What does it take to get sterilized in this society?

[ott]

I just got back from the urologist. He refused my vasectomy. I've known I didn't want children since I knew the meaning of the word 'orphan,' this is just sick. Is our culture so selfish? I'm 25 years old. Do I have to wait another 25 years or knock a few women up before I can practice responsible birth control? Do I have to resort to having this operation performed by someone who is 'just in it for the money?' Is it so flipping strange that, (should I want a child in the future), it won't rot my ego that my child won't be of my seed? I'm so disgusted right now. </rant>

::Apologies to parents or breeders. I mean no offense. I know it's probably a truly wonderful and beautiful thing producing/carrying something of your creation. And I'm sure biting into a juicy steak is a pleasurable experience as well. I don't see that as selfish. I just don't want to do either of them.

[bicentennial_baby]

1. Get thee to PP

Call your local Planned Parenthood, they should be able to point you in the direction of someone who's willing to do it.

-fiancee to a soon-to-be "snipped" man

[HERVEPA]

5. Most doctors will do it

Just try to get a recommendation for another one.
However, at the risk of being annoying, I'll point out that you can't be sure of a whole lot at age 25.
I've changed in many views (not political ones, except to become more liberal, and not breeding ones, always wanted kids, have 2) since that age. I'm now 54.

[Caution]

2. Particularly odd

is that typically vasectomies are reversible. I actually looked into this as a form of birth control when i was 19. I was totally monogamous and risk free for disease and she couldnt take the pill. In the end it was too expensive for me at the time and we just dealt with condoms and the fear of breakage. Your doctor does not have to perform elective surgery upon you if he does not think it is the right thing to do. Find a different doctor if you have thought it through and are sure.

[Kolesar]

3. I am sure planned parenthood could refer you to a proper practioner

PP has a website with referrals I believe. I do know they have a good faq file on vasectomies.
I wonder if what this urologist did is even ethical. Maybe he is a pius believer with ingrained hangups.

[stopthegop]

16. or maybe he just

doesn't think ott is ready for the decision...in which case the doctor has to go with his best judgement on an elective issue like this

[CO Liberal]

4. Or Try Another Urologist

I had a vasectomy ten years ago at age 40. I had two kids my my first marriage, none by my second, and the lovely Mrs. CO Liberal and I decided we didn't want any children. That was ten years ago.

(BTW, you might want to let your local medical society know about that urologist.....)

[eyesroll]

6. I read a good line somewhere

If someone says, "But what happens when you get to be too old to have children and you regret not having them?" (OK, so the line was from a woman but I'm sure you've gotten that question too.)

Comeback: "I'd rather not have them and regret it than HAVE them and regret it."

Good luck, ott. I can understand a doctor being squeamish about performing the operation on a childless 25-year-old, but yes, I think a simple lecture about the relative difficulty of reversal and an informed-consent form should have sufficed.

(I'm assuming you weren't refused for health reasons.)

[Raven]

7. You are too young.

That's what the medical profession thinks. They are afraid you will change your mind and then sue them. I was 36 when I decided I wanted to have my tubes ties. I went to my HMO and they said I would have to get 6 weeks of counselling... this was 20 years ago but I don't think much has changed. In my case, I was 36 for God's sake and I had a child. Go figure. For you, though, maybe these docs are wondering why you don't use protection...I don't know...just a thought.

[CO Liberal]

8. Or Ask Lorena Bobbitt

:-)

[arwalden]

9. Rubbing Alcohol? Bleach? A Good Antibacterial Soap?

;-)

[Garage Queen]

10. And a sharp knife.

:evilgrin:

[patdem]

11. Maybe you need to approach the DR muttering how much you hate kids?

That is SO VERY ABSURD! There are SO many abused kids in the world...not that YOU would abuse a child...but it seems to me that anyone that does NOT want to have children should be obliged? And if not WHY not?....I would DEMAND the doctor that refused the operation to take full responsibility for any and all children you produce as a result of his dereliction of his duty!!! GOOD LUCK!

[Heddi]

12. Where do you live?

Go to Planned Parenthood. They will be MORE than happy to perform a vasectomy. My friends' husband went there and got one---his Doctor, just like yours, felt that at 31, he was still 'too young' to decide that he & his wife didn't want any more children.

The doctor also seemed unfazed by the fact that the wife cannot take birth control pills because of hormonal imbalances---the amount of progesterone in pills/depo/etc is far too much for her and causes her to have horrific side effects.

The doctor basically told them "That's what Condoms are for" and he (hubby) said "Well, I'm 31, I've been married for 6 years, and frankly, I don't want to use Condoms with my wife"

So, after much running around, they went to Planned Parenthood. I believe it cost them under $300 for the surgery, and the doctor only asked once if they were willing to accept the fact that the surgery, in some instances can be reversed, but not always, and that there is the high possiblity that they would not be able to have children in the future.

They said that was fine, they already have 2 and don't want anymore.

The doctor said 'Okay. you're an adult and you can make up your own mind" and scheduled an appointment for the next week.

It was an outpatient surgery with absolutely no complications.

I feel that if people can get fake boobs, penile implants, and such, without having being brow-beaten by the doctors, then people can also make the decision at WHATEVER AGE whether or not to have any children in the future.

Good luck in finding a doctor who can understand that you are an adult and take full responsibility for any medical procedures you wish to have done to you.

It's not the Dr's place to play Mister Morality and tell you that "No, you really DO want children, even though you don't know it yet, so I'm not going to perform this surgery"

You should have told him you have a violent temper and are a convicted pedophile and wish not to impose your evil will upon any future generations....no, don't say that...but I wonder if they would be more likely to do the surgery should you tell them that (or say you have an inherited genetic defect that would pass onto your children)?

[cmf]

13. This just amazes me.

A vasectomy is a simple medical procedure that is usually reversible. Yet, it is next to impossible to get one unless you've fathered children.
Pregnancy is an expensive medical condition that results in an irreversible child. Yet, you don't have to go to any counseling or talk to any doctors before you decide to have a baby.

Keep looking. My humble opinion is that if a guy is willing to let a knife come near that part of his body, he's probably thought about it long and hard and is pretty damn sure he doesn't want any children.

[catpower2000]

14. Go to another doctor...

I had my tubal at age 30--no children. My surgeon was wonderful--he talked to me for 30 minutes, made sure it was what I really wanted, explained the procedure in great detail to me. Then when I went in for my surgery, right before they wheeled me into the op room, he said, "You sure?" I said "Never been more sure of anything in my life." He nodded and that was it.

Your doctor is judgemental and probably religious. There are plenty of urologists--find one that doesn't impose his own moral beliefs onto his patients.

Cat

edit: I'm wrong, I was actually 29 when I had it done. The nurses in my dr's office were APPALLED, but my doc himself was totally cool.

[leftofthedial]

15. play softball

one season at third base without a cup should do the trick.

[ott]

17. Thanks very much DU!

You guys are the greatest!

This still has me shaking my head though. What the hell is wrong with a world where 24,000 kids starve to death a day and it's a struggle to practice birth control that's actually effective?

PP wasn't much help, they referred me to the health dept.

The search continues.