aaarrrggghhhh teenagers

[mopinko]

if you agree with that statement, i am here to tell you that SOMETIMES it gets better.
the middle child of my 5, and the middle of my 3 teenagers is a bright, beautiful, bipolar girl. she has been a nightmare for the last 5 years. out of control behavior, boyfriends from hell, school failure, cutting, hospitalization, doctors from hell. aaarrggghhh.
but she is finally coming around. her meds are stable and good. we got her into a therapeutic day school that is really wonderful.
i talked to her social worker today. they need to find some independent study projects for her, because she finishes her regular work too quickly. they have her tutoring some other students, but she is still in need of more to do. everyone at the school is crazy about her. the social worker says she looks forward to her sessions with her, which is why she is scheduled on mondays. they are doing a play, so that will take up a lot of her time. you could tell it was a pleasant dilemma for the social worker to think up a challenging project for her.
i home schooled this kid for 8 years, and the nightmare stated when we sent her to regular school. i felt like i had utterly failed. but seeing her now, wow, am i proud of her. i guess i did some things right after all.

[WLKjr]

1. I don't think that is a thing that sticks around for long

I have a good friend that was bi polar and he went through some crazy times too, even got taken out of school it got so bad. The dude is super smart and is in college now. I saw him the other day, says he hasn't been on meds for a long time now and feels great. Says the whole episode of his life during that time was wierd.

[mopinko]

5. not unusual

in adolescence. doesn't mean that it wasn't bp, although it could have been a misdiagnosis. but there are lots of such cases out there.

[Dookus]

2. good for you

I can't begin to imagine the difficulties and pain involved.

Drama will be great for her. Being in a play DOES take a lot of time and effort, and it has a great sort of non-competitive drive for achievement.

How old is she? Is she old enough to volunteer anywhere, say a hospital or senior home?

[mopinko]

4. she is 17

and old enough for something like that. she would like to do something with animals. she still holds out hope of being a vet, which she has always wanted to do.

she has been in plays before, and has always been great, and worked hard. we knew we had found the right place for her when she came home her first day all happy because they told her they do a play every year.

[Dookus]

9. cool...

It'd be nice if she did some work with people. Unfortunately, being an animal lover and being a vet are often contradictory ideals. Putting down animals or seeing suffering animals isn't that rewarding for people who love veterinary simply because it involves animals.

She sounds like me as a teenager - I loved drama, but I was alternately suicidal and riding high. Of course, back then we didn't have names or treatments for such a condition. I was a wreck until I had some success at drama.

It sounds like she's a tender person with a great heart, and prone to sensitivity. That's not bad, and it shouldn't be broken. Things like drama will boost her self-esteem and help her find her way.

My heart breaks when I hear about sensitive kids struggling, because I was one of them. It's nearly unbearable to be a teenager under the best of circumstances, and to be one who really feels things strongly is especially tough.

Does she plan to go to college? I hope so, because I've seen SO many kids who struggle through high-school flourish in a more open, accepting environment.

[mopinko]

10. she is just starting to talk about college in a serious way

she will do just great. here in chicago, she has so many choices. so she it thinking she will do 2 years at home, then go away, to cornell or columbia, ny. (depending on what she settles on studying.)
high school sucks. school sucks in general, but high school especially. here they have been pounding on math and science programs. but so many kids really, really need the arts. they are talking about several new charter schools, and there is some lip service so far about arts high schools. but it is a crime that there is not a single public arts high school in chicago. just a high priced private one, and a couple of magnet programs, where you have to have high test scores and grades to get in. then they wonder why they have so many dropouts.
art saves lives.

[Dookus]

11. I agree

and it breaks my heart when I hear how much art, music and drama are neglected these days.

Not every kid thrives in science, math or history. There needs to be other options. My savior was Drama and foreign languages. I took French, German, Italian and Spanish in my senior year of high school. Few kids today would be offered that luxury.

We also had dedicated art, chorus and music teachers in our schools, and they were required parts of the curriculum at least through Junior High. Not anymore, and that's a damned shame.

[mopinko]

12. Not every kid thrives in science, math or history.

and even those that do, need to grow the other parts of their brains. that is how i taught them at home. not learning to take tests, but learning to grow a healthy, multifaceted brain. they teach this shit in teachers colleges, but it just doesn't seem to reach the classroom.

[Infomaniac]

3. A website

My, now 12 year old, SD was evaluated for bi-polar disorder in 2003. My husband and I read the Bipolar Child and got some very helpful information from the Child and Adolescent Bi-polar Disorder website. SD has never had a manic episode so the P-doc was reluctant to diagnose BPD. SD is on 100 mg Zoloft now and has been for over a year. No manic episode. The P-doc suspects major depressive disorder, which is a mood disorder like BPD. I can so relate to the hospitalizations, social workers and doctors from hell. I'm delighted that your daughter is stabilized and doing well.

[mopinko]

6. it is so hard in kids

they are so different from adult presentations. that is a very good book. one of the things that has helped my daughter is their recommendation of 1 gram of cold water fish oil a day. i'm not a real holistic medicine believer, but that one is thoroughly tested, and no downside.

[Infomaniac]

8. I remember the fish oil.

There are a number of families that we have met on our journey through the mental health system who swear by it. My SD also has a relatively rare anxiety disorder that masks a lot of her symptoms outside of her mom's and our house. It's a real picnic for some of the social workers trying to figure out what's going on when SD rarely speaks to them.

[ironflange]

7. We have one of those

She's almost 14, diagnosed as bipolar 5 years ago. She's quite stable now, thanks to Celexa, Risperdal, and lots of generic Tegritol. Rarely goes manic, more often goes into a down period. Bright, smart, really funny girl, charms the pants off anybody she meets. "Touched with fire," she is a terrific actor, singer, dancer, and artist. We're extremely proud of her. She has NEVER fit in to regular school, we finally pulled her out 1 1/2 years ago and are now homeschooling. She sees a psychiatrist every couple of weeks, that helps a lot. We were very lucky to catch it early, I've seen what can happen when it gets away. :scared: I have a cousin, 40ish, who is seriously screwed up with bipolar.

Funny thing is, she's proud to be bipolar, she seems to see it as the source of her talent. She figures that being normal is boring.

We're glad to see other success stories, like yours. Congrats!

[mopinko]

13. sometimes home is the best

she is lucky that you can do this. we hung on for 8 years, but i just had to have my life back. but there are lots of kids that just don't fit into the factory schools. they are such artificial environments, that it is hard to argue that surviving that environment has anything to do with succeeding in the real world.
your kid sounds great. you are lucky that you did not have to sort out- is this just teenage bs, or is it something more. that was the tough part for us.
keep up the good work.

[sffreeways]

14. my partner is bipolar

out of nowhere after 10 years of being together my very pleasant, calm, polite, sweet, lovable, French, woman became a monster from hell. The gyn gave her prozac and told her she had depression. I don't know if you're familiar with what happens when you give someone with bipolar disorder prozac but it's bad...BAD ! It kept getting worse and worse and I didn't know what was wrong with her. I knew she wasn't depressed. She was mean and untrustworthy and wreckless and it was ruining every aspect of our lives. She turned on me so bad and it broke my heart I loved her so much.

She finally got a psychiatrist and told him all kinds of lies and he shut me out. She lied compulsively and to everyone for no reason. No one knew what was really happening but they all blamed me. I was too controlling, I was too clingly, it was all me and she was the poor put apon soul that I was making depressed. I couldn't tell them about the mania which is absolutely vital because the patient often won't tell them about it because they don't realize it. He pumped up the prozac even more and she started cutting and became suicidal.

We finally separated but I stuck it out and I begged and begged her to change doctors. We ended up leaving the west coast and I sent her home to her parents in France. They got her a psychiatrist who recognized the severe bipolar disorder and started her on some really good medications. A few months later after 2 years of horror the love of my life came out of it and was completely herself again only better.

She was devestated when she realized the hell I'd been through but now our relationship has never been so loving and so strong. I'm lucky, we both are that she found a good doctor and she has no problem with her meds. Sometimes, pretty often it's a problem that they go off the medication because they think they are better and they miss the mania. Not my babe, it was so horrible and she suffered so much she knows she will need those meds for the rest of her life. This doctor saved her life. And she is so courageous she worked so hard to get better. I don't know what I would do without her. She's always there for me.

I hear stories like yours and I know what you've been through and I have to tell you I admire you and your child I have a deep admiration and appreciation because I know the suffering you've been through.

Bipolar disorder is terrible and it takes a very strong person to stick it out with the person afflicted by it. You must be an amazingly loving devoted parent and I'm sure you have a very very special child. For some reason it seems to affect the most intelligent gentle people and it takes such courage to get through it. Bless you and your daughter for your courage and love and strength. I love to hear stories of people that overcome this. You are indeed a wonderful person and parent.