November 2, 2004

[tallahasseedem]

Where were you and what were you doing?

I had a class to teach and then promptly left to be a poll watcher at one of the poll stations here in Tallahassee. I remember being so excited, yet nervous at what was going to happen that night.

I never watched the television once, only checking the computer periodically. It was almost like I knew the fix would kick in. A little after midnight on the 3rd it was painfully obvious that we had lost. I spent the next day essentially doing nothing, just staring at the sky wondering how this could be happening.

[Greeby]

1. A date which will live on in infamy

I've never felt as depressed as I did the following day when Kerry conceded :cry:

[LittleClarkie]

16. Rather like somebody died, wasn't it.

Even now, I'm breaking out in little crying jags, esp. when I realized the one year anniversary had come.

A whole damn year. I can't believe it.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. I was an Election Protection poll monitor.

I was so sure Kerry would win. I spent most of the day freezing my ass outside an elementary school in an inner-city neighborhood in St. Paul, watching to be sure the Republican operatives didn't come by to harass minority voters, and I remember an older African-American woman walked out of the building wearing this huge smile, and she said, "I've been waiting four years to do that!" And later that night, when it all fell apart, I thought about her, and how she and all the rest of us had just been screwed again.

[sandnsea]

3. Calling Ohio

Apparently I needed to call 60,000 more people. :(

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

7. You could have called 60 billion......

....somehow, it wouldn't have been enough.

[BlueIris]

12. I called Ohio, too.

One of the worst memories of that day is the guy who told me, "no, I didn't have any problems, but I've heard some stories about weird stuff happening in Cleaveland. Are you guys calling Cleaveland?"

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

4. My first intro to DU that day

I was lurking......seemed like it was going to be a night to celebrate with great news from around the country until about 7:30.......then, in a split second, one quick glance of Tweety Matthews confused and panicked face as got the stop sign on calling Ohio for Kerry, I got the sinking suspicion that the media realized the election had been stolen again, yet didn't have the balls to even breath a word of it. And they didn't......

[eowyn_of_rohan]

29. Me too

I'd been lurking for a few weeks, and tried to join on Nov 3, but they had locked out new members...I begged Skinner to let me on but it took a few days...

It was like a long slide into hell once we figured out it was going to be stolen again...

[deadparrot]

5. School all day, then home.

Glued to DU and the TV.

Didn't sleep that night, didn't eat for several days afterward. Cried a LOT.

Tomorrow will be a sad, sad anniversary.

[high density]

6. I was so excited and happy

I was unemployed at the time and walked down to the polls, confident that Kerry had it. I stayed up 'till about 6am hoping that something would change, and at that point I think that's when my CBS affiliate dropped Dan Rather and went to their local news coverage. When I woke back up (around noon I think), Kerry had already conceded.

I feld rather good for most of November 2, but November 3 was a very sad day.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

8. I took the day off and drove elderly people to the polls

I'll never forget it, I had these two ladies from a retirement home who had to borrow sweaters to cover up their Kerry shirts. I was so damn proud of them.

I spent the evening here on DU and with my friends.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

9. Voted in the a.m., then spent the rest of the day knocking on doors...

and driving folks to the polls. Went to a party that night and vividly remember the highs, gawd, then the lows. Could hardly get out of bed the next day I was in such a funk. :-(

[Dervill Crow]

10. I was glued to my computer.

Several weeks ago I was cleaning up my desk and found the scratch pad on which I had scribbled the number of electoral votes needed and the number that Kerry had. I was so hopeful. It's hard to comprehend that it was only one year ago; so much more has gone wrong since then.

[BlueIris]

11. Spent all day in the Kerry campaign office for my city.

Came home aroun 4 p.m., cried, read MichaelMoore.com, and went to bed hopeful. Woke up in time to watch the 6-7 p.m. shit start to go down, stayed up all night, crashed for a couple of hours, in time to see Andrew Card make the announcement that Bush had kept the WH. Crashed again.

