My silent encounter with a Freeper. (Worth a thousand words.)

Vektor

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Sun Oct-02-05 12:31 AM
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My silent encounter with a Freeper. (Worth a thousand words.)

Edited on Sun Oct-02-05 12:34 AM by Vektor

Yesterday, I paid a visit to my local county Democratic headquarters to pick up some literature on some of our local candidates and touch base with my friends who work there.

Mind you, I live in the reddest of Repuke hick towns. We're not talking wealthy fiscal conservatives here, but redneck, inbred, bible-thumpers with hydraulically lifted pick-up trucks often sporting an array of bumper stickers ranging from the confederate flag, to nudie silhouette mud flaps with visible nipples, to "Jesus Loves You" to "If you don't like my driving dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT," to of course, "BUSH/CHENEY" -- usually all on the same vehicle.

The Dem office is located in a shopping center type arrangement with about 4 or 5 other store fronts that share the same lot. As I was leaving headquarters with my arms full of papers and what not, a car pulled into the lot and parked next to my vehicle. A very terse looking middle aged woman with ENORMOUS red hair and an obscene amount of gold jewelry and make-up got out of the car, slammed the door shut, and glared up at the "DEMOCRATIC HEADQUARTERS" sign, then down at me and curled her paper-thin upper lip in disgust, resembling an end-stage Elvis. Figuring she could use some cheering up since she looked SO FOUL, I smiled brightly, and said, "HI! How are you?"

She furrowed her brow, defiantly threw her burgeoning metallic gold purse over her beefy shoulder, her long blood-red dragon lady acrylic nails clicking rhythmically like chopsticks, and shoved past me with only a grunt. She stopped one last time to shoot daggers at the Democratic Headquarters sign as if she could blow it off the side of the building with mind bullets.

As she viciously stormed into the shop next door, I totally lost it and just started laughing hysterically right there in the middle of the parking lot. Suddenly, I noticed a couple about my age standing across the row of cars, looking at me with an amused expression. The man said "Wow, what was HER problem?!?"

Though I had a hunch, I just shrugged and said through gales of laughter, "I don't know, apparently she is NOT a very happy woman!"

We all laughed about this a bit, then, when I went to get into my car, I stole a look at Ms. Congeniality's vehicle, a opalescent white Cadillac, and noticed with more than a hint of mirth that her back bumper sported the requisite BUSH sticker, and even better...

...her personalized license plate bore a cleverly misspelled paraphrasing of the term "GODLY ONE."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

As I drove home, I felt an amused sense of satisfaction from that whole exchange, but couldn't quite figure out why at first.

Then it dawned on me.

Yes, she's a miserable person who clearly wallows in self-loathing.

Yes, her sense of entitlement allows her to call herself "GODLY", yet she cannot even return a smile and a hello, just because she assumes things about me because she saw me come out of a Dem office. (Nice Christian attitude there.)

Yes, she had REALLY BAD REPUBLICAN HAIR AND NO LIPS.

There were a whole lot of reasons to laugh at her rotten behavior, but by far the best part about the whole exchange was the fact that to impartial observers who witnessed our exchange, it was painfully obvious that SHE was the one with the problem and not me!

The moral of the story is, sometimes it CAN feel good to take the high road, even if deep down, you really just want to kick someone in the cooter.

O8)