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Edited on Tue Nov-15-05 09:40 AM by Bouncy Ball
Tuesday, November 15, 2005: Breaking--Bill "Bin Laden" O'Reilly announced early today from his New York City offices that, rather than simply inviting Al-Queda to attack San Fransisco, a West coast American city, he is going to "show those hippies and homosexuals some what-for" and has procured half a dozen puppies and kittens born in the Golden Gate City.
What he plans on doing with them on-air remains a mystery for now, but this reporter was distressed to learn he has also ordered large vats of oil.
Unfortunately, said Bin Reilly, no San Fransiscan would "loan" him their San Fran-born toddler.
San Fransisco mother of three Alice Harrison called in to his show and told the right-wing commentator, "You can go f*** yourself. You're crazy."
Bin Reilly asked her children's ages and plugged his kid's book. The woman hung up. The Family Council lodged 26,549 complaints with the FCC against Alice Harrison of San Fransisco.
Later in the show, Bin Reilly threatened to put the San Fransisco mother's name on his website. A quick check of the site shows no list of names.
A psychiatrist, speaking anonymously, said Bin Reilly is currently undergoing treatment and will soon have a "commitment hearing."
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