I Found Out The Other Day A Woman Who Works At My Store Is Homeless

[THUNDER HANDS]

What store do I work at?

Wal-Mart.

She sleeps in her car in the parking lot, and has since the store opened last January. She has a little dog with her that she keeps in the car also.

In the summer she takes cold water out to the dog. In the winter she keeps him wrapped in a blanket. She pays some nearby lady $10 a month to let her use her shower, I heard.

She's a people-greeter at my store, and while I don't know how much she makes, I'd guess its between $6 - $8 an hour.

This store is on Long Island, where a one-bedroom apartment goes for about $1,500 a month. She'd have to work about 75 hours a week just to afford rent.

I heard that the managers in the store offered her a place to stay, if she would get rid of the dog. She apparently refused because the dog is the only friend she has in the world.

This is such a sad situation, I want to help her, but I don't know if it would be appropriate. I'm sure she's not too keen on others knowing her situation.

[dryan]

1. Thanksgiving Dinner...

Invite her -- and the dog. It will be a start.

[wicket]

16. Beautiful idea

:thumbsup:

[TheDebbieDee]

17. Why wait til Thanksgiving? Invite her to dinner tonight!

Anything could happen between now and Thanksgiving.

Live everyday like it was the last day of your life. Don't put these things off - do them today!

[ComerPerro]

20. Very true

[faithnotgreed]

2. wow

how did you find out the details of her situation

its quite important to respect her privacy and her feelings though if you have any way to help her i would certainly encourage you to come up with a way
i wish i lived nearby because anyone who cares that much for animals is a person of love (not that i know what else her situation is but i would love to help her if i could)

do you know her/speak with her at all

please let me know
i would be willing to help.....

on edit: it would be well worth getting some information in place
such as local housing & financial assistance agencies who may be able to help and depending on her age etc there are others that could provide information & help

thank you for caring
its gotten cold and the sooner you are able to find out/help the better....

[THUNDER HANDS]

6. well

I work with a woman who gets all the gossip on the store. And yeah, I'm friendly with this particular woman, but I can't say we've had much in the way of conversation.

I feel bad. The dog is really cute too. A little white doggie. :(

[faithnotgreed]

12. please do consider the best way to proceed

this is a very sensitive but crucial situation (if completely true)

if this woman is approachable (she is a greeter so i imagine she is) then by all means do communicate with her directly
in a discrete respectful way (of course you would but just encouraging that)

perhaps she could come over to your place to talk

and hear from her what she would like or can do and she can verify if there has been any help offered from the store and other important pieces
some want help and some do not....

again you can contact local agencies and possibly the media (but only if she oks it) if she likes and im sure many would want to help if she wants it

and again please do let us know because i am serious about wanting to help her

[bananas]

18. Do homeless people with dogs move to Long Island?

I would guess she lived on LI for a long time before becoming homeless.
Good luck, her story has touched a lot of people here.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. People have their pride

they won't take things for themselves, but will for their pets. Make a fuss over the dog and give her food for it. And yes, invite her to dinner.

[lumberjack_jeff]

27. Absolutely.

Everyone has their pride and everyone needs to feel, if not important, at least useful. Get to know her, if she has an area of expertise, ask her for her advice and/or her help. In return, you could offer her dinner, dog sitting, or other help occasionally.

[Danger Duck]

You should contact the local media

They love stories like this. Maybe Wal-Mart will build her a house. Either way, get the cameras rolling.

[LifeDuringWartime]

23. i have a feeling she wouldn't want everyone in the world know she lives in

the walmart parking lot

[Danger Duck]

31. I have a feeling

she might be willing to risk the exposure. it's a six dollar an hour job. Does she get benefits? A health plan or tire rotation? Come on, if she is living in her car and working at Wal-mart, why not get some exposure.

