New and exciting uses for your TASER, or other stuff.

[Tyler Durden]

Poll question: New and exciting uses for your TASER, or other stuff.

This just warms the cockles of my sick little heart, but then again, what do you expect from a guy whose idea of TV entertainment is watching the latest version of "The Dipshit Hour," starring whichever chance-taking, adrenaline junkie, brain damaged fool is risking his/her life/limb in some DELIGHTFUL activity like BASE jumping off a cliff into a stream without checking how deep the water is.

Hey, I want some RETURN on the Tax Investment I make in LIFEFLIGHT, running out in some chopper to pick up the pieces of these guys to glue them back together so they can jump off the cliff again ("It's what I LIVE for!")

Anyway, the TASER. If you don't see your particular fantasy on the list, feel free to make one up. I am feeling particularly brutal today: I just about threw the clock radio out the window because I woke up to the Bush quote on NPR from the speech in Georgia: "Laura and I were just in the neighborhood..."

Not that I would actually DO any of these things...On the other hand, if "Pay Per View" had a special on....

[Tyler Durden]

1. HEY I got another one!

Dental Drill. TWO hits for the price of ONE.

[htuttle]

2. Empty an entire pond of fish in seconds flat

...with far less noise than dynamite!

[Tyler Durden]

3. FISH never did ME any harm. HOWEVER...

If you're talking rePuke Bastard + Swimming hole...

[htuttle]

4. What do you suppose the record is...

...for vertical leaps out of a jacuzzi?

I'm thinking about 10-12 feet, given appropriate stimulus...

[Tyler Durden]

5. Good Idea.

Clorinated water, high conductivity.

10-12 feet, no sweat.