Realistic Headlines You'd Like To See In The Coming Weeks

[arwalden]

Plame Investigation Expands: Bush Primary Suspect

[olddem43]

1. Bush, Cheney Impeached!

Election no longer in doubt.

[never cry wolf]

2. steviet_2003 WINS MEGA-MILLION JACKPOT

Vows to donate to every democrat running!

[Fenris]

3. Bush declared clinically "insane" by White House physicians.

[AVID]

4. Nader Out - Says He Has Benn Dillusional

[Droopy]

5. U.S. forces to pull out of Iraq.

Bush admits it's a hopeless quagmire that is spawning hatred for the U.S. around the planet.

[catzies]

6. ENRON'S KEN LAY CONVICTED OF FRAUD, ALL ASSETS SEIZED

California repaid $9 billion; gubernatorial recall overturned due to Schwarzenegger not revealing Lay's behind-the-scenes orchestration of the recall, now known to be a smokescreen for evading payback.

When VP Cheney lost the fight to keep his FERC Energy Plan documents hidden, it was revealed that the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq were "campaign contribution repayments" to Ken Lay, who remains on suicide watch.

[SOteric]

7. In a huge media market, like the WP or the NYT:

Bush White House: The Unfolding Travesty

[Fenris]

8. Jesus returns to Earth, throws Bush out of the White House.

[UrbScotty]

9. Scalia resigns from SCOTUS

[Fenris]

10. Scalia, Rehnquist, and Thomas in plane crash in the Andes

All eaten by pilot.

[ForrestGump]

11. California man revealed as Hayek's love slave

News at Eleven....

[BlackVelvetElvis]

12. Bush, Cheney and Rice Caught Naked in WH Coat Closet

"We were looking for WMD's. Honest!" Condolezza cries.

[King Of Paperboys]

13. Pizza, Beer called "good AND good for you"

"Nothing wrong here," report science guys

[bbernardini]

14. "Britney Spears Sex Tape Shocker"

[terrya]

15. I can't argue with your, guy. That's the one I'd love to see.

[lpbk2713]

16. Limbaugh born again, repents. Claims it was all for show.

Film at eleven.

[BritishHuman]

17. Fairness Doctrine Reinstated

That'd be a good start.

"Mary Cheney Calls Father Bigot, Liar"

"Bush Administration Resigns En Masse"

"Humiliating Climbdown for Bush" (I don't care what about)

"Bush Impeachment Hearings Start Today"

Edit: Can't believe I almost forgot

"England win Euro 2004 : Crush outclassed French"

[johnnie]

18. Bush caught in love affair with intern.

It would just be perfect.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

19. USSC rules against Cheney

[TrogL]

20. Canada swings left

In a surprise ending to a yawner of a campaign, rather than the expected Liberal minority government, Canada has elected yet another Liberal majority government. The opposition is...you'd better sit down for this one...the NDP.

The New Conservative Party (aka Alliance, CRAP, Reform) faces a staggering defeat fielding only four seats. In the reorganized Parliament, they will be sitting next to the lone Communist.

[Guy_Montag]

21. France 6 England 0

:evilgrin:

[pdx_prog]

22. Condeleeza's blue dress

examined and spot was definitely human semen. Meanwhile, sources at the white house confirm that president bush has indeed taken up cigar smoking.

[pdx_prog]

23. Kerry wins landslide victory

[TrustingDog]

24. The Governator Implicated in Massive Enron Scandal