[pitohui]

37. i agree w lifeduringwartime

yrs ago in a similar situation i did not want anyone to know i was homeless & i think it was much easier for me to get my life back on track because no one knew

[roguevalley]

4. I'm glad she has the dog. her despair won't kill her with that little

guy depending upon her. God bless them all. Fuck Wal-Mart to the hottest circle of hell.

[xultar]

52. In my darkest days I can say my chihuahuas have saved my life.

[roguevalley]

53. I hear you. My baby in the sig line died March 29th at 9:34 in the

worst morning I've experienced in longer than I can remember. His brother and the other three and I crawled into bed for two days. They saved me, the wonderful babies.

[soothsayer]

5. Thanksgiving would be lovely! Then mebbeyou can help her find a

situation, like renting a room in a pet-friendly home, if possible. Surely there are places like that.

You're so thoughtful to want to help!

[faithnotgreed]

15. yes soothsayer - that is good

since they live in a large enough area i would think the local housing agencies would be a good resource (and depending on age and other factors there are possibly other agencies that could be involved incl animal support groups)

[Iris]

7. Wow, those store managers sure are generous.

NOT!!!!!!!!!!


God. Why would a little dog be a problem?

Oh, well. I guess they're happy with the chance to appear magnanimous.

[Cleita]

8. There was an item in the news today of employees

sleeping in the back of Wal-Mart stores. This is awful in our supposedly great country.

[Iris]

9. and yet, Wal-mart gets upset over any criticism of their policies.

[raccoon]

11. Now, who does that sound like? nt

[FreedomAngel82]

44. And here people have the right to claim

the economy is going well. :mad: Yeah freakin right!

[oxbow]

57. It's going great though! (just not for the poor or middle class) nt.

[raccoon]

10. I have a co-worker who was in that plight not long ago.

Was living out of his truck. He too had a dog who I believe he considered his last friend in the world.

Fortunately, he is now able to rent a place. It sounds like sub-standard housing from what I gather, but at least it's a roof.
And he still has the dog.

This is so sad. I hope she can get some help from some local agency.

[Bouncy Ball]

13. Ever read "Nickel and Dimed" by Barbara Ehrenleich (sp)?

She worked at Wal-Mart for a while and documented such things. Great, but depressing book.

[faithnotgreed]

14. yes that is a fantastic book

and all too common though we dont hear about it
here and there of course we do but not consistently and loudly that this is a way of life for many

[Swamp Rat]

46. Yes, I just read it.

Fortunately for Ehrenleich it was her choice to live that way, in order to write her book, and that she was able to go home.

[OzarkDem]

63. Ehrenreich needs to do more research

If she did she would find low income women are quickly becoming second class citizens, ignored by some of the same people who are fans of her work.

[Swamp Rat]

69. Yep

She needs to do a LOT more research, but I doubt she will. I read the book for an urban studies grad class, after I got back from New Orleans and saw what was left of my place. Maybe she had an altruistic motive for this work, but the book is more pulp than substance. It's much easier to go down the economic ladder as a journalist doing an experiment, than to go up it as a second class citizen. My high hopes for Ehrenreich were dashed before I was 1/4 of the way through. At that point, having to read the rest of book just pissed me off. I think I'll stick to well-researched works by social scientists from now on.

[GreenPartyVoter]

19. :^(

[applegrove]

21. You could try and find a case-worker. Then try and get her on

the waiting lists for affordable housing. You could offer to give her dog a good home and let her visit. You could try to find a good home for her dog - where she can visit.

Very sad.

[EFerrari]

24. with respect, applegrove, homeless people need their pets

more than they need unsolicited advice.

Homeless people are not inanimate objects. They have thoughts and wishes and preferences, just as you do.

We forget that.

[applegrove]

26. This person solicited advice. Why I directed them to a case worker

who would know the issues of homelesspeople and their pets. Why I never suggested they get rid of their dog - and prioratized options that would see the homeless person with their dog - at some point in the future.

Pets make people happy.

[EFerrari]

28. Sure. And those of us who want and try to help homeless neighbors

have this challenge: to be useful AND respectful at the same time.

