Leave my SHOES ALONE!

[Protagoras]

I flew again this week. As I did so I was suprised that the security which, up till last October had just been retarded and obnoxious had become (according to the security guard who I questioned) Downright insanely intrusive.

Apparently, as of last fall, every passenger going thru security must now remove their shoes. Not as part of a periodic check...but as part of any entrance for every person.

Every person? This got me to thinking, and wondering....

We've had 1...yes...1 attempted and FAILED attempt to use a shoe as a weapon on a plane in the history of flight as far as I can tell...any data to the contrary would be appreciated.

Anyway so as I pondered this...1 event, by 1 nutberger, that failed ...has now been used as a reason (excuse) to require millions of people to hope around like barefoot clowns. It's been used to inconvenience and annoy countless people...in fact...how many people and how much inconvenience are we talking about?

Well according to Delta's site, they flew 109,999,636 people in 2004. Delta serves some overseas sites...but Delta is only one of many US airlines. So lets say somewhere between 100 and 300 million people in the next year? Average it out to 200 million shoeless people...200 million people in business suits, 200 million grannies with canes, 200 million people with athelets foot running around in the airport...

All because 1/ONE/UNO guy frantically trying to apply his bic lighter to a shoe has been used to induce panic in the entire population of this big country.

Can you ask about the Cost/Benefit? Can you say Risk assessment?

What are the odds we'll be struck by lightening, an asteroid, or die from a bee sting? What is the liklihood that I'll have a bundle of iron pipes fall off the back of a truck tomorrow and crush me in my car on the freeway? What are the odds that I'll have a freak bathtub drowning incident?

Well I'm not worried about any of those...and I don't take off my shoes for any of those things...nor do I routinely and publically inconvenience myself for these things. I do, however, appear to be required to worry about my shoe blowing up during flight.

This is absurd.

Moreover, as I reflect on it, I think it's nefarious. Yes a nutberger could use a shoe (or any other semi-solid object) to carry some plastik (sp?) explosive on an airplane. Apparently it isn't detected by the alarm system...

So if that's the case, what's to prevent myself from (please take no offense) stuffing it up my rectum? They haven't yet institued automatic cavity checks but if I'm a suicidal bomber I don't see why this would be a barrier to my insane plans (note I am not either suicidal nor a bomber, I'm just an annoyed American who's sick to death of intrusions to my person).

Seems to me we have a perfect example of the frog in the pot here. The intent is NOT to protect us. Face it, there are about 1000 things I could do that would be as or more effective than constructing a shoe bomb...but which would be far easier to carry out (no I won't even think of them or list them because that's probably a threat to someone)...So why would we begin the mighty de-shoeing crusade in every airport, forcing people to hop around like fools while security people are forced to endure the foul stench of gym socks for hours on end, every day, in every airport, without an end?

Simplest reason in my mind? Well it's either

A) to give us a very expensive and time consuming ILLUSION that they are doing SOMETHING...

or

B) A cynical attempt to get us used to doing anything, no matter how inane and rediculous they tell us to do because it has the label of "SECURITY" stamped on it. The warmup for the bigger events to follow.

My bet...it's both A & B. They pacify us with the thought that they are somehow really getting TOUGH (let someone try and mess with an airplane after forgetting to re-tie their shoes in security) AND they get the very convenient (and I believe forseen) side effect of proving to themselves that yes...we...the American public will pretty much follow any order they give like the good sheep they hope us to be.

Where do we go from here? I don't rightly know at the moment. I'm avoiding flying as much as possible, writing my letters on DU and to the Editor, and even to my rep...but I'm a small peep in a giant din of political machinery. I suppose I could just dismiss it...it's only a minor thing after all...and so is the RFID chip in my national ID card...I'm sure that having my library books tracked and having to show my papers to cross state lines will be too.

Perhaps I'll get used to it all...I probably just woke up too soon, and noticed the water heating up. But honestly, I'm not feeling like being poached...and I feel like we've only seen the first shoe start to drop here...and I don't look forward to seeing what will happen when the second one descends.

Random thoughts from a disgruntled flyer,

Prot.

