(Tacky) Inaugural menu...Bush orders French names struck, honor DONORS

[Bluebear]

I don't know about you, but this menu is tacky as shit.


WASHINGTON, DC;Just call him the "Iron Chef" of the White House. Executive Chef Walter S. Scheib III is facing a major culinary challenge: how to create an inaugural menu that pays tribute to the brand names of a dozen top Bush campaign and GOP donors. From Coca Cola to Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Pilgrim's Pride turkeys, Scheib's dishes must satisfy the most powerful appetite on Capitol Hill these days: the taste for money.

"I've never had to create dishes that include soda, doughnuts and canned fruit before," says Scheib, who received his training at the Culinary Institute of America, and cooked at the Capitol Hilton in Washington and the Boca Raton Club before accepting the honor of "top toque" in the White House kitchens. But he says he's not worried. "I've already changed the way I cook and have given up all French recipes. This should be a snap," says Scheib, referring to the White House's ban on béchamel and beurre blanc after France refused to support the administration's decision to go to war in Iraq.

But preparing a meal that includes not one, but two varieties of doughnuts can test the mettle of any chef, Scheib concedes. Krispy Kreme Inc. gave more than $90,000 to the Republicans in 2004, while Dunkin Donuts has been a long-time GOP supporter. (Note: That signals my last Dunkin Donuts visit.) Scheib's solution: use the Krispy Kremes as the basis for Snowballs in Hot Fudge, a sauce made from Nestlé Nesquick, the product of another major donor, Nestlé CEO and Bush 'pioneer' Joe Weller.

Dunkin Donuts old-fashioned cake doughnuts, meanwhile, will become part of a sweet and savory stuffing for an old-time turkey dinner. The birds: Pilgrim's Pride Whole Butter Basted Turkeys. Pilgrim CEO Lonnie Pilgrim was a Bush pioneer in 2004, pledging to bring in more than $100,000 in contributions to the Bush/Cheney campaign.

Figuring out how to incorporate Coca-Cola into the meal was an altogether different matter, says Scheib. "It's a refreshing cola beverage, there's no doubt about it. But how do you cook with it? I had no idea." In the end, Scheib used the Coca-Cola as the basis for a brine, thus killing two birds, so-to-speak, with one stone. The Pilgrim's Pride Whole Butter Basted Turkeys benefit from their overnight soda bath, while Bush 'ranger' Barclay T. Resler, Vice President of Government Relations for Coca-Cola, gets some much deserved credit for rounding up more than $200,000 in campaign contributions. The salad will be a "trio of Safeway greens".

http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2004/12/on_the_inaugura.html

[htuttle]

1. They're selling product placements in the inaugural dinner?

They still find things to do to that make me speechless.

I'm astonished. Again.

[Bluebear]

2. Incroyable.

Oops, that was French.

[Gman]

29. Sent me to dictionary.com twice

once for "incroyable" and then for "fop"!

[susanna]

59. As a lover of all things food,

I'm just plain disgusted. The aforementioned sh!t isn't fit for cooking ANYTHING with.

I used to occasionally buy a Krispy Kreme in emotionally stressful moments. Henceforth, I will make my own freaking doughnuts rather than give another cent to KK (or DD). Once I get a copycat recipe down, I'll post it far and wide. :-)

[alfredo]

80. Here

http://www.internationalrecipesonline.com/recipes/view.pl?3861

[WritersBlock]

82. Here's one to start with...

It's the creamy glaze that makes it!

http://breaddaily.tripod.com/krispykreme.htm

[leesa]

89. What is it with Krispy Kremes?? To me they are just vile. Way to sweet,

no substance and very greasy. I simply don't get it.

[Dulcinea]

97. Krispy Kremes are vile & disgusting.

They make me nauseous.

One more reason never to eat them.

[Dulcinea]

98. Money can't buy class.

Once again the Bushes illustrate that point, in spades.

I'm so ashamed of my fellow Americans who voted for these rejects from the "Beverly Hillbillies" casting call.

They're nothing but hicks with some gelt.