I watched a rerun of Kerry's concession speech around 4 p.m. More crying. Denial. 24 hours of "this is not happening" until I finally broke down on the evening of November 4. That lasted until about last May.

[loro mi dicevano]

13. I was driving around downtown St. Paul, windows down, Air America up,

hearing "things are looking good for us." (Or, at least, that's the memory that sticks out most in my mind.)

I still wonder how it happened.

[EFerrari]

14. I was working at home and monitoring the turn out best as I could.

I had expressed my worries about a stolen election to MoveOn and had been reassured. Like an idiot, I let myself be reassured.

I didn't know about the machines, about the tabulators, I knew nothing.

But I did know that Kerry won and that when the Bush "win" was reported, it felt like something precious had been broken. Because in all my life, I'd NEVER seen a mobilization like the one we put on.

Thanks to Andy, I know a little better now. Have a better fix on what we face now.

( Thank you, Carrot Top. )

[LittleClarkie]

15. I had taken Friday, Sat, Sun, Mon, and Tuesday off

I froze my ass off at a rally on Nov. 1st so that I could finally see Kerry for the first time.

He looked like this:


On Nov. 2 I headed for one headquarters, and then was sent to another headquarters to phonebank. The Rapid Response team then had several of us go to union headquarters and get organized to go out and "hold the lines" with candy and goodies. We figured that if we could bribe the folks with snacks, they wouldn't leave the line even if it was long.

I then went to the celebration downtown and had my heart cut out.
This is me, getting my heart cut out:


Now if you will excuse me, I need to go cry. Again.

[cry baby]

30. seeing those pics brings back bittersweet memories...

how proud I felt of Kerry and his family then the hell on Nov 3. I can't believe those pics stir such emotion in me even now, I'm crying again.

[tallahasseedem]

33. Wow.

That picture of you is just heartwrenching. Your look says it all. What a horrible evening.

[VolcanoJen]

38. Sigh.

Last time I saw Kerry: October 20. I left that rally feeling as though we'd already won.



Your second picture was like a knife in the heart. :cry:

[nadinbrzezinski]

17. I was glued to the events after going to vote, first in line

serious... my hubby was second in line

[DearAbby]

18. I had voted absentee ballot earlier, I went shopping that day and then

went over to some dear friends house to watch the returns and celebrate. I was so excited all day long, I was sure that finally America would be on the right track, that a new day had dawned.

I went to our friends house and parked myself on the sofa and watched the returns, We all sat there in silence. Every once in a while we looked at each other, nothing had to be said. We all knew it.

It is one of those days that will always be with me, crystal clear. I was cheated, we all were cheated.

[tallahasseedem]

19. I voted early as well.

I know I will never forget that feeling when I realized that we were going to lose.

[Vinca]

20. It was my husband's first vote as an American citizen.

We were giddy with excitement. I was glued to the tube until I couldn't stay awake any longer. Then the world came crashing down. In the middle of the night I woke up, stared at the screen and burst into tears. I sobbed for hours. Part of me is still sobbing.

[ultraist]

21. I awoke that morning with a very bad feeling

I had volunteered for the previous months at our Kerry-Edwards office, almost daily and although I was generally hopeful about winning, there was a fear that they would cheat again that loomed over me throughout the campaign.

On Nov 2, I went to vote at 6 am. I was harassed by a big fat redneck guy over my anti Bush tshirt---he tried to tell me I would have to take my shirt of to go in and vote. I told him to fuck off, voter harassment is against the law.

After I voted, a friend had shown up to be a poll watcher. We hugged and I went home. I later went to our campaign office for a bit but left early to come home, still feeling very worried that something horrible was going to happen.

By that evening, it was evident that it wasn't just a feeling I had, we were in big trouble. I canceled my plans to go to the election night party and stayed home and cried. :cry: It was so depressing. I cried more the next day watching the concession speech at a local cafe with my husband. Several people there were also crying, including the owner. What a dark, dark day.

