A serious question for the lesbian DU'ers with children?

[commander bunnypants]

My sister is in a commited relationship with a lady. They went through the invitro thing and have a child. She was the manly type and kinda of the father.

Should I get her a fathers day card or something more generic? Mind she is now pregnant also. or just leave it alone

DDQM

[MissMillie]

1. I don't know that I'd be flattered if it were me

I'm a single mom. My son's dad ran out on him when he was 2. My son always wishes me a happy father's day. And for me I think that's fine because it's just me.

Somehow, I think I would feel insulted if I were with another woman and someone designated me as the "father".

Just like there are all kinds of men, there are all kinds of women. Why one type of woman would seem more "fatherly" than another seems like a stereotype to me.

Just my two cents. Of course, I could be off base, but you know, I'll bet your sister would welcome a conversation about this. It would show her that you were thinking about her, but that you also wanted to be sensitive to how she might feel about her role in her family.

[commander bunnypants]

2. good point

I will just wish her and her so happy day.

DDQM

[philosophie_en_rose]

3. I don't think I'd give her a "father's day" card.

However, it's nice that you want to acknowledge her family. Maybe a card on a random day that honors her parenting would be a less dangerous idea.

[Bill of Rights]

4. Do not give her a father's day card

Both of them are mothers. I am mother of two adopted sons, and I am gay. My x and I adopted them together.

[truthspeaker]

5. nah, wait until next May and give 2 Mother's Day cards

[Misunderestimator]

6. Lesbians with Children? No way....

But seriously.... what's with the "manly type" and "kinda the father"? Just asking... I mean, I would have put it that she is more of the provider or stronger one in the relationship... why compare that role in a relationship as being a male one?

[Bertha Venation]

7. I don't have kids but trust me: MOTHER'S day is the time to honor her.

NOT Father's day. I know you mean no insult to anyone on the board.

She's a woman. That means she's a mother. Nothing more nor less.

[commander bunnypants]

8. sorry if I offended anyone

DDQM

[Misunderestimator]

9. No apologies necessary....

Hope you took the posts as they were meant, since you asked for advice. I think you got some good advice.

Also... I've read a lot of your posts, and I know that you didn't mean any offense. :pals:

[Sabriel]

10. Do what I do

Get a blank card and write your own message. When's Hallmark going to catch up with reality, anyway? They're missing out on some money here.