[Q]

3. When did the 'coronation' become a party for supporters...

...instead of for the people? Has it always been this way? Or so blatant?

[nostamj]

4. may they all choke and vomit copiously

into each others' laps.

it's a bush thing.

[Ken Burch]

67. Yes. That's why they have secret plans to follow the Roman custom

and build a banquet-sized vomitorium for the event.

[EC]

5. Sounds shitty

I wouldn't even taste any of the recipes he's described. ick...The coca-cola would have been better as a ham glaze. the crispy creames in a parfait with strawberries sounds better go me...anyway you look at it, it sounds like a lower class menu...using what ever is in the pantry to feed yourself when you're broke...




on edit: I wonder how these dishes will be described on the menu?

[Bluebear]

9. Click on the link & see the actual menu

It won't let me post it here nor download it. You won't believe your eyes.

[EC]

45. On laptop and can't really see it clearly

but what I can see looks like an advertisement for the companys I'll no longer buy from...

[aquart]

49. Dear God, they're serving BEER???

They spent $10,000 on dresses for drinking BEER??????

[EC]

57. Bush can't drink it..

couldn't see it too clear, what kind of beer? Coors? or Busche?

[Ken Burch]

68. If only Dubya forgets himself, starts chugging, and ends up in a toga...

While leading the Pioneers in an endless chorus of "Louie, Louie"!
After all, some of his Yale classmates swear that the character of Bluto in ANIMAL HOUSE was based on ol' Dub.

[EC]

70. I'd believe it

except the way Belushi played him - he was kinda lovable, can't say the same for *

[jmowreader]

99. Busch

Specifically Anheuser World Select Pilsner.

[leesa]

90. That's what I thought. Sounds like crap you make when you are either

too lazy or too poor to go to the store.

[gollygee]

6. Not sure if I can do anything more than roll my eyes

:eyes:

[Solly Mack]

7. That's just tacky

in addition to being just plain wrong


No one can say Bush isn't a whore....the menu proves it.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. ROFLMAO!

Except it's horrible and embarrassing as well as funny. A chef can't cook anything French, even though the best cooking is French -- hell, they just about invented cooking -- and instead he has to figure out how to come up with something edible made of doughnuts, soda pop and canned fruit. Yum. Sounds like lunch at the elementary school. I wonder whether the presentation of each dish will include a little sign stuck on a toothpick: "Doughnuts by Krispy Creme," and "Greens from Safeway". By the way, remind me to switch to Pepsi. Sacre bleu.

[Bluebear]

12. Better than the little toothpick signs.....

The donors and products are right on the menu! Click the link to see the menu. It reads like a tacky ad from Texas Food Packers Quarterly.

[Deja Q]

23. Sacre bleu or Sacrilege

:evilgrin:

[aquart]

50. High fructose corn syrup.

That menu is 80% high fructose corn syrup.

And turkey, a CHEAP meat which is SO appropriate but makes you sleepy.

And they're having this nutritious delightful meal before partying all night???

LOL!!!

[Sparkly]

10. Satire, right? I hope?

With that crowd, it's hard to know.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

18. That's the problem -- the Bush Reich is so bizarre, so over the top

and so capable of anything, that it's become very difficult to identify satire any more. On looking at the menu I'm now inclined to think it could be, since I can't imagine even the Bush White House serving a desert of Krispy Kremes with canned chocolate syrup. But who knows?

[spooked]

87. mini Pretzels on the menu...this MUST be satire

n/t

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

88. It's so true. They are so crazy, it could have been real,

rather than a joke. I believed it at first and pictured Mrs. Kennedy Onassis rolling around in her grave.

How nice it must have been back when she was around to have had a first couple that were examples of intelligence, culture, love of history, sophistication, wit and qualities like that instead of vulgar, bizarre, corporate -owned, wannabee "royalty."

[tanyev]

11. If I paid 250K for a ticket to an

inaugural luncheon, I would expect to eat a lot better than that.

[Ilsa]

37. Didn't his Rangers have hot dogs at one of their Texas

fundraisers? Give your $2,000, find a hundred others to give $2,000, and all you get is a nasty Ball Park weiner?