I knew that I had done, what I could, as did millions of other volunteers, but it wasn't much of a consolation.

[VolcanoJen]

40. I was harrassed by a poll worker over my MoveOn.org ballot guide

The main reason I took it in was to remember how to spell the Democratic candidate for sherrif's name. He was a write-in candidate only, do to some pre-election trickery by the incumbent.

Such is southwestern Ohio.

When I took my ballot to drop it in the box, an elderly man, the pollworker manning the ballot box, said, "You shouldn't have to bring in a cheat sheet to vote. You should know who you're voting for before you come in here."

I just glared at him and I shook a little when I said, "It's not a cheat sheet, it's a ballot guide. I've been voting for decades. You should know better than to talk to me in that manner as a poll worker."

The other pollworkers jumped to his defense. "He was just kidding! He didn't mean anything!" I put my ballot in the box, took my sticker, stormed out of there, told the pollwatchers outside what had happened to me, went home and called the Ohio Voter Fraud hotline that had been set up.

To this day I wonder if that man intimidated anyone out of voting.

[livetohike]

22. In the hospital room with my Dad who was dying from cancer

He was conscious and angry that he couldn't vote. He had his Kerry/Edwards button pinned to his hospital gown.

We didn't expect him to be in the hospital and therefore, did not get him an absentee ballot. It is the first election of his life that he missed.

When the Dr. asked him who won the election (she was checking his lucidity). He answered "Dumbo". He would not say Bush's name despite her asking him three times. She looked at me and I said, "That's what he always called him."

[ultraist]

23. oh, my, a day you will never forget

In the hospital room with my Dad who was dying from cancer
He was conscious and angry that he couldn't vote. He had his Kerry/Edwards button pinned to his hospital gown.


:cry:


:hug:

[livetohike]

24. Thanks for the hug - even though it is nearly a year

since he died, it isn't any easier :cry:.

When he kept saying "Dumbo" to the Doctor, I just laughed. She laughed too, but she was concerned about his lucidity.

[ultraist]

25. It will get easier. I promise.

A year is not very long and the first year anniversary time is very difficult.

My dad died in Nov from cancer, nineteen years ago.
I still miss him and cry sometimes and although the pain never totally goes away, it becomes much more manageable.

Your dad sounds like a wonderful person. I'm glad you have fond memories to hold on to. You will always have those and he will always live on in your heart.

[livetohike]

31. Sorry for the loss of your Dad too ultraist

My Grandpa (Dad's Dad) died in Nov. 1979 from pancreatic cancer. Same for my Dad. Nov. is a sad month. I just lost my favorite Uncle - the burial is today, but I am here in CA and he is in CT.

[BlueIris]

26. Oh, man. Hugs from me, too.

I'm totally crying about your post.

[livetohike]

32. Thanks for the hug and just keep thinking "Dumbo"

that's what I do :-).

[tallahasseedem]

37. I am so sorry for your loss.

:hug:

[eowyn_of_rohan]

27. I was driving to the polls right about....now.

I had been pumped since the week before, when we had a gigantic Kerry-Edwards rally here in Madison, and Bruce (the Boss) had come, and the Foo Fighters, and it was a gorgeous fall day (just like today)...

When I went to vote, I was so upbeat and excited, and had a strong feeling that Kerry was going to win. So did most of us, and so did Ted Kennedy, and others on TV, remember? Then things started going weird...very weird.

And then of course I spent the rest of the month and year and until January 20 feverishly researching and analyzing poll data, and delving into the depths of BFEE and the neocon mafia that has taken over our country... and printing posters and writing on bathroom walls and rage-rage-raging against the dying of the light

Those sudden drops from high hope, optimism, and happiness to rage and despair are not healthy.

pictures and story from our rally
http://www.jsonline.com/news/state/oct04/270587.asp

[cry baby]

28. This day last year I was on cloud nine, polls w/ Kerry ahead.

I knew our country was about do be re-directed onto the right (read: correct) path.

