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from my Dec. 12, '04 post on the subject:
nah, what happened is....be warned, i'm about to expose you to the utter stupidity of the pro-wrestling world...this is my limited understanding of the situation:
the ultimate warrior's original name was jim helliwig. he had it legally changed to ultimate warrior...i have no clue what his motives were. anyway, he wrestled for wwf for a few years, was really hot in the pro wrestling world, at which point wcw copied the act, which promptly fell flat on it's face (the guy that copied the act was the one who died, hence the confusion). hulk hogan was hired by wcw, and to bolster wcw sales, he convinced wcw to hire ultimate warrior to create fan interest.
this was about the time of n.w.o. anyway, ultimate warrior got a seven figure contract for wrestling hogan & nwo, he started a faction called one warrior nation (o.w.n.) that included the "warrior signal" (much like the bat signal from batman, except based on the facepaint pattern the warrior wore) being beamed into the rafters of the arena they were wrestling in to "call" the warrior to the ring, and requested that trapdoors be placed in the ring so he could make spectacular entrances/exits. the trapdoor was the reason that davy boy smith AKA the british bulldog had a spine injury (suplexed on the trapdoor), became addicted to barbituates, and died about two years ago from a drug overdose. i'm not making this up.
if you do not have a line of saliva running out of your mouth and onto your chest at this point from the sheer stupidity of what i am posting....you have my admiration. this must be the intellectual equivalent of spending thanksgiving with republican relatives.
anyway, wcw realized that the ultimate warrior was....ultimately not making them any money. so they canned him. wwf didn't want him back because they were moving in a different direction that didn't include guys with dayglo paint on their face and fringy arm bands.
on top of that, wwf and wcw knew that that the artist formerly known as jim helliwig was totally nuts. he had a comic book created based on his ultimate warrior character (now his legal name) that showed him handcuffing and beating a semi-naked santa claus. (i need some friggin therapy for writing this, and you need some therapy for reading this far) in his performance, he also liked to throw out the term "destructicity" which no one to this day has any clue as to what it means, but the ultimate warrior believed that this was the mystical source of power that caused him to both legally change his name from jim helliwig...to you know what, and justify the mind numbing stupidity that plagued his on-air performance. again, i am not making this up. i could go further, but i'm nearly out of evan williams, and this is thirsty work.
so now he is the spokesperson for college conservatism. i read the page in the link from the original post: it made no sense whatsoever, and had the stability and clarity of jaegermeister jello shooters, and about the same effect.
print this post. but don't read it ever again. if any of your kids/brothers/sisters/cousins/friends come back from an ultimate warrior rally preaching the teaching of the ultimate warrior. give this to them, it should explain everything.
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