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

13. Stick a fork in me. After that post, I'm done.

Hot fudge sauce poured over Krispy Kremes?

We have the worst natural disaster in recent memory, soldiers who are still kids getting blown to pieces every day in Junior's occupation, an economy that sucks beyond words, and a chef whose mettle is being tested by the need to use two donuts.

God, do I long for January 21st.

:grr:

[Hoping4Change]

75. "stick a fork in me" LOL LOL LOL

Thanx for the laugh. (lets just hope they throw soem pretzels into the mix)

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

14. let them eat crap!

[tanyev]

15. OK, I think it's a satire site.

January 12, 2005
Cheerleading Pyramid Scandal Rocks Texas Town
Members of a Texas high school cheerleading squad are facing possible suspensions after they disrobed and created a nude human pyramid during the half-time of a football game. Their lawyer says the girls shouldn't be punished for doing what cheerleaders do all the time.

[Bluebear]

19. Well they got me.

I didn't even think twice that they would do something like that. And "Swift" is the name of a food packing concern. LOL...it's really well done!

[proud2BlibKansan]

30. Check this out - from that site

DOD Considers Magnetic Ribbon Armor Kits for Humvees

A newly organized political action group has been bombarding Donald Rumsfeld's office with magnetic ribbons to protest the secretary’s failure to provide troops in Iraq with enough armored Humvees. But military scientists say that the patriotic magnets may solve a critical supply problem. Covering the Humvees with magnets creates a magnetic force field strong enough to repel small arms fire.

[aquart]

56. Well damn,

So they really won't put their mouths where their money is?

[aquart]

58. "Deanna Swift" should have been a clue.

God, I'm slow.

[rwenos]

16. Quelle Merde de Taureau

Didn't anyone think that donuts are deep-fried, a technique invented in French cuisine? Or that donuts are really krullers, invented by the Germans? Or that "snowballs in hot fudge" is a variation of creme glace avec chocolat?

What a bunch of illiterate nimrods.

[tridim]

17. Hot fudge made from Nesquick?

Geez louise. Zero taste.

[bvar22]

24. Fudge Sauce from Nesquick need a little something else...

....about 2 pounds of Ex-Lax should do it!

[uppityperson]

20. menu here, yum, dunkin donuts stuffing!

First Course
Cedar plank "Pacific Seafoods" sockeye salmon in "Dole pineapple" sauce (Inspired by bush campaign pioneers* fran dulcich, ceo Pacific Seafoods and david h. murdock, chair & ceo Dole food co.)
Barra of Mednocino 2002 pinot blanc (chosedn by bill pauli, pioneer and owner, braren pauli winery)

Second course
pilgrins pride "whole butter basted turkey" brined in "coca-cola" and stuffes with sweet and savory dunkin donuts "old-fashioned cake donut" stuffing (inspired by pioneer lonnie pilgrim, char, pilgrin's pride corp., ranger* barclay t. resler, bp government relations coca-cola and dunkin donuts)
chimney rock 2000 reserve cabernet sauvignon, staps lead district (chosen by william a terlato, pioneer and ce, terlato wine group)

Third course
a trio of "safeway greens" (selected by steven a burd, pioneer and president, chair & ceo, safeway, inc)
anheuser world select pilsnet beer (august busch III, pioneer, chair & president anheuser-busch cos. inc)

Dessert
krispy kreme "snow balls" with nestle "nesquik" hot fudge sauce
asher's chocolate covered nini-pretzels (inspired by krispy kreme donuts, pioneer joe m weller, chair & ceo neslte usa, pioneer robert asher chair ashers candies)
dessert wimes from southern wine and spirits (selected by pieoneer larry ruvo, senior managing director, southern wines & spirits)

*pioneers are fundraisers who brought in at least $100,000 for the bush/cheney 2004 campaign, rangers brought in at least $200,000


Hmmm, the wines have French names, but at least there will be pretzels.

