I just nearly ran over a man dressed as a giant chicken

[flamingyouth]

I was coming home from getting a massage, so I was in that very mellow post-massage headspace you get. I was listening to the Sahara Hotnights and loudly and tunelessly singing along to "With Or Without Control," when all of a sudden, I see this flash of yellow darting into the street.

I slam on my brakes - groceries flying everywhere - and see the creepy visage of a giant chicken-man staring into my windshield at me. It was so insane, I almost screamed. I felt like I was in a David Lynch movie. Car, driver and giant chicken man were all unharmed, fortunately.

It occured to me, however, that nothing normal ever happens to me; no, it couldn't just be an unobservant random jaywalker that I almost hit. In my bizarre life, it has to be a guy dressed as fucking poultry.

I'm just kind of shaking from it. Just thinking of how I was *this* close to being one of matcom's stories in the Lounge.:eyes:

[theivoryqueen]

1. unobservant random jaywalker - DRESSED AS A CHICKEN!!!!

that is truly inspired surrealism. Don't fret about future "why did the chicken walk in front of your car" jokes.

[amazona]

2. life is a David Lynch movie

Glad you got away safely. Nothing normal ever happens to me either so I can sympathize.

[Fenris]

3. Who hasn't been there before?

[Mara Steele]

4. OMG. Lisa

How frightening! But LOL, this is the funniest subject line I've seen in a while...

Forgive my laughter... :hug: :yourock:

Glad everything turned out OK, though.

(Maybe it was some kind of sign, hm?? :D)

[Pale Blue Dot]

5. He wasn't a jaywalker!

He was just trying to get to the other side!

Sorry... :spank:

[Lin]

6. "Almost" screamed? I'm screaming now- glad you & feathered friend ok<eom>e

[Nomad559]

7. Chicken Man

Is this the chicken man you almost hit. :evilgrin:

Right click and 'Save Target as"
http://www.zippyimages.com/files/85614/clip_212.swf

[GOPisEvil]

8. So, uh, why was the guy in a chicken suit?

:shrug:

[Pale Blue Dot]

9. Maybe he thought it would be a novel way...

to pick up attractive Seattle women?

[flamingyouth]

12. That must have been it

Ass-kisser!:loveya:

[Pale Blue Dot]

22. You know something? You are a very intelligent woman.

That's amazing how you picked up on my ass-kissing right away! :evilgrin:

So, did chicken man offer to bring you home to the roost? :D

[flamingyouth]

28. No, but I think he was coming onto me with his giant googly eyes

I feel dirty.:scared:

[GOPisEvil]

29. Great googly moogly!

:scared:

[Pale Blue Dot]

33. You know the worst part?

Chickens are girls!

[flamingyouth]

35. Well, there's nothing wrong with that

[Pale Blue Dot]

41. Yeah, but this was a chicken MAN

Clearly he has issues that he needs to work out before you agree to have his chicks. :evilgrin:

[Fenris]

10. And was he a SUBSERVIENT chicken?

;)

http://www.subservientchicken.com/

Don't click...you've been there before.:D

[flamingyouth]

11. Sad to admit, yes, it's true

I made the chicken do bad things.:cry:

[Fenris]

15. Bad Lisa! BAD!

:D:D:D:D

[flamingyouth]

19. That's me, but I can't help myself

:loveya:

[Fenris]

21. That's why I love you!

:loveya:

[flamingyouth]

23. Because I'm bad, but at least I'm an attentive driver

And I always keep my brakes in top-notch condition. :loveya:

[Fenris]

24. Hell on wheels, baby!

Attentive, respectful, and polite Hell on wheels!:D:loveya:

[flamingyouth]

31. I think I need to paint some flames ont the sides of my Volvo

:D

[Mara Steele]

17. He was trying to frighten our poor Lisa....

Like, isn't it obvious??!.

...it's all clearly an evil plot to drive her insane... :D

...The next step in the deranged absurdity will be when she meets me :D :evilgrin:

...That will be the clincher, heh heh heh... :evilgrin:

[ET Awful]

13. I'm sorry, but that is the funniest damned thing I've seen all day. . .

I can just picture my own reaction to a giant chicken staring at me through the windshield after I almost turned him into a chicken salad.

[jdonaldball]

14. So why is Foghorn Leghorn feeling suicidal these days?

[Fenris]

18. He lost his job in the Bush administration.

[iconoclastic cat]

16. Go back to that intersection with a net and bottle of BBQ sauce.

"Here, chicky, chicky..." (smack lips)

[flamingyouth]

20. Seattle DUers - fresh chicken at 50th and Roosevelt

Right near Scarecrow Video!:D

[iconoclastic cat]

25. FY, you really must write your memiors some day.

Your life should be a novel. Or a movie.

[flamingyouth]

26. I think so too

But David Lynch and George Romero have done it so well...:shrug:

[iconoclastic cat]

36. Who had his/her post removed?

I missed it. Poor manners?

[flamingyouth]

38. No, I just posted a dupe by mistake and removed it

Everyone's on his and her best behavior in here!:D

[Name removed]

27. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[name not needed]

30. You could have killed me

:D

[CanuckAmok]

32. Fowl play is suspected.

Good lord. Well, did you at least find out why he was crossing the road?

[TroubleMan]

34. Why did the Chicken Man cross the road?

nt.

[oxymoron]

37. Let me guess...

Capital Hill? :evilgrin:

[flamingyouth]

39. No, 50th and Roosevelt - right by Scarecrow Video

:shrug: Weird. You'd think, yeah, Capitol Hill... or even the Ave...

[MissMillie]

40. So...... Why

did the chicken cross the road?