:hi:

[applegrove]

29. Why I directed them to a caseworker. And prioratized the dog above

the homelessness. Because it is important.:hi:

[EFerrari]

30. There we go.

My husband had caseworkers and you know, it wasn't a "go". Because the caseworkers were too burdened, because they had no knowledge (or patience) with his mental health issues. It was just a very difficult situation.

I feel so heartened that DU is aware of this matrix of problems.

Thanks, DU

[Greyhound]

47. Here in the supposedly good economy of the southwest

the waiting list for housing is over 3 years going on 4, I'm sure it's longer in LI.

[applegrove]

60. I know. The wait is long. But this person may need the subsidized housing

in 4 years. They must be put on the list. They have a good 40 years at least to live. Get them on the lists. And to do that properly - you need a caseworker.

[OzarkDem]

65. She's probably not eligible

Most housing programs are only for women over 65 or with minor children at home.

Unfortunately, unless she has a baby, develops a substance abuse problem, goes to prison, or becomes disabled, she's not eligible for any help. Often in these situations, women can find a physician to diagnose them with chronic depression or a similar mental health problem to help them get on a list for housing assistance. The downside is, they have to live with the stigma of being labeled with mental illness.

[applegrove]

73. That is why she needs a caseworker to tell her if she qualifies for

housing in the future or what she has to do to qualify. Yes there is much powerlessness amongst caseworkers but they do everything they can and often pull a miracle out of their ass.

Important that she be on the right plan for housing, health, help, and given the best information available as to where to go for help if she needs it. There could even be a place that takes in the pets of the homeless in her community so that if she needs someone to take care of her pet for a bit - during an emergency of sorts - she knows the spot exists.

[EFerrari]

22. Resources and tips here:

http://www.nationalhomeless.org/

Many homeless people feel shamed by their situation and will routinely hide it. Calling the media is not a good idea unless you *personally* know and trust the reporter.

My husband was homeless for a year. He still says he wasn't because he never slept under a bush or in a shelter. Fact is, he was homeless, did sleep in a shelter or in horrible hotel rooms when he could.

If you need anything,pm me.

:hi:

Beth (there but for the grace of SOMETHING go I)

Link to Doug's story, fyi: http://archives.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/08/29/newsstand.ferrari/

[lildreamer316]

36. Wow.

Just read the story at the link. Bravo to you and to Doug; and best wishes on his continued success!
My husband was homeless too, for awhile. Mostly due to his severe ADD and childhood abuse. I think we are on the way to balancing him out, although when he drinks.......ah, well.
Thanks for the tips....

[EFerrari]

42. It is all about balance, isn't it?

Best to you both.

Doug's going on 5+ years without a decompensation. His medical team has A LOT to do with that.

:toast:

[CatBoreal]

25. Tell her she's won the draw for...

... a free 1 year membership at the Y (free showers and a chance to meet people)

... or a free weekend at a local hotel with room service.

If you can afford to swing it of course. If not, maybe you can get one or two of the employees to pitch in after they've been sworn to secrecy.

Good luck. I hope you can help this lady.

[jzodda]

32. Your story has made me sad

How terrible in this country of endless riches that people are forced or compelled for whatever reason to live like that. Shame on wal-mart for paying their workers so little that problems like this can occur. Shame on all of us as a country that we allow this to happen or turn a blind eye to it.

On the one hand its a story tailor made for the media, especially in light of the current press on wal-mart and the opening of the new movie about their practices, but of course the woman should be made to feel like she has some dignity, which the media seems incapable of doing.

So its the S word for me today. Sad and Shame

[mtpWriter]

33. Very sad. And I admire you for wanting to help

[FighttheFuture]

34. I cannot blame this on Wal-mart... this is a more systemic problem...

I don't like Wal-Mart's predatory practices or poor employee policies, and I think the company has caused much damage to this country. But, she is a greeter, and they will only pay so much for that.