[AndyTiedye]

21. And All Those FatCat ReThugs Will Have to EAT IT

:evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

22. "Pilgrim's Pride" sounds like a chewable vitamin tablet... except it ain't

no vitamin, it's poison.

On the plus side, it's nice to see how the Grand Twit* and his cohorts will guzzle liquified sugar and artery-clogging donuts. (Yo, Agent Mike, you're looking for the wrong people. Along with pretzels, doughnuts, coca-cola, and all, your president is going to die of a HEART ATTACK and clogged arteries. So you'd better pull a Raquel Welch, get mini, get inside his pants, and zap clean those arteries... and don't let them immoral phagocytes stop you either. )

[pdxmom]

25. Dang...and it was almost my dinner time

After reading this, I don't think I can eat.

[paineinthearse]

26. Szechwan "Miss Beazly" Stir Fry

Szechwan "Miss Beazly" Stir Fry

Recipe By : Beef Industry Council/Bob b1744
Serving Size : 1 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Beef Chinese
Main Dishes Ethnic

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 Lb Dog Flank Steak
2 Tbsp Soy Sauce, Low Sodium
4 Tsp Sesame Oil -- divided
1 1/2 Tsp Sugar
1 Tsp Cornstarch
2 Cloves Garlic -- crushed
1 Tbsp Ginger Root -- minced
1/4 Tsp Red Pepper Flakes
1 sm Red Bell Pepper -- cut into 1 inch
8 oz Frozen Baby Corn -- defrosted
1/4 lb Pea Pods -- julienned
Hot Rice

Cut dog lengthwise into 2 strips; slice across the grain into 1/8 inch thick strips. Combine soy sauce, 2 tsp oil, sugar and cornstarch.; stir into dog meat.
Heat remaining 2 tsp oil in large skillet or wok over medium-high heat. Add garlic, ginger, and red pepper; cook 30 seconds. Add bell pepper and corn; stir fry 1 1/2 minutes. Add pea pods; stir fry 30 seconds. Remove vegetables. Stir fry dog strips (1/2 at a time) 2 to 3 minutes. Return vegetables and dog to skillet and heat through.

Serve with hot rice

Yield: 4 servings.

[tblue37]

72. Geez,

she really does look like the Joker, doesn't she? Especially the way that her facelift has tightened the mouth and eye areas.

[xxqqqzme]

81. too bad she can't sue the plastic surgeon

that did that 2 her face. tort reform 'n all

[madrchsod]

27. this is a joke-

cola goes on ham not turkey- brown sugar-carmel turkey?barf. donuts for stuffing? no way unless they are dried,big deal it`s bread dough. canned fruit? hot fudge from nesquick? ick... they really deserve this swill.

[PA Democrat]

28. Ha ! I hope Cheez Whiz gives * a BIG contribution

and Spam, and Captain Crunch cereal, and Kraft macaroni and cheese, and Pop Tarts.

[Ilsa]

33. You forgot Ralston-Purina. Let them eat dog food. n/t

[paineinthearse]

31. I hope they all choke

[sandnsea]

32. Two in one day

That's a first for me. The White House is really on a roll.

:puke:

[UdoKier]

34. OMG - HOW NAUSEATING.

Inaugural dinner full of coca-cola , Krappy Kreme Donuts, etc?

Sound's like a witch's brew of chemicals & preservatives to me.

Jeez, one would think that upon becoming president, you would get to eat GOOD food - and gourmet food SANS all French dishes? Sacrilege!

Have I mentioned tonight how much I hate these people?

[bumblebee1]

55. A diabetic's nightmare

not to mention all the sugar in coca cola and Krappy Kreme Donuts.

[Ilsa]

35. I hope they gorge themselves on the donut stuffing,

then have lots of fst dancing to do at the balls. Maybe half of them will drop dead from the excess of fat, alcohol, etc. Then maybe the others will develop gout. Serves them right.

By the way, since Nestle is involved, the sous chef should serve drinks mixed with infant formula.

[StephanieMarie]

36. I thought the party was supposed to honor the troops...not big donors

[Ilsa]

38. No, really, this is a big joke, right?

I mean, the whole "no french" thingy, crappy fast food from big donors, etc? I wonder if they are going to serve greasy lukewarm sausage and cheese McMuffins at the pResidential brunch that morning?