[jeff30997]

1. "All because one guy frantically trying to apply his bic lighter to a shoe

If a nut put a stick of dynamite in his ass,imagine how fun it will become to travel by plane.

[Blue-Jay]

2. OK. That made me laugh.

[Walt Starr]

3. Shit! Now it'll happen!

DAMN!

[dmkinsey]

11. If the guy had been using a freakin' Bic

he probably would have succeeded. Nutberger was trying to light the fuse with MATCHES! Nobody ever accused him of being a rocket scientist.

[babylonsister]

17. Speaking of lighters, they too are now

banned supposedly. It only took 3 years for the powers that be to figure out lighters might be dangerous. :eyes:

[Protagoras]

18. But forks...and ceramic coffee mugs are ok

think someone could cause some mischief with those things? I think I'd rather be stabbed with a knife than a fork...hmmm decisions decisions..

[Sugarbleus]

24. OMG....ROFLMAO!!!!!!

LOL at the OP too..........

[walldude]

4. I fly all the time and the really funny thing about this is

that the security measures are different in different airports. I fly out of Denver, In January I was in L.A., Chicago, Atlanta and Philly. In Denver all people take off their shoes. Same with Chicago and L.A. In Atlanta you can leave your shoes on. In Philly you can leave them on if you are wearing sneakers. It's stupid. Hell, on my Chicago trip when I got to my hotel and opened my suitcase there was a note from TSA saying they took my bic lighter. They inspect only 20% of cargo that goes on passenger jets but they are checking my suitcase for lighters :eyes:

[Eric J in MN]

5. You might like this website...

http://www.stupidsecurity.com/

[idiosyncratic]

6. I sympathize and think you are on to something there

Two years ago I was flying with my elderly mother. We were in a small airport with only 30 people going through security in preparation to board the small turbo-prop plane.

Somehow I ended up going through security first. After passing through I put my keys back in my pocket and put my coat back on.

However, my mother was still on the other side and she needed some help getting her shoes off. The security person let me go through a side opening to help her. However, they made me go back through security, instead of back through the opening I had just gone through.

When I went through, of course, the beep went off because my keys were still in my pocket. They pulled me aside and now made me take my shoes off and go through a secondary screening with the wand.

It was ridiculous and unbelievably stressful for me. I was never out of their sight in the very small vestibule where the screening occurs as I helped my mother. I wondered if they were ever going to let me back on the other side so I could board the plane.

[jayctravis]

12. Makes sense though.

If someone were to get something disallowed past security, it would most likely be a sleight of hand thing. Pretend your keys were something dangerous. If your mom were your assistant, she could drop them easily into a suit jacket pocket and if you entered the gap you had exited through, it's technically a breach of security.

Yes, it sucks that the world is such that we need to pat each other down. What's next? Fly naked in airline-provided bathrobes?

[mermaid]

14. Yes

See my posting below. I have actually said, before you did...that flying naked was a part of my total airline security package.

and one of the only ways to REALLY be sure that everyone is not carrying anything bad.

[Protagoras]

15. Of course then we'd have to watch for physical abilities

Cuz even Naked some of those Pro-wrestler types could do a lot of damage (more than a box cutter) to we normal sized people sitting in coach. And Jet Li. We'd definately have to watch out for anyone who knew martial arts...even naked they might be able to kick out a window or something right?

Maybe it would be better if we just stopped people from moving around at all...we can have them all work locally in factories...(for minimum food rations of course) and then we'll be safe.

God my mind is spinning out of control. Read one too many books lately or something I'm sure.

[mermaid]

16. But My Plan Also Called For

placing the naked passengers into suspended animation for the duration of their flight.

Hell, wouldn't even have to do that, per-se...just make the pilot's deck airtight from the passenger compartment, and flood the passenger compartment with ether.

Knock 'em out for the duration of the flight. Everyone in the passenger compartment comatose during the flight. And naked, of course.

[linazelle]

22. "...naked passengers into suspended animation .." hilarious nt

[SpiralHawk]

7. Beware the Frumious Shoebomber

Shoebombers are going to get you.

they are everywhere, everwhere.

Beware the shoebomber, and his smelly socks.

