Does this make me look fat!

[bruce21040]

The six most dreaded words any husband can hear.

How do you answer this?
If it does make her look fat and you tell her that, you are in deep doo doo for eternity. You might be better off dead.

On the other hand, if it does not make her look fat, and you tell her it does not make her look fat, she claims you are just saying that, continues to ask until someone gets mad and then claims you are a liar, and you are in deep doo doo for eternity. Again, better off dead.

Now, lets say that she asks, and in fact that new dress makes her look something like orca the whale in a feeding frenzy, and you say no, she knows you are lying and claims you are just saying no to shut her up. if you say yes, it makes you look like orca the whale during a feeding frenzy, back to the eternity of doo doo.

so ladies.
What the hell are you looking for when you set us up with this question that really has no safe answer?

[freetobegay]

1. It's a trap to use against you at a later date

Nothing more, nothing less.

:hi: & welcome to DU.

[bruce21040]

3. Just makes one more accepting

to the issues of the gay lifestyle if you ask me.

:D

[Political_Junkie]

6. Yep, definitely a trap

I have a rule that I use with everyone and you only get one warning and that is:
If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question!

And, as a woman, I don't ask.

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. I don' t ask any more. *l* Hubby loves me and finds me sexy even when

I am creeping up there on the scale, and I know this cause he gives me a strategic squeeze or pat several times a day. *g*

P.S. Rant about the stupidity of using size as a measuring stick for sexiness and beauty in this country. That helps too.

[smiley_glad_hands]

4. Just say your no fashion expert---and run very fast.

[Bok_Tukalo]

5. The one I don't understand

is, "does this make ass look big?"

Like that's a BAD thing.

Women are truly odd.

[Political_Junkie]

7. Not all women

see my post above.

[Asteroid]

8. What about

"Honey nothing could make you look fat." To me it works on so many levels. If your wife is truly beautiful in your eyes then you will always see her as a 18 year old in her cheerleaders skirt. On the other hand if your wife is fat, then your are being totally honest with her, and yet you come off sounding good at the same time.

[unblock]

9. you answer this by porking her immediately!

the proper response is "oh my god, i'm getting hard!"

but you can't fake that one, so if you can't get hard at will, just say, "to save the time and trouble, i'll just go out to the doghouse right now."

[teach1st]

10. It's a trap, but you're not doomed

I'm divorced and now a terminal bachelor, which makes me giving advice about this like Bush talking about being environmentally friendly, but when asked...

..."You look great in anything, sweetie!"

Then distract: "It really looks good with those shoes" (that purse, your hair, our bank account).

Then distract some more: "I was just telling Nick down at the loading dock how great you're looking. He's jealous!"

(The tendency here is to ask questions - Where did you get it? Why do you ask? Do you think you look fat? - DON'T. Questions invariably will lead back to the trap.

Instead withdraw - quickly: "I've got a bit dirty flangeing the humzington squinch today. I'm going to wash up and change into something nice so you'll be proud of me."

Then disappear into the bathroom. Take at least 30 minutes. Shave and put on some cologne. Put on a nice shirt.

That should do it, unless she's the suspicious type.

[Philosophy]

11. I always say yes

Then it becomes a joke and she stops asking.