Thinkers Anonymous

[Viking12]

Found this is my e-mail today. Sorry if it's a dupe.

It started out innocently enough.

I began to think at parties now and then...to loosen
up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another,
and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I
began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself --
but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and
more important to me, and finally I was thinking all
the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One
evening I had turned off the TV and asked my husband
about the meaning of life. He spent that night at his
mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and
employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I
began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read
Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we
are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in.

He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurt s me to say
this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If
you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to
find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.
"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," he said, "and I want a
divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," he said, lower lip aquiver. "You
think as much as college professors, and college
professors don't make any money, so if you keep on
thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. He
exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was
in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out
the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for
some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR
on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors... They
didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I
believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me
that night.

As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling
glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my
eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it
asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from
the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why
I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never
miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last
week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about
how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I
still have my job, and things are a lot better at
home.

Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I
stopped thinking.

I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for
me. Today, I registered to vote Republican.


:)

[kimchi]

1. I was waiting for it......and glad to see the tag line.

Thanks for posting that! Just about made my day.

[NMDemDist2]

2. ROFL n/t