So....how is your marriage holding up?

[Vickers]

So far, mine seems to be weathering this latest attack on the institution rather well. I thought I'd be all gay and stuff by now.

/sarcasm

[skooooo]

1. lot's of confusion since this gay talk....

...it's thrown my marriage in dissarray. We're both confused and unsure of our roles now. Neither of us are gay, but what if we were? Any suggestions?

[freetobegay]

2. Take turns being daddy!

:evilgrin:

[skooooo]

5. I don't have any practice.....

...guess I could learn, if it would help the marraige.

[union_maid]

3. We were concerned that it was undermined

We thought that the gay marriages were undermining our hetero marriage, but as it turned out it was just low blood sugar. Having dinner handled it. How long do you think we should give it before we can tell for sure if undermining is taking place?

[Walt Starr]

4. My wife and I are contemplating divorce

After all, marriage as we know it has been forever destroyed, so we thought we'd get our divorce in right now and beat the rush.

/sarcasm

[skooooo]

6. Makes sense....

...We'll just have to find something else to distinguish ourselves until the gays come along and destroy it again.

[union_maid]

10. We already dress badly

I really don't know what else we can do.

[skooooo]

13. Right, next they'll want to dress like us...

...when will this ever end??

[Puglover]

14. BWAHAHAHAHA

I'm estatic to see that our EVIL agenda is working so well.
:eyes:

[HFishbine]

7. I was thinking of marrying my girlfriend

But that seems so quaint now. I'm going to try for a union with her, our cat, the mail lady and a republican senator--preferably from Pennsylvania.

[skooooo]

12. have you thought about Ann Coulter?

[HFishbine]

23. One man, one woman?

One person?

[skooooo]

8. anyone hear Al Franken's skit on gay marriage?

On AA a few weeks back...he calls his wife up on the phone and starts discussing "gay marriage" with Fran. He asked her how she would feel if he married a man.

Fran goes, "Al, you're not gay!"

Al starts in about how he could marry a man and jsut watch football with him - things like that, then he'd come home to Fran just like always.

Fran asks him - "Isn't that what you're already doing?"

Al, "Yeah, but this would make it official."

---------

Really funny.

[DancingBear]

9. Damn gay people

Mrs. DB and I - 29 years together, and now..... POOF.

All because Frank just HAD to marry Carl.

Arrggghhh..

Now what do I do - walking the streets alone - another devastated heterosexual...


/sarcasm

[Beer Snob-50]

11. live in mass!

wife and i don't know what side is up...leaving her for butcher at local shop!! life as we know it is gone!!

[Puglover]

22. And after you and the butcher run off...

we're going to hold you down, force you to listen to showtunes and make you faux finish your living room.
B-)

[Beer Snob-50]

26. well to be honest...

that would make my wife very happy (the faux finish that is!!) can i get my nipples peirced?

[Puglover]

38. Yeouch!

Can't imagine why anyone would want to do that but hey, knock yourself out!

[Misunderestimator]

15. If my partner and I had been married

deleted my little personal rant :)

[KharmaTrain]

16. I Woke Up A Changed Man...

After 28 years with the same person, I found out I was a lesbian in a man's body </sarcasm off/>

I was hearing a wingnut preacher on the car radio yesterday claiming this was the doom and destruction of the human race...Soddom & Gomorrah in the flesh. Now isn't this the type that was hoping for some sort of real biblical act to happen? </saracasm off again/>

[Misinformed01]

17. I expect Michael to leave me for Shakeydave any day now

so sad.

Except that I broke them up in the first place.

[skooooo]

19. Gays Be Settling Down!

[Mr_Scarecrow]

18. The wife and I

decided we're BOTH gay, so it kinda evened out.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

20. Wonderfully. Today's our 2nd anniversary.

as a queer activist who married a non-straight man, what better present could we have gotten than to have equality available for others? I am SO happy.

And whaddya know- the sky didn't fall!

[skooooo]

24. Yeah, but what are you doing to OUR marriages??

Our lives are falling apart because of your kind.

(joke)

[Cannikin]

21. As a flamin' mo.....

Let me (and my partner) apologize for any confusion or turmoil we've caused the hetero community.

[skooooo]

25. thanks..that's a start

every bit helps...

(i'm so verklempt right now)

[iconoclastic cat]

27. After 9 years, like a couple of 19-year-olds!

And we can't wait until some of our friends can marry here in IL! Party!

[Spentastic]

28. It's buggered my life no end

I can't keep telling my mum I'm gay to get her to leave off about me getting bloody married.

[seabeyond]

29. near divorce

cause i spend all my time bitching about repugs and bush for working on 4 years now

oh............you mean end ofmarriage cause some gays got married. nope has done nothing to my marriage.

it is bush all bush.....

teasing marriage terrific

[GiovanniC]

30. I Was Gonna Find Me a Nice Girl

Get married, buy a house, settle down. You know, visit her in the hospital if she ever gets hurt. Cover her under my health insurance policy. Maybe even file joint tax returns.

But now that gay people can do all of that stuff in Massachussetts, it all seems so empty and pointless.

[treepig]

31. has no one else

had a black helicopter land in their backyard, from which alit some menacing "private contractors" to "suggest" that one's first cousin be officially and fully included in their marriage?

no? guess it's just me and bill o'reilly then.

[mcar]

32. Surprisingly well, considering

(end sarcasm)

[pop goes the weasel]

33. I'm not married but

my boyfriend tells me he and his wife aren't doing so well. Damn those gays!

(We'll be back to the Springer Show right after these messages....)

[neebob]

34. Mine's been retroactively destroyed

along with those of a lot of people I know. Obviously, the gays have a time machine and all this applying for marriage licenses and having ceremonies and suing states and stuff is just a ruse, to keep people from figuring it out. I'd go back to like 1955 and look for the Gay Terminator.

[davsand]

35. Hold on let me check--

Nope, hubby still says he's straight and still hates my music and meatloaf...

Can't say much has changed here, but downstate Illinois DOES kind of lag behind the rest of the planet.

You more metropolitan folks, do you think there's any possibility he may learn to like Grace Jones AND my meatloaf????


Laura