[RC]

8. I have noticed that most airport security expect people to just

bend over to remove and put on their shoes. I make them get me a chair, even though I don't need one.

In the Tampa airport a few months ago, the security guy told me to remove my belt buckle. OK, I undid the belt, then unsnapped the two snaps holding it in place and removed the buckle. Seems he wanted me to remove my belt. too late, I had already complied with his request to remove the buckle. He let me go.

I do the minimum to comply, no more, no less, even when little Hitler is wanding me and the fillings in my teeth are setting the wand off off at 6 inches. I just look them in the eye to let them know they aren't intimating me.

[mermaid]

9. Ewwwwwwww!

"...What are the odds that I'll have a freak bathtub drowning incident?

Well I'm not worried about any of those...and I don't take off my shoes for any of those things..."

You take a bath with your shoes on?? :P

Hey, you know what?? If you file on the edge of an expired credit card for a bit, you can make a nice, sharp weapon out of it. and it fits right in the wallet where no one will ever see it...

Shit, there are so MANY things that can be used as, or perverted into weapons...it is impossible to get them all! Why do we insist on a nanny-state that tried to idiot-proof everything??

You can't carry a knife on the plane, but last week I flew, and I had a pinned on broach on my lapel...I coulda created some trouble with the pin on it, if I really WANTED to.

Hatpins, ballpoint pens, belt buckles, bobby pins, you name it...it can be made into, or used as...a weapon. The only way they will EVER make us completely safe is the following...

FLY NAKED!!!

ok, here's the way to do it, folks...

1. everyone flies naked.
2. no carryon luggage, except absolutely essential items...all of which are LOCKED into the overhead compartments, and they cannot be opened in-flight at all, period!
3. full body-cavity searches for everyone
4. all checked baggage to be opened and hand-searched. Then the bags are x-rayed to make sure no hidden compartments were missed.
5. place all passengers into suspended animation for the duration of the flight.

THEN we got a chance of idiot-proofing the airplane.

Until we do all THAT...there is no WAY to stop someone who is really determined!

BUT...do you really think, after 9/11...if anyone starts shit on the plane...that the passengers are gonna just SIT THERE and behave like good little monkeys, when they know in all likelihood, the hijacker's intent is a suicide mission, and they are ALL going to die??

Someone starts shit on a plane now, and they will likely have fifty or more passengers all over them! Five against 50? No contest, the fifty wins!

Gimme a break. Airport security is nothing more than a dumb-show to give the appearnce of DOING SOMETHING...about which they really can do nothing, as I have demonstrated. And a way for the government to fuck with you any way they want.

I avoid air travel when at all possible. I flew last week, first time in three years, and hopefully it will be three more before I EVER have to climb aboard one of those goddamn things again. Air travel just sucks. I'd rather drive.

At least my Toyota won't auger into a fucking cornfield at 600 MPH.

[Protagoras]

10. I've got some good chuckles here

but honestly I don't want to just laugh and blow it off. We're talking about mass transit here. And every little piece of our dignity we're giving up now is going to be hell to get back.

Is anyone actively running a campaign to put an end to this insanity? If not, then perhaps I'll start a site dedicated to it. I've got to do something to focus my outrage for the next couple years and I figure bringing sanity and dignity back to travelling safely in this country might be a fine start.

I'd give up on air transport entirely but I can't drive to europe when I finally have enough of this crap here.

Edit: perhaps a site where people could send in pictures with their cell phones showing the security guards hastling elderly people while they carefully ignore anyone who could put up a fight (i.e. when we fly I never get stopped while my 5'0" wife always is...and I usually see them sorting thru the luggage of some octagenerion as well...how many terrorists have we had over 80 years old?). I think a careful campaign of public exposure of their idiocy might have some media appeal...oh wait...that would require a media...with journalists...and I'm afraid we don't have that happening in this country either today.

Damn, I'm depressed now.

[mermaid]

13. I Dunno....

Last week, I flew out of Austin-Bergstrom...first time I flew in three years...and yes, I got the business.

Now, I am a nearly 6-foot tall woman, who, unfortunately, is built more like a linebacker than a lady.