This is really a bigger problem within our society as a whole. Lack of a living wage, even an improved minimum wage. Lack of affordable housing where jobs may be. Lack of social safety nets that could help house/re-train this woman, and so on.

[MADem]

59. The problem, as you say, is that no one pays a "living wage"

It used to be that even with a crappy job, you could afford a crappy little place to live. Nowadays, in some regions, the crappy places to live cost a small fortune.

[lovelaureng]

35. His is my advice, for what its worth.

Whether or not it is "appropriate", help her anyway. Do what is in your heart, it will prove to be the right thing.

[femrap]

38. Isn't there anyone who has a room to let to this woman?

Check the ads....she is employed...maybe there's is someone out there who needs a roommate for financial reasons...or would enjoy some companionship.

So very sad....

[RazzleDazzle]

43. Here's an idea

I have a friend who is just that close to being homeless herself. She works intermittently and the pay is decent, but it's sporadic. and she's had a number of reversals including cancer.

What she has done is find housing thru a charitable roommmate service -- this is actually for elderly people who need and want companions of various types in exchange for a room or perhpas even apartment. One situation that didn't work out was a couple where the husband had alzheimer's. I'm glad for her it didn't work out, but it might be okay for some people. She's now in a new situation where the lady is 88, spry, in full control of her faculties, and they go out to dinner now and then and perhaps other things. She (the home owner) just needs the safety and comfort of someone close by, and a little friendly companionship. My friend has been able to have her cat with her with no problem.

See if there's such a thing in your area. I think my friend's arrangements are through some sort of Jewish charity. But you might check United Way, who are often good for referrals, etc.

[RebelOne]

45. But there are many people who would not be willing

to take on a roommate with a pet.

[pitohui]

50. the dog eliminates that option in a lot of cases

if i were single again, i could not rent to someone who owned a cat or a dog, no matter how marvelous -- i'm allergic

we don't even know if the walmart manager who offered his home until he learned she had a dog was himself allergic

[Jed Dilligan]

39. A sad situation but

Don't forget she's one of the lucky ones. There are so many without the shitty job, the car, or even the dog. If you blow her case open she could lose all these things and become another statistic. Help quietly or not at all would be my advice. Society's level of caring is about a press conference deep.

[nadinbrzezinski]

40. Several things

social services may be able and should get involved

You also can help her wiht some food, such as thanksgiving dinner

Find if there are people who can let her bunk in and help with rent, things like that

[FreedomAngel82]

41. Maybe try helping her

Just talk to her and invite her to lunch or dinner (whatever time you work) and get to know her and get some food for the little dog and see if you could help her out. If you feel the need to help than I would at least try. :)

[yardwork]

48. One of her needs is privacy

I'm thinking about what it would be like to live in my car, and I think that the lack of personal space and privacy would be hard. She works all day as a greeter in a store and then returns to the peace and quiet of....her car. Not good. Every person and animal needs a private place to retreat into sometimes.

It's possible that she tried the shelters and couldn't take it. The lack of privacy there is worse than in a car. How many on this list have ever seen the inside of a women's "dorm" in a homeless shelter? It's usually a medium-sized room filled with about a dozen women, bunkbeads, and a bathroom with one toilet and one sink. Perhaps the women are single, and perhaps they have their children with them in that one room. Imagine the lack of privacy, the overwhelming sense of being surrounded by people all the time.

[Ilsa]

49. Is there an athletic club (or YMCA/YWCA) she can join, maybe

at a rate related to off-peaj hours so that she doesn't have to shower at someone else's place? I realize it is more expensive, but I considered something like this when I was single and about to be fired.

You are so sweet for trying to help her out. I hope she'll let you do something nice for her.

[ikojo]

51. Let's all cheer for

capitalism!!!!

[NoSheep]

54. Catholic charities are often very responsive to such things. It is a

"think outside of the box" situation. She is outside of the box. All the posts here are good. Respect for her privacy etc. If you really feel you have the energy to reach out to her, good things could happen. She very much needs someone to care enough to be proactive in her case, but certainly within her comfort zone. Good luck. :grouphug:

[OzarkDem]

64. They're usually good for $50

and a referral to the women's homeless shelter.