[PennyK]

39. If you DON'T think it's a satire site...

...just check out this headline:

Aircraft Laser Incidents Pinned on Gay Club-Goers

And may I also mention that "Swift" is also the name of a famous parodist?

[paineinthearse]

40. "The secret, Andy, is a good can of Crisco"

Welcome to "Ask the White House" -- an online interactive forum where you can submit questions to Administration officials and friends of the White House. Visit the "Ask the White House" archives to read other discussions with White House officials.


Roland Mesnier
White House Pastry Chef

July 27, 2004

Andy, from Lakeville, Minnesota writes:
I can't seem to make a pie crust worthy of my fish let alone a President. What's your secret to a great pie crust?

Roland Mesnier
The secret, Andy, is a good can of Crisco. And even the President will enjoy it.

Return to this article at:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/ask/20040727.html

[TreasonousBastard]

41. This has got to be a joke, and...

it's being quoted all over the web.

Smirking Chimp has a thread on it, anda little googling shjows it's a lot of other places-- all going back to this "blog"

(it is a pisser, though)

[paineinthearse]

42. Pilgrim's Pride: a website worthy of the turkeys in the west wing.

"Dunkin Donuts old-fashioned cake doughnuts, meanwhile, will become part of a sweet and savory stuffing for an old-time turkey dinner. The birds: Pilgrim's Pride Whole Butter Basted Turkeys. Pilgrim CEO Lonnie Pilgrim was a Bush pioneer in 2004, pledging to bring in more than $100,000 in contributions to the Bush/Cheney campaign."

See how the turkeys will be delivered to the White House kitchen - http://www.pilgrimspride.com/bosworld/telbovision.aspx

Then be sure to "drop in" on "Bo's World" -http://www.pilgrimspride.com/bosworld/default.aspx

[LizW]

43. Oh, please don't let this be a joke

This is just too perfect.

[aquart]

60. Sadly.

Yet, amazingly believable.

I swallowed whole.

[LizW]

64. Me too. I called my mom and read it to her

and we howled with laughter. :D

[The Backlash Cometh]

44. 40 million dollar inaugural and all they need is a short order cook.

What does that say about American food products?

[hangemhigh]

46. Would you like Freedom Fries with that? nt

[Lydia Leftcoast]

47. Look at the rest of the site: it's satire, but very subtle satire

What's sad is that it's so believable.

[Bluebear]

48. I bought into it immediately

You can't tell what stunt this gang will pull next.

[yodermon]

63. AWESOME site.

This is satire designed to go right over the freeper's heads.
eg
http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/01/good_news_for_g.html

Good News for Gonzales: New Poll Shows Most Americans Think 'Some Torture' OK

President Bush's candidate for attorney general, Alberto Gonzales, got a boost today with the release of a poll indicating that most Americans back his position on torture: it's ok to induce physical agony in individuals suspected of crimes, if it is for a good reason.

Support for torture highest among viewers of Fox News Channel.

A poll released this week shows that a majority of Americans share the position of President Bush's nominee for attorney general when it comes to torture: it's ok when done for the right reasons. Results of the poll are seen as an important boost to the candidacy of Alberto Gonzales, Bush's choice to replace the outgoing attorney general, John Ashcroft.

The poll, based on 2,130 telephone interviews conducted over the past 2 weeks, found that 53% of Americans say that some torture is acceptable when used by "our guys" to extract information from "enemies." 37% said that they were opposed to torture, while 6% said that they had no opinion on the matter. Those results, say experts, show that the majority of Americans share an opinion that is more in line with the Bush administration than the liberal media would have us believe.

Pro Bush, pro torture
"It makes sense that you have roughly the same percentage of people supporting Bush that support torture," says Gary Schweid, an advisor to the White House on legal affairs. "While the media has really come down hard on Gonzales for his role in shaping the policy on torture, this poll shows that what we're talking about here is pretty mainstream stuff. I wouldn't be all that surprised to find that the same people who are torture opponents are also opposed to the war."