What a stab in the gut I felt about 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning on the 3rd. Cried for days. Felt like giving up.

[VolcanoJen]

34. Biting my nails in Ohio.

It's, what, about 3:15 pm as I write this. I think I was pretty excited about those infamous exit polls at about this time, but I was really holding my breath, because I knew it all hinged on Ohio, and I was so nervous we wouldn't pull it off.

That was one of the saddest days of my life. I feel a little painful twinge just thinking about it now.

[LostinVA]

35. Turning 40 and getting drunk on Guinness

It was a REALLY, REALLY sucky birthday for me.....

[helderheid]

36. I was going to help at a poll but when I got there they didn't need me

anymore... I was SO excited ... and scared to death since I knew 1/3 votes cast would be electronic.

[Generator]

39. Right here

Stay at home mom. Picking the kids up from school. Horrible rainy day-so so dark and grim. Saw people standing in front of drop off sites (we have vote by mail) in this horrible driving rain so people would know where to drop off their ballots. That feeling, anxious and knowing that Americans were going to take their country back from this rotten cabal. Read the first exit polls, saw the lines on the news, and of course, they were waiting to vote for Kerry or at the least VOTE BUSH OUT.

I don't think I'm ever going to get over 11/2/2004. I suppose some feel that way about 2000 election or the Iraq war. I certainly have my questions about 9/11 that I can't let go of. But that day sealed something for me. Went for a walk today-nice day so far-and realized I'm not sad anymore. I'm just angry. And America is never going to be the same for me. I think Kerry won and my vote didn't matter. Is this a Democracy? How can I live in that denial? I don't know if I will ever vote for President again. I can't live with the charade. And I saw another OHIO license plate on my walk. I'm never going to forget Ohio. All those people, many of them Black who never voted before, wating for hours. Being cheated out of their rights as citzens. Are they going to vote again? Does our vote count? I remain haunted by the ghost of 2004. The day America stopped being a full Democracy for me.

[Sapphocrat]

41. Worst day of my life since 9/11...

I'd already voted absentee -- and that in itself was so gloriously satisfying, just to see Kerry's name on the ballot...

My mom stayed up to watch the returns with me as long as she could, and then I spent the night alone in front of the tube, occasionally checking DU. (I couldn't take too much of DU at a time -- it was too much of a rollercoaster ride.)

By early morning, it was a done deal. I don't think a single day passed over the next two weeks that I wasn't in tears. (I can get to that point of despair again if I visualize exactly where I was and what I was doing -- so I don't.) I couldn't work, I didn't eat much, and what little sleep I got, in fits and starts throughout the days, was the result of sheer exhaustion.

I was so angry with Kerry. I'm still angry with him. I felt then, and feel now, that he betrayed America. I had to hold my nose to vote for him in the first place (sorry, Kerryites, it's the truth), and after all the cajoling I did to get other people to believe in him, and vote for him, he gave up with hardly a whimper.

My mood -- over the Selection, and about the vast majority of Democratic leaders -- has been dark ever since. It's very difficult to generate hope about anything anymore, because I've been disappointed (what an understatement!) so many times. The DeLay indictments, the Libby indictment, Harry Reid's stand yesterday... I recognize just how significant these things are, how important they are. They've all made me momentarily happy (and Reid singlehandedly made me proud to be a Democrat again) -- but I'm just too afraid to allow myself that nearly orgasmic spark of real hope I felt in the days before Selection '04.

Mind you, I still keep doing what I should be doing as a responsible liberal -- trying to educate the clueless, writing letters, making pro-Dem designs for the gear I sell, and trying not to bring too much of my negativity here. I try to channel my sorrow into healthy, productive, noviolent anger.

But I'm still stunned by how devastating a blow it was. And still is.

P.S. Condolences and empathy to the fatherless here. My adored (and yellow-dog Dem) dad will have been gone 15 years this December -- and my mother and I often say, at least he didn't have to see what's become of his beloved country.