[DS1]

55. If I found out a co-worker was homeless, and knew them

for more than a few months, they'd be in my house that night.

[Laurab]

56. There are a lot of good suggestions here

I know what I would do if I were you - I wouldn't care if it would be "appropriate" or not. I would find a way to talk to her ASAP - maybe "happen" to walk by her car, pet the dog - in some way engage her in a chat. If you're in a position to help her, by all means, try your best. LI must get awfully cold in the winter. If nothing else, learn about any options she might have, and share them with her. I wouldn't give up my dog either, so I can surely understand that part.

I don't know what exactly I would do, I just know I would TRY. I know there have to be some options for her....I don't know how big LI is, but there must be somewhere cheaper not that far away? A room for rent somewhere, an area where they share apartments and rent out rooms, like they do in the Boston area? Post on Craig's list (it's free) if they have one in that area...just please try to do something. Good luck to you, and to her.

[OzarkDem]

66. Here's a good idea

Contact her Congressperson, state representative and state senator. Tell them to get off their a$$e$ and stop treating low income working women so poorly. Women still have value in society even if they don't have children at home.

Sen. Hillary Clinton
Main District Office:
780 Third Ave., Ste. 2601
New York, NY 10017
Phone: [phone]
Fax: [phone]

Sen. Charles Schumer
Main District Office:
757 Third Ave., Ste. 17-02
New York, NY 10017
Phone: [phone]
Fax: [phone]

go to www.congress.org to find out who her Representative is.

There are thousands of other women out there just like her and its time they get some attention.

[mzmolly]

58. Can someone offer to take in the dog for the winter?

Such a sad situation.

[BronxBoy]

61. Nassau or Suffolk? n/t

[OzarkDem]

62. A victim of discrimination in social services

Since welfare reform during the 1990's, there's a huge hole in the safety net for single working women whose children are grown. Most housing, health care, training and financial assistance programs today are geared towards "families", ie women whose children are still living at home and those with substance abuse problems, long term disabilities or criminal backgrounds.

Since women tend to earn so much less than men, these "baby boomer" women are becoming the largest group of the hidden poor and unsinsured.

It says a lot about how our society continues to regard women as second class citizens - someone to bear the children, raise them, work for lower wages, then thrown overboard when they're no longer useful.

You'd be surprised at how many of these women have a college education.

[solinvictus]

67. God, that's sad..

I can relate, though, because I'd never EVER get rid of my chihuahuas for any reason. Dogs love you more than any person in the world is capable of and if any creature on this earth has a free pass to heaven, it's them.
By all means help, but I have to agree with those who want to save her dignity and pride. Under these circumstances, it's about all she has left.

[dchill]

68. How many of us here...

are but a paycheck or two away from being in the same position?

[Dunedain]

70. I worked with a guy

who lived in a state park for a better part of a minnesota winter, and the following summer as well. He made the best of what he could provide for himself.
This was at best buy during the early years.
Another guy, some years later, lived out of his car for awhile.
He used to wash in the bathroom every once in a while.
I'd venture to say that by most peoples reactions at that time, it made them uncomfortable.
I've known quite a few people who have found a box, a car, or maybe a doorway, and called it home.
With the exception of a few, everyone of the people I have known, moved beyond that way of having to live.
Some got help, everyone of them did it on their own so to speak.
Every single one of them was worthy of a measure of dignity.
Treat her as you would have her treat you.

[Synnical]

71. Kick

Because I need to read all the comments and then send to other internet resources.

-Cindy in Fort Lauderdale

[NMMNG]

72. Magic Rat,

This directory of services for the homeless in Nassau and Suffolk counties may be of assistance. It looks very comprehensive, including shelters, counseling services, food pantries, Departments of Social Services, and other means of assistance. I am sure one or more of the agencies listed there could help your coworker.