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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 08:22 AM
Original message
Georgie's Report Card
Dear Mr. and Mrs. G.H.W. Bush,

Once again, it is that time of year when we update
the parents of our students on their child's progress,
and we regret to inform you that your son, Georgie,
is not doing as well as we'd hoped and expected when
he embarked on his four-year program at our school.

As you are well aware, Georgie was installed as class
president at the start of the school year, despite the
fact that the majority of his fellow students did not vote
for him. We foresaw problems immediately, but were
assured by several school board members (who, as
we understand it, are friends of your family) that this
would not result in any real difficulty. Unfortunately,
they have been proven wrong.

In the area of scholastic achievement, despite our
best efforts, Georgie is still reading and speaking at
a grade level far below our usual standards. At this
point, we are not sure if his failure to learn is due to
laziness and a lack of ability to apply himself to his
studies, or if he simply lacks the intellectual
capacity to improve in these areas.

His oral presentations to the class are particularly
troubling; it is apparent that Georgie has not read the
necessary materials, and he often simply fabricates
facts to hide this shortcoming. In oral exams, he
tends to repeat the same answers over and over,
e.g. "The economy is good; jobs are on their way,"
indicating a profound failure to keep up with the
Current Events portion of the curriculum.

Georgie also tends to fabricate elaborate stories
about himself - which, admittedly, can sometimes be
very amusing. During a school celebration last May,
he delighted his fellow students by coming to class in
a little "flight suit" (just like the grown-ups wear!), and
had everyone in stitches with his story about the
family dog having eaten his report card from military
pre-school!

On the whole, however, Georgie does not play well
with other children. His "leadership" in the classroom
continues to divide many students, one against the
other. Other study groups, such as our French and
German-language classes, are no longer willing to
cooperate with Georgie's group, even though they
have traditionally done so in the past.

Your son also displays a lack of taking responsibility
for his failings, and seems unable to appreciate the
consequences of his actions. Although he was
provided with the best textbooks on the subjects of
The Economy, Job Creation, The Environment, et
cetera, these books were damaged or completely
destroyed within a matter of months. Georgie insists
that he "inherited" these books in poor condition,
despite all evidence to the contrary. (In fact, these
same textbooks were previously used by one of our
very best students, who actually returned them in
better condition than he found them!)

During his first few weeks with us, Georgie quickly
became part of a group of other "problem students."
Despite warnings, he has consistently befriended
children whom we consider to be "bad elements,"
such as Little Kenny Lay and a foreign-exchange
student named Chalabi. Both of these youngsters
have been expelled from other schools due to their
involvement in cheating other students out of their
lunch money. We feel that these kinds of
relationships can only lead to no good, and hope
that you will advise your child accordingly.

Georgie often displays aggressive behaviour in the
schoolyard, and recently assaulted a student in
another school district, completely unprovoked. When
asked about this incident, Georgie insisted that the
other child was armed and dangerous. When
investigation into the matter proved otherwise,
Georgie changed his story several times: he was just
trying "democratize" the other child, the other child's
school was harboring gang members, and so on.
Quite frankly, his story on this topic has so changed
from week to week, we simply can't trust his word at
all anymore.

Georgie's friends, while not great in number, are very
loyal, but tend to be over-protective. If any of the other
students point out Georgie's failing grades, these
friends simply shout them down and tell them not to
speak at all. When Georgie was summoned to the
principal's office several weeks ago, he insisted that
his "best friend" come with him. We feel that it is in
Georgie's best interest to learn to stand up for
himself; failure to do so could seriously damage his
ability to handle a leadership role in his adult years.

As you are aware, final exams will be held in
November, and Georgie's past performance leads us
to conclude that he will not be able to achieve the
grades necessary to continue on with another
four-year term at our institution.

Yours Truly,

Ms. J.Q. Public, Assistant Principal
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
1. kick
:kick:
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. sent this to my email group
too funny....
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