Jonah Goldberg thinks he is a hero

[Uncle Joe]

http://www.nationalreview.com/goldberg/goldberg200506280755.asp

"About a month ago, I helped a Muslim woman with her groceries in a supermarket parking lot. She was dealing with her kids and her shopping cart started to roll away from her car with the groceries still inside. As it rolled, I saw a decent society of tolerance and kindness rolling away. The cart’s one wobbly wheel — going chapocketa, chapocketa, chapocketa — was onomatopoetically tapping out a small drumbeat for the forced march to oblivion of all we hold dear."

Personally, I don't think he could have made it across the parking lot without getting hit by an suv and on top of that he could not carry Al's jockstrap.

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[madrchsod]

3. you should warn the faint of heart....

that is not a pretty picture you just typed

[Malikshah]

5. OK...I'm now a victim of hysterical blindness

n/t

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

8. No it's not...

It's the sound of Walter Mitty's hydroplane engine:

"WE'RE going through!" The Commander's voice was like thin ice breaking. He wore his full-dress uniform, with the heavily braided white cap pulled down rakishly over one cold gray eye. "We can't make it, sir. It's spoiling for a hurricane, if you ask me." "I'm not asking you, Lieutenant Berg," said the Commander. "Throw on the power lights! Rev her up to 8500! We're going through!" The pounding of the cylinders increased: ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa. The Commander stared at the ice forming on the pilot window. He walked over and twisted a row of complicated dials. "Switch on No. 8 auxiliary!" he shouted. "Switch on No. 8 auxiliary!" repeated Lieutenant Berg. "Full strength in No. 3 turret!" shouted the Commander. "Full strength in No. 3 turret!" The crew, bending to their various tasks in the huge, hurtling eight-engined Navy hydroplane, looked at each other and grinned. "The Old Man'll get us through," they said to one another. "The Old Man ain't afraid of hell!" . . .

"Not so fast! You're driving too fast!" said Mrs. Mitty. "What are you driving so fast for?"

[ronnykmarshall]

11. What a little worm.

[comsymp]

22. Cute card, Ronnie... don't think I've seen that site before-

but can't help wondering why they also didn't list "LBJ's bastard son" on his Asses of Evil card~

[getmeouttahere]

2. What's with all the hatred towards Cambridge?

are you drunk or something, Jonah? Even I know it can be a little snooty there, but I'm making a very broad generalization, which is unfair.

[FreedomAngel82]

4. How does he know that she's a Muslim?

[ComerPerro]

6. How arrogant of him

A rich, white, conservative male, to assume that he knows what minorities, especially musilms, are going through in todays political climate.

Granted, it sounds as though the woman's story was over the top with the symbols, but it doesn't change the fact that Goldberg is a pathetic douchebag.

[Uncle Joe]

7. He has an empathy deficiency

to him, it is impossible to walk in another's shoes.

[ComerPerro]

9. More like unnecessary

He probably doesn't see any reason to "walk in their shoes"

[wicket]

10. He's mocking Al Gore

What an ass Goldberg is :eyes:

[Mz Pip]

12. What a guy!

He helped someone with their groceries. It must have been such an unusual occurance for him that he just had to write about it.

Most decent people don't give a second thought to lending a helping hand in situations like this. Not Jonah.

So he wants to be thanked. Ok. Thank you Jonah for being the face of opportunism and partisan rancor. We need more people like you on this planet. :sarcasm:

Mz Pip
:dem:

[wolframtarant]

13. Haha!

C'mon, you guys, it's clearly a sarcastic story! He's just making fun of the woman who wrote into the NYT about Al picking up her keys, he doesn't really think he's a hero! :P Not to defend him in general, just wanted to clear that up if anyone thought he was being serious.

[Mz Pip]

14. Of course it's sarcasm

Sarcasm meant to trash Al Gore.

Thing is. It's not even funny. He just comes off as being a twit who is trying too hard to be funny while getting in his partisan vitrol at the same time. Not that they are mutually exclusive. Good political humorists do it all the time. Jonah is just a failure at it.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[Hello_Kitty]

18. There are no good conservative political humorists

At least not the current variety that I've seen lately. Some of the oldtime true conservatives could be funny but Goldberg, Coulter, et al are caustic bullies. While it's said there's a kernel of cruelty in all comedy, unmitigated hatred just isn't funny. Plus, they are incredibly unoriginal, as evidenced by Jonah's attempt at sarcasm and satire. And neo-cons take themselves far too seriously to be able to pull off a light touch, or gawd forbid, self-deprecation.

[Uncle Joe]

17. Exactly, I should have used a sarcasm symbol in

my title, he is just trashing this muslim woman's feelings that Al Gore was courteous to, because anything that sheds a positve light on Al has to be shot down quickly by the neocons and their media prostitutes. Check out "Veiled Praise" on the editorial board for a first hand account from this lady.

[GregW]

15. Remind me again why Jonah isn't serving in Iraq?

:shrug: :sarcasm:

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

16. Who the hell is Jonah Goldberg, and am I missing anything by not knowing?

[getmeouttahere]

19. Not really missing much....

although I thought he was the one that wrote "Hitler's Willing Executioners-Ordinary Germans & The Holocaust" which would make his support of BushCo extremely ironic, to say the least

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

20. What, some "prominent conservative 'thinker'"? Writes for Nat. Rev?

[MisterP]

21. who told Lucille's Brat that he could open his pie-hole and spatter

stupid juice all over the place?!

[sb43221]

23. A hero?

For doing the right thing? If you listen to Garrison Keillor and your mother, you do the right thing because it's just that - the right thing. And the less you say, the better. The world is a better place because people engage in selfless acts of kindness. He's a selfish little man.

[11 Bravo]

24. Johah definitely has Mommy issues.

Of course, he was breast-fed until age 25 by that hideous old harridan Lucianne. I guess I can cut him a little slack. But then on second thought, nah, fuck him.

[Mr_Spock]

25. Jonah Goldberg is a sorry ass dim wit

Just like DUMBYA. His attempt at irony is not funny.