Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

New Warning From Centers for Disease Control: Gonorrhea Lectim

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (Through 2005) Donate to DU
 
jazzjunkysue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 08:11 PM
Original message
New Warning From Centers for Disease Control: Gonorrhea Lectim
(pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

The Centers for Disease Control have issued a warning about a new virulent strain of
Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

Half the citizens of the U.S. have contracted it after being screwed for the past four years, in spite of their having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:

* anti-social personality disorder traits
* delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor
* chronic mangling of the English language
* extreme cognitive dissonance
* inability to incorporate new information
* complete disdain for anyone not rich and privileged
* pronounced xenophobia
* inability to accept responsibility for their actions
* exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado
* uncontrollable facial smirking
* ignorance of geography and history
* tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies
* and a strong propensity for categorical ... all-or nothing
behavior.

The disease is sweeping the American capital. Naturalists and
epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease
originated only a few years ago in Texas and is still not being
recognized for the danger it is by the evangelical half of the
population.

The Center is working on plans to quarantine the carriers. Until then, continue to educate yourself on prophylactate measures, and

May The Force Be With YOU.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
complain jane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 08:13 PM
Response to Original message
1. Only cure is The Rapture.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
jazzjunkysue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 08:25 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Worth a try!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Wed Oct 01st 2014, 05:58 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (Through 2005) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC