Bush Thanksgiving Dinner Recipes Leaked To Press!

[Plaid Adder]

Haven't done your holiday shopping yet? Interested in eating like the quality this year? I happen to have obtained a copy of the shopping list for Thanksgiving dinner at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and am making it available for free to all of you. The ingredients are a little expensive, but I'm sure it all adds up to a fabulous once-in-a-lifetime feast!


BUSH FAMILY THANKSGIVING DINNER RECIPIES


Turkey A La Baghdad

Ingredients:

1 turkey (plastic)
1 jet plane
40,000 lb. jet fuel
30 Journalists(TM)*
200 military uniforms
$300 billion

Directions:

1. Inject $300 billion into veins of largest available corporation with ties to administration (preferably Halliburton).
2. Load Journalists(TM) onto jet plane. Pump fuel into plane. Fly plane to Baghdad.
3. While plane is flying across Atlantic Ocean, distribute military uniforms to all personnel waiting at destination, including any PR staffers who may be standing around with nothing to do.
4. Put plastic turkey on platter. Hold aloft while cameras roll.

Serves: Nobody, or the entire viewership of Fox News, depending on how you look at it.

Uncle Fitzgerald's Sweet Potato Surprise

Ingredients:

20 reams incriminating documentation, finely shredded
2 tons Rove & Libby Brand Bullshit(TM)
2 gallons Miller's Premuim Oil of Grandstanding
1 tbsp. salt
1 lb. sweet potatoes
2 cups brown sugar

Directions:

1. Thickly coat inside of large casserole dish with Miller's Oil of Grandstanding.
2. Place shredded documents and 1.75 tons of the bullshit into large food prosecutor, reserving 1/4 ton of bullshit for garnish. Puree on high for 2 years.
3. Strain documentation and bullshit mixture in sieve to remove lumps of perjury and obstruction of justice. Set lumps aside in separate baking dish.
4. Put strained bullshit mixture into oiled casserole dish. Cook in conventional oven at 300 degrees for 2 hours
5. While bullshit mixture is cooking, take lumps of perjury and puree along with sweet potatoes and brown sugar. Cook at 350 for 1 hour in separate oven.
6. Remove sweet potato casserole and serve to grateful nation. (The surprise is, it feeds 60 million!)
6. Remove bullshit casserole from oven. Garnish with reserved bullshit. Cool and serve cold to Bush family and senior White House staff. (The surprise is, after all that work, it still tastes like shit!)

This is a particular favorite because it's really two dishes in one. It keeps forever, and the leftovers just keep getting better!

Iraq War Humble Pie

Ingredients:

50 lb. canned cooked intelligence
25 lb. cherries picked by Office of Special Plans
1/2 ton chopped logic
3 gallons Friedman's Tincture Of Warmongering
10 cubic feet Chalabi's Imitation Information
3 cups shredded crow
1 very deep pie shell

Directions:

1. Fold picked cherries and chopped logic into canned cooked intelligence. Mix in Tincture of Warmongering and Imitation Information as needed.
2. Pour into pie shell.
3. Put pie shell into oven and cook at 911 degrees until pie is firm and resists gentle pressure.**
4. Remove pie from oven. Sprinkle with shredded crow and eat.

Serves: We don't know, nobody's really doing accurate body counts.

*If no journalists are available, stenographers can be substituted without any noticeable change in the results.
** The trick with this recipie is to make sure you take the pie out of the oven BEFORE it starts to stink!

Happy Holidays,

The Plaid Adder

[Tamyrlin79]

1. What? No Humble Pie???

Somehow, I don't think that dish would sit well with his arrogant palate.

[Plaid Adder]

4. Good idea! Retitled mud pie. n/t

[DS1]

2. That should be at least 40,000 pounds of fuel

Bush's turkey is going to be undercooked, or swimming in the Atlantic ;-)

[Plaid Adder]

3. OK, I added the zeroes

Jets use a lot of damn fuel!

The Plaid Adder

[Generic Other]

5. He should have a feast exactly like the Pilgrims did on first Thanksgiving

The colonists had intended
to produce their own food, but had neglected to bring
any cows, sheep, mules or horses. (They may have had pigs.) To
be sure, the Pilgrims had intended to make most of their livelihood
not by farming but by catching fish for export to Britain.
But the only fishing gear the Pilgrims brought was useless in
New England. Only half of the 102 people on the Mayflower
made it through the first winter.
How did even that many survive? In his history of Plymouth
Colony, Governor William Bradford himself provides one answer:
robbing Indian houses and graves. The Mayflower hove
to first at Cape Cod. An armed company of Pilgrims staggered
out. Eventually they found a deserted Indian habitation. The
newcomers—hungry, cold, sick—dug open burial sites and ransacked
homes, looking for underground stashes of food. After
two days of nervous work, the company hauled ten bushels of
maize back to the Mayflower, carrying much of the booty in a
big metal kettle the men had also stolen. “And sure it was God’s
good providence that we found this corn,” Winslow wrote, “for
else we know not how we should have done.”



http://www.smithsonianmag.si.edu/smithsonian/issues05/dec05/indians.html

[Plaid Adder]

6. OMG.

It's the first example in the history of America about how white people 'find' and everyone else 'loots!'

Lord have mercy,

The Plaid Adder

[Plaid Adder]

7. Pre-Turkey Day kick n/t

:kick:

[Stockholm]

8. Great job!

kick and nominated

[Plaid Adder]

9. Thank you!

I do my best.

:kick:

THe Plaid Adder

[Generic Other]

10. KICK for crow pie

:kick:

[Clara T]

11. Would there be any

Depleted Uranium
Thermobaric Weapons
White Phosphorous

in the blend?

[Plaid Adder]

12. No, that stuff all goes into Desert Flambe

which is more of a Christmas favorite. Don't worry, there's always enough of THAT to go around!

The Plaid Adder