Texas Man Wakes Up After Operation, PENIS MISSING!

[matcom]

<snip>

DALLAS (Reuters) - An out-of-court settlement has been reached in the case of a North Texas man who woke up from bladder surgery only to find that doctors had amputated his penis without permission, lawyers said on Thursday.



Terms of the out-of-court settlement were not disclosed but Hurshell Ralls, 67, had been seeking over $5 million in a civil suit he filed in Wichita Falls, Texas, against the two doctors who removed his penis. They did not admit to any wrongdoing in the settlement.


The hospital where the surgery was performed was also named in the suit.


Ralls' attorney Steve Briley said that his client was having surgery in 1999 to remove a cancerous bladder, which would likely include the removal of his prostate gland.


He contends that doctors removed Ralls' penis after they mistakenly thought the cancer had spread to the male sex organ. He charged the doctors -- John S. Dryden and Farid Khoury -- with not seeking consent for the penis amputation and negligence.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=573&e=1&u=/nm/20030828/od_nm/penis_dc

[Hubert Flottz]

1. Meat Doktor Bobbitt!

"Oh,,,It's around here somewhere!"

[matcom]

3. is that a Penis in your pocket?

oh wait, ITS NOT! :P

[Hubert Flottz]

5. Can they make him a pouch?

Doktor Bobbitt sez, "Worst Case Of Dicktheoria I ever saw!"

[yankeedem]

2. Tort reform would have only allowed him to recover $250k

Another reason no thinking citizen should ever vote for a candidate who pushes tort "reform".

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

17. Good reason to bookmark this thread!

[GOPisEvil]

18. For you Texans, that's a "NO" vote on Prop. 12 - election day is 9/13.

[eileen from OH]

4. Hell, that's nuthin'

I woke up after an election and my President was gone!

eileen from OH

[foxy]

6. That had to be a hell of a shock

"OUCH" but that an expensive penis don't you think?:(

[matcom]

7. mine is worth GAZILLIONS!

or so i am told :P

:hi: foxy!

[KamaAina]

8. Oh, not *that* Texas man

then again, if it was Bush*, it would have had to be microsrgery :evilgrin:

[matcom]

9. you must mean NANOsurgery

you just must :D

[rock]

10. Bob Peters in here?

No just give haircuts.

[TXlib]

11. He could still have fun

playing eunich to a loving Domme...

:evilgrin:

[Richardo]

13. Apropos quote:

Lycus: If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times; do not fan the girls when they're wet! But you'll never learn, you'll be a eunuch all your life.

Phil Silvers - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)

One of the five funniest movies ever made, IMO.

[monkeyboy]

12. Reminds me of a joke...

...wherein something similar happens to a guy, who goes back in to get his penis back. Standing in the middle of a room with jars with penis's in them, the doctor informs the poor man that his penis has been lost. The guy looks around, points at one of the jars and says "That's OK, just give me that big black one".

[Chuckup]

14. He woke up and said:

I just had a really weird dream, I was dreaming about eating giant hotdogs and when I woke up, my penis was gone!

[Career Prole]

15. And the #1 thing you DON'T want to hear in the recovery room...

"Hey, buddy! Wanna see what the other end of your penis looks like?" :wow:



Tax Cuts For The Very Hung

[GOPisEvil]

16. IT IS NOT ME!

This Texas man has his penis, thankyouverymuch.

[matcom]

20. um

you SURE? :P

[GOPisEvil]

22. Used it this very morning!

Unfortunately, it was just to pee with, but still...

[matcom]

23. yeah but you "sit" anyway

don't you? :D

[GOPisEvil]

24. Only when I've had too much...

:beer: or not enough sleep.

[DS1]

19. Maybe it's a detachable penis?

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

props to King Missile

[WilliamPitt]

21. WHERE'S THE REST OF ME????

:shudder:

[Hubert Flottz]

25. Tales from the cropped!

A man awoke in the hospital several daze after he was in an horrible auto crash! When he looked around the doctor was in the room, so he asked, "Doc how am I doin'?" The doctor walked over and said, "Son, I'm afraid that your Talleywhacker was so badly crushed in the wreck, we had to remove it!" The young man was very very sad about this and he asked the doctor if there was anything they could do for him.

The Doctor said, "Well if you'd just sign these papers, we can go over to the city Zoo and perhaps find a monkey or gorilla donor, who has passed away in the last few daze! We can transplant an animal's member on you that may very closely match the tool you once had!" The Young man said, "That's amazing doc, I'll try anything, go ahead and see what you can find!"

The next morning the doctor showed up at the man's bedside with a grim look on his face and said, "Son they never had a monkey or gorilla donor at the zoo, the only thing they had die was an elephant, but I did bring along it's trunk, just in case! It just might work!" The young man replied, "Well if you think the trunk will work doc, then do the transplant!"

A month later the Young man at home and healing nicely! He was geting the hang of his new whanger and finding it very useful! He could sit in his recliner and reach over and change the channel on the tv set with his tool or pick up his beer with it! He got to wondering one day, how the girls would like his new unit, so he called up an old flame and asked her out!

They met for dinner in a big fancy resturant and were served a fine dinner! They were chatting over dinner, when suddenly something quickly came from beneath the table and grabbed a biscuit and then just as quickly vanished back under the table! The shocked young lady asked, "WOW, what the hell was that?" The young man said he never saw anything and played it all down, and they started to finish dinner!

Just as they were starting to enjoy the meal again, the thing came from beneath the table and swiped another Biscuit and quickly vanished with it too! The young lady Screamed, "I know I saw something this time, now what the HELL was that?" So the young man was forced then to tell her the entire story about his new root!

The young lady was shocked and awed by this strange tale and she said, "Doctors these daze can do some amazing things, would you mind showing me your tool at regular speed, I've gotta see that thang?" The young man replied, "Well, I'd love to show it to you, but right now I don't think I have room up my arse for another biscuit!"

[GregW]

26. Hmmm ... this is just what I felt like after 10 years of marriage ...

:eyes:

[nuxvomica]

27. This is why I use homeopathy

Nuff said.