I could put up a fight. 'Course, I won't...but PHYSICALLY speaking, I COULD...yet I got the business.

They went thru my purse, they were going to take my lighter, but when they saw that it was a butane lighter that produced a normal yellow flame, I was allowed to keep it....they said if it was a "blue torch" the kind where you can't see the flame, they woulda took it.

Of course, they couldn't possibly put my purse back together the way it was...only I can pack my purse properly....so I spent ten minutes in front of the security guards, re-packing my purse. They couldn't make it all fit, but I could!!

On the other hand, flying home two days later, out of Louisville-Standiford, I breezed right thru...no problems.

In both cases, I had no checked baggage, carry-on only...since I was only going to be gone for two days, there was no point in taking anything but a small suitcase. Just went up for my brother's wedding...

Anyway, my point being...I could put up a fight, yet I got the business.

Still, I can see where they may have been suspicious of me...no checked baggage, a lady built like a linebacker...tickets bought only 2 weeks in advance....

Well, anyway...if anyone REALLY wanted to create trouble on the plane, they could find a way...and all the security in the world wouldn't stop them.

Yet, after 9/11...do they REALLY think anyone's gonna get away with that sort of shit on a plane? No one is going to sit docilely, anymore. We passengers are going to be our own last line of defense.

And this lady linebacker will be leading the charge against anyone who starts screwing off on a plane.

Got time to spare?? Go by air!!

Hell, it's just plain ridiculous! I used to love flying. Sometimes, I did it as often as ten times a year. Now, I dread flying. No, I'm not afraid! If I thought for a second the plane was gonna crash, I wouldn't get on the damn thing in the first place. NO, it is the goddam SECURITY HASSLE that makes me hate flying...and avoid it whenever possible.

And this stupid bullshit about so-called "trusted traveler" cards?? How long do you think it'll be before a terrorist manages to snag one of those? This is such a joke....

[Gold Metal Flake]

19. Dayum! You have peeled the onion, and done so with humor.

Thank you for this. Nominated.

[hootinholler]

20. During my last trip...

I was carrying an overloaded laptop bag which I had a real problem closing. I was selected for the hand search treatment (they selected some random % for this).

As the guy was starting to open the document compartment, not really thinking, I said "careful with that, it might explode."

The guy looked at me with half-dollar sized eyes. I said, "oh, um, bad phrasing, I meant all the stuff will spill."

I was expecting sirens and the goon squad to come running in, but, he was cool about it.

-Hoot

[SammyWinstonJack]

21. Last time I flew which was in August I had too

remove my SANDALS! And I when I went through the metal detector , I was targeted for a very public and very embarrassing full on search, because of a medal pin on the outside of my blouse. Never again! If I can't get to where I want to go by no other means than flying, I don't need to be there!

[Must_B_Free]

23. I leave my shoes on

Honestly, I fly all the time and here is what I think is going on. Basically, I think they are trying to keep the line flowing faster.

They probably implemented this there because many people have metal bars in their shoes that set off the metal detector you walk through and they have then to go take their shoes off anyway and walk through the machine again.

Sometimes they ask you if your shoes are OK to avoid wasting the gateway time.

Sometimes they have shoe checker machines to see if your shoe is clear of bars while you are waiting in line.

In one airport they have the shoe checker, in another, a guy with a wand in the line will check and see if you need to take off your shoes.

This pretty much demonstrates that it's about getting through the metal detector more quickly.

Just tell them you know your shoes aren't the kind that set it off.

[Protagoras]

25. This was never an issue for me either till some new change

finally found the TSA website and it is apparently not the law that people remove their shoes...

http://www.tsa.gov/public/interapp/editorial/editorial_1050.xml

So we may have some sort of control feak thing circulating around a number of airports....then again a reading of this " You are NOT REQUIRED to remove your shoes before you enter the walk-through metal detector. However, TSA screeners may encourage you to remove them before entering the metal detector as many types of footwear will require additional screening even if the metal detector DOES NOT alarm."

Makes me think they've got a pretty screwy attitude based on some very loose wording...kinda like "SURE you don't HAVE to take off your shoes...but if you don't then we'll have to strip seach you..."

curiouser and curiouser...