Voters - We're in more trouble than I imagined!

[liberal N proud]

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.". . . .. . She also votes!

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific." . . . . . . He also votes!.

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the admin. assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving." . . . . She also votes!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. . . . . . . My sister also votes!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. . . . . He also votes!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. . . My friend also votes!

My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?" To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think we add tax to the turkey." . .. . The clerk also votes!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?" . . . . . She also votes

[Avalux]

1. Can I add one -

a coworker suggested we email employees to let them know the email server was down - he also votes. :wtf:

[dbt]

3. Let me also add one.

1974. Radio station antenna struck by lighting and damn near vaporized. No spare parts, of course. The second day that we're off the air, I'm sitting in the control room playing the banjo.

New Owner sticks his head in and says I need to make an announcement that we're OFF THE AIR. Do not know to this day if he could find a voting booth.

[BiggJawn]

12. Same thing happened to me...

We went off the air because a tube let go and it was coming in air express...(ah, the days of all-hands-on-deck, blood-on-the-floor...Don't miss 'em!)
Anyway, the receptionist telss us she just took a call from an irate who wanted to know where "her program" was. Upon being informed that the transmitter was busted, caller said "Well, shouldn't you put up a slide or something, to let us know you're off the air?"

And I can GUARRANTEEE you this was a GOP voter...If her husband let her vote in the first place, that is.....

[izzie]

9. I once know a women that said this to me.

I am an artist and paint and she asked how I got the boats reflections in the picture as when she paints boats the reflections never turned up in her water.I told her the sun was not in the right place and if she waited they would.

[Avalux]

11. LOL!

Wonder if she's still waiting? :crazy:

[dbt]

2. If you could buy Stupid Futures on the stock market,

I would've mortgaged the farm three times by now!

[SoCalDem]

4. A friend once turned down tire rotation

when she bought 2 new tires, because they "rotate" whenever she drives :eyes:

she thought "the guy was trying to rip her off"..

[Junkdrawer]

5. Well take heart, they stopped counting all those votes...

There, feel better now?

[Junkdrawer]

14. Oh, that also means they don't count YOUR vote, but it's worth it...

to make sure stupid people's vote don't count!

[Warpy]

6. Harvard grads back in Boston asked me what kind of visa I needed

when I told them I was moving to New Mexico. They not only vote, they'll end up running things.

The human race is not smart.

[SoCalDem]

7. We once lived in Michigan City, Indiana

and my mother constantly told people we lived in Michigan :eyes:

[matt819]

8. What party?

Of course, you don't specify whether these Darwin Awards prospects are republicans or democrats. We all assume the former. What is truly frightening is that if you asked (and if these morans voted), we would almost certainly find out that our assumption was correct.

[Swamp Rat]

10. LOL! n/t

:D

[bermudat]

13. First laugh of the morning!

That was as funny as Morning Sedition.

[Goathead]

15. People ask where I am from and I respond "Virginia Beach"

I've actually had numerous people come back with "West Virginia?" :crazy: To which I respond "No, the proper one" and then they don't know what the hell I am talking about.

[demnan]

16. It's almost like they're putting stupid drugs in the water -

people are getting dumber every year. I'd say the dismal school system in this country shares some blame, but mostly we're in the second generation of real stupid, so the parents don't even know what the kids are missing.

Of course our masters like it that way.

[Jim__]

17. Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw

"If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people"

[CornField]

18. You live in Iowa? Are you near Cincinnati?

Uhmmm, no. That would be Ohio.

Oh, you live in the state where they grow potatoes!

Uhmmm, no. That would be Idaho.

:eyes:

And my ex-husband: "Honey, I've made a decision. I'm either gonna stay or I'm gonna go." (Yeah, he votes.)