[Hoping4Change]

76. Your right the site is awesome. Did you see the following poll?

What reform do you most want the Bush administration to enact in 2005?

abolishment of the Clean Air Act

amnesty for white-collar criminals

privatization of social security

introduction of a flat tax

lowering the drinking age

repeal of the 20th amendment



View Results


Brought to you by
The Swift Report

http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/health/index.html

[genieroze]

51. Good, now I know what to boycott. n/t

[Fleshdancer]

52. oh. my. god.

that's absolutely HORRIBLE.

[Gloria]

53. Bush has inspired me to try to relearn my French....the clod

should be hoisted to the top of the Statue of Liberty and dropped into the path of a ferry...

[GRLMGC]

54. Wow, they're so classy

I'm not even close to rich and I can see that that's tacky as fuck. Man, even the poorest of the poor could probably see that too.

[smirkymonkey]

61. White Trash Food for a White Trash Administration....

Is that why they live so bloody long? All those preservatives in the food they shove down their big ugly pie holes?

[ComerPerro]

62. so juvenile

[yodermon]

65. Le Menu:

[LynnTheDem]

66. Not just France; 161 nations did not support bush's invasion.

And of course as we all SHOULD KNOW by now, of the 39 nations who did "support" bush's invasion, NOT ONE of them had a population majority that supported bush's invasion.

[_NorCal_D_]

69. Mmmmm Doughnut Stuffing

:puke:

[Rex]

71. Corporate bliss here we come!

Eat shit and die free-market society!

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

73. Barf!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Canuckistanian]

74. This is a joke, right?

C'mon, really? Isn't this really The Onion or a parody?

[Hoping4Change]

77. It is a joke, though I didn't realize it till yoderman pointed it out

The site (swiftreport)is awesome.

[Canuckistanian]

84. Phew! I almost thought the WH had finally imploded.

From the weight of all the greed and hypocrisy.

[Hoping4Change]

86. But the scary thing is that given the morans occupying the WH

the story is pausible, that given this admin it does not sound far-feteced.:crazy:

[Kellanved]

78. But Nestle is OK?

That's fascinating. Switzerland didn't support the war either.

But truth be told: that menu sounds like something only Bush supporters could like- blech.

[jmowreader]

79. This sounds like some shit you cook on your iron in the dorms...

and not Official Gourmet Fare Worthy of a State Dinner.

I would imagine that in addition to banning bechamel and beurre blanc, Bush also banned mirepoix...a Culinary Institute of America grad would rather have his penis amputated than give up mirepoix.

When Chef Scheib's child was asked to play "who is your daddy and what does he do" in kindergarten, he told the class that his daddy is a piano player in a gay whorehouse. "Is this true?" said the teacher. "No, he makes me say that, he doesn't want me to tell anyone he cooks for George Bush."

[sphincter]

83. Please please please

...tell me this is a joke.

[Lostnote03]

85. Snake Oil will be used for the PORK RINGS!!!!

[drthais]

91. WTF?

A TURKEY stuffed with DOUGHNUTS!!!!!!!!??????????????????
how crass

and SAFEWAY GREENS?
nothing organic there
no such thing as 'safeway greens'

the whole thing is gross

these people have not one iota of class

[peacebird]

92. o.m.g....

use the Krispy Kremes as the basis for Snowballs in Hot Fudge, a sauce made from Nestlé Nesquic... use Dunkin DOnuts in STUFFING... soak turkeys in COKE?

:puke:

sounds nauseating...

[GoSolar]

93. Bush is a no-class idiot.

In adddition to his other traits...

[notadmblnd]

94. I see pretzels are on the menu

could this be a good thing?

[Karenina]

95. Satire is dead.

We're so far down the rabbit hole...

[mitchum]

96. What? No vienna sausages or fishsticks?

[jmowreader]

100. They forgot Poland!

One would think that after the big stink Bush made about forgetting Poland, they'd be able to find some kielbasa or something that was made by a Pioneer's meat packing plant.