DUers, we're writing a movie script. Right here. Right now!

[Catch22Dem]

Here's the deal. This can get as off the wall as you like, but it must follow the poster before you. Now, I understand some posts will be made at the same time which will cause the "script" to go in two different directions, but that's OK, as long as they follow the post above them.

---

Act 1 / Scene 1:
Bush and Rove in the study at the Western White House.

Bush: Karl, this swiftboat deal is gettin' a little out of control, dontcha thank?

Rove: Don't worry about it Mr. President. You just do what you always do. Remain aloof and clumsy. Try to be a regular guy. The less you know the better.

Bush: But Karl, you and Tom and them are telling me that fucking McCain is talking about publically dropping his support of my re-election bid. How the hell do you think that's going to look?

Rove: Listen, Mr. President, McCain will do no such thing. He's fully aware of the consequences. He hasn't forgotten our little conversation from 2000.

Bush: Oh, that...

Rove: And besides, if he does, we'll go public. We can also start-up the "lost his mind" and "brainwashing" shit again. It was easy then, it'll be easier now. I mean, imagine a Republican Senator voting for a Democrat presidential nominee. Fucking insane. He'd be finished.

Bush: Oh, come on. We got Zell Miller to do it. It's not that unheard of.

Rove: Yeah, well Senator Miller also remembers the little "conversation" we had a couple of years ago. Besides, he's already through. His party doesn't give a shit about him and ours doesn't either. He's just a "D" in the "R" column. Looks good on paper. You really think I'd let that liberal piece of shit have any real influence with our election?

Bush: Karl, listen. You know I trust you. You really are the best at what you do...

Enter member of Bush's housekeeping staff

Bush: ...*clears throat* Hey there sweet britches. Mind topping off this drink for me? Little ice...lotsa Makers.

Slaps woman on the ass and gives a little squeeze.

Woman rolls her eyes and mouthes 'fuck you asshole' on her way out of the study.

Bush: ...as I was saying, you're as evil as they come. Trust me, that's a compliment. I just don't want this thing to unravel. Hell I even heard Fox News had a couple of people on the air rebutting the Swiftboat vets.

Rove: I've already taken care of that, Mr. President. The producer of Fox News Sunday has already been..."reassigned"...to the field. He leaves this very evening for Najaf for some, shall we say, "on the scene exclusives." Well, the sumbitch always said he missed fieldwork.

[jeff30997]

1. Ok...

Bush: Karl,I...I love you buddy...

Rove: Mr. President, I think you should go easy on the bottle...

Bush: Hey,It's only my second bottle of bourbon this morning.

Rove: Sir,you should be careful or...

Bush: Or what ? If I fall flat on my face,you know what to do !

Rove: Of course.I tell the media that you choked on a pretzel again.

[joanne]

2. Scene 2

"I'm expecting Andy any minute now. He should have the latest poll numbers." said Rove.

"I'm still worried about this Slow Boat thing," Bush said while munching on a pretzel.

"That's SWIFT boat not SLOW boat, Mr President. When will you ever get that right?"

Just then Andy Card walks in.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr President. I've got those poll numbers you have been waiting for."

"What the hell took you so long?" Rove screamed. "You think I have nothing better to do than wait for you?"

He grabbed the papers from Card.

"This cant be right!!" Rove was screaming even louder than before. "Kerry cant possibly be leading in Texas!!!"

Just then Bush began choking on his pretzel.

[realisticphish]

3. Rove's brain churns

"...could we say john kerry sent the pretzel?"

card brightens.."that could work"

(bush thrashes around)

rove's face falls

"no, if we allow this, then DICK will be president...and only satan himself controls that nutjob"

card jumps onto bush's chest, propelling the pretzel bit to the ceiling

[jeff30997]

4. Later...

Porter Goss enters the oval office...

Bush: Hi Partier.So,what's new with Operation Flintstone?

Goss: Everything is ready sir.

Bush: I can't wait till that scumbag is dead!

Goss: Yes,he have made a fool of us long enough.This time he won't escape.

Bush: Go ahead,make my day!

Goss: Yes Sir.Michael Moore is a dead man!

Bush: Bwaaahahahahaaaaaaaah!!!

[joanne]

5. Act 2

Rove: Time for your cabinet meeting, Mr President."

Bush" "Cant we postpone it? I got an awful headache and my throat hurts. Have you choked on a pretzel lately?" He was pouring himself another drink.

Rove: "No sir. And I think you have had more than enough to drink for one day!"

Bush: "Can't help it, Karl. I really am worried, more worried than you will ever know. We are behind Kerry in almost every state now. Even Texas! The Slow Boat vets havent helped us at all. In fact it's making things worse for us! We are going to have to resort to bigger and better things. Otherwise we are going to have to steal...."

Rove: "Will you quit babbling and let me worry about those things? You leave those things with me. Right now we have a lot of work to do."

Bush: "Tell me about it. Here it is the 22nd of August and I have only had 17 days vacation this month! It's killing me! No wonder I have to drink so much. I need a rest. And so does Laura. She's barely speaking to me these days."

Rove: "I can assure you Laura will be one happy lady in November. I havent told you yet what my latest plans are. Great plans. You'll love it! You'll get the details soon. Right now we have a meeting to get to. Let's go."

As Bush got up to go to his meeting he thought "Little do you know, Karl", thinking of his meeting earlier with Porter.

[newdealer]

6. Casting

we should think what actor would be suitable for each role.
Possible Bush casting: Al Franken, Don Knots?

[bloodyjack]

7. Scene 1, continued

Bush.
Wait a minute. You said something about his being "reassigned"? What is that supposed to mean? Did you have him fall down a long, winding flight of stairs or something? Attacked by a swarm of African killer bees? Pushed out of a helicopter? off a really high cliff? off the Brooklyn Bridge? Was there any sort of...pushing action involved here? Reassignment...

Bush pauses about half a minute to think. He is apparently thinking very hard

Bush.
Has he...uh...been reassigned to...well, you know...THE GREAT HEREAFTER

Rove.
No, George. You're being silly, George. What have Don and I told you about being silly in public places? Don't touch that, George, spoons don't go there unless you're a HOMO.

Bush.
HOMOS?? Bush jumps out of his seat, searches under the table, eyes the other patrons in the restaurant Where? Who? I bet it's THOSE guys over there, ain't it.

Rove.
Can't you see you're confusing the help?

Bush.
Warily takes his seat. Oh. Sorry.

Rove.
Now to answer your question...How do I phrase this properly? I guess we could just say...

Bush.
What question?

Rove.
...He's been...Slaps forehead. Your question about Chris Wallace's REASSIGNMENT, George.

Bush.
Uh, yeah...

Rove.
Are we all caught up now?

Bush.
Uh, yeah...

Rove.
Now, to answer your question...I guess you could say our mutual friend
Chris Wallace has been...

Bush.
His eyes light up. Are we going to tape him next week getting his noggin knocked off...

Rove.
...'Surplussed'.

Bush.
...By a few token masked camel fuckers in their fake Nikes who shout ALAWAKBER and get all HALAL on his pessimistic ass? People like seeing that sort of shit. I know I do.

Rove.
I know, George.

-----------------------------

That's all I got at this hour. Nice idea!

[onebigbadwulf]

8. Are you taking this from EBOLAWORLD?

This script has already been done in flash.

http://www.ebolaworld.com/mainpage02.html