelled and forced to go to Brown".

Is there some kind of story behind that line?

[barackmyworld]

47. yes there is

that brown sucks.

[furrylitldevil]

33. Jesus:

"Watch as I turn this water...into FUNK!"

[Marnieworld]

34. "There's an evil monkey living in my closet"

I lose it everytime they show that monkey. My husband and I frequently do that pointing to eachother. God I love that show!

[HEyHEY]

37. "What? I said runt."

[StlMo]

38. Brian Griffin: "I've been to New York. It's like Prague, sans the whimsy."

[Johnny 99]

40. How interesting. Rogers. Almost rhymes with...eliminate.

n/t

[Deja Q]

41. After watching the Price is Right and Bob Barker reminds everybody to

get their pet spayed or neutered, Brian says "Oh just die already!"

[Deja Q]

42. Stewie gets potty-trained and Peter buys a book:

"You're a Bad Boy and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out of You!" (aimed at the Catholics.)

[Yavin4]

43. Interesting Facts About Seth MacFarlane

1.) He's a Kucinich Liberal.

2.) He was late and missed one of the flights out of Boston that was invovled in the attack on New York on 9/11.

[bbernardini]

45. "IT'S GON' RAIN!!!"

From the "Black-U-Weather Forecast". Makes me hysterical every time.

[Richardo]

49. Cleveland: "They brought the noise, but they phoned in the funk."

or something like that.

[maveric]

48. Peter: "I even got a big ass pinata"(pinata shaped like an ass).

Brian: "I hope that candy comes out of there".