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BigBigBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 10:22 PM
Original message
Another brutal day
My move from old house to new house is about 93% complete - all the furniture, all my wife's clothes and possessions, all our rafting gear, my music and computer stuff, all the kitchen stuff. I have pictures still on the wall and some odds and ends left at the old place; I'll probably meet my midnight Saturday night deadline, just barely.

The move has taken me 12 days thus far in my exhausted '97 Dodge Dakota - 35 trips or more. My headlights are failing and my front end is grinding.

I still have a trailer and two other vehicles (one with a $950 repair bill waiting) to deal with. And a ton of patio furniture.

Today, I went down to her office, which has been rented to someone else starting Saturday. It's a beautiful space, overlooking the green slopes of the Front Range foothills. I took down her favorite print - a Mangelson photo of two 'dancing' polar bears - and disconnected her computer and salvaged a handful of little stuffed bears, mostly from flower deliveries I had sent her over the years. Postcards from Prague that her parents had mailed her, their greetings in scribbled Czech. A flower vase with a little note "Thanks for a great trip", something I sent her after one of our weeklong raft trips, years ago. I don't remember which one, because they were ALL great trips.

Twelve days of taking down pictures, packing her beautiful clothes, stuffing 30 year old pictures of her as a teenager into boxes, throwing out dead flowers...I just fell exhausted into one of her office chairs and fell apart.

Moving - not done yet. But emotionally, spiritually, psychically, I'm absolutely done.

When the dust settles and the boxes are unpacked and I'm 'living' in my new place, it will hit me. I can feel it coming, it's close now.

The best thing that ever happened to me is over, my wife and best friend is gone forever. I'm finished.

Thx for listening.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 10:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. ...
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
2. Check your inbox
:hug:
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loathesomeshrub Donating Member (669 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 10:29 PM
Response to Original message
3. I am so sorry....There are no words to say to you....You will be in our
prayers....
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
4. I can only imagine what a horrific time this is for you.
What a terrible loss to have to endure.

Love and healing light to you, my brother.

:hug:
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 10:57 PM
Response to Original message
5. It's going to be that way for a while
Just keep reaching out to us so we can hug you and tell you it's gonna be OK.

:grouphug:
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Red State Rebel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
6. Your pain and grief are palpable
It breaks my heart to hear about you going thru this terrible ordeal. There are no words to make it better or make it go away, just know that we are all here - thinking about you and we care.

Hopefully soon a day will dawn that just a bit brighter than the last and will set you on the road to healing.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 11:41 PM
Response to Original message
7. oh man i'm so sorry
:hug:
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 11:52 PM
Response to Original message
8. we care, brother
know it's not enough, & won't be for some time, but we are here for you.
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Mara Steele Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-28-04 11:57 PM
Response to Original message
9. I'm so sorry to hear of your situation and of your grief

Your post is so heartbreaking, I feel for you and wish you only the best.

You are in my prayers

Peace to you....

Mara
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Jade Fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-29-04 12:00 AM
Response to Original message
10. Under your circumstances, moving....
which always stirs up old memories, must be particularly difficult. I wish
you the best, and hope things will get better soon.
:hug:
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