Failed Olympian Excuses are Frighteningly Familiar.

[HarveyBriggs]

ATHENS -- As more and more American athletes fail to meet the expectations set for them in this year's Olympics, a haunting theme appears running through the various locker rooms as they as the athletes adopt the new American pastime: making excuses for their miserable failures.

Accordiing to sources who asked not to be named, Philadelphia basketball star Allen Iverson is alleged to have said, "Sure I went cold shooting, but can you imagine what Al Gore would have done in my place?"

Along the same lines, Texan Tim Duncan is supposed to have reported, "Point deficit? What point deficit? You're talking fuzzy math there."

According the same source, Coach Larry Brown chimed in, "I did not freeze up during that seven minute scoring drought. Just because I was reading from "My Pet Goat," instead of the playbook doesn't mean I didn't know what to do. I did not want it to appear to my team that I was panicking!"

The familiar bittersweet flavor of sour grapes was also heard from the U.S. Men's gymnastic team.

According to the alleged source speaking for the group, Olympic Pommel Horse Veterans for Truth, "The Japanese Men's Gymnastic Team did not earn their medals." They went on to say, "We may not be in the same boat as these guys, but we did serve time on the Pommel Horse in 9th-grade gym class once, and we know that the judges did not get the whole story."

Another PHVFT member chimed in, "The Japanese team won and the head Judge was a Japanese man. You figure what happened. If George Bush's brother, Jeb, were in charge of the voting, you can be sure we would have won."

One American Olympic official went on the record to say, "Were pushing to have the whole new American sport of excuse making made a medal sport by 2008. We're good at it. It's based on our President's strong faith and his god-like ability to turn sour grapes into an incredible whine."


Bush strategist, Karl Rove, refused to comment on rumors that he has already been named to coach the new team.

Harvey Briggs

[peekaloo]

Sweet!

Thanks for the larf Harvey.

[Dogmudgeon]

1. Oh ... it's SATIRE!

I thought it was the real thing for a minute there.

And that's the scary part!

--bkl

[DinahMoeHum]

2. Methinks this thread belongs in the Lounge. . .

:evilgrin:

[chuck555]

3. The Olympics died....

long ago. No wonder no one wants to see them.

Olympics were always a fraud anyway. It was the 'gentlemen " of the 19th century that thought it up. They forbade pro athletes so as not to be shown up.

In the 60's and 70's there was some real drama and fair play.

Money always ruins everything. That is what it is now.

[HarveyBriggs]

4. It's satire, you unmorless moron.

About Bush's weak excuses., But like some dead-headed, humorless moron, you had to go and get this post killed.

You got the thread killed.

JERK!

I guess we can only have political cartoons in the GD section, because without the funny drawings, you're too stupid to realize its commentary on the election.


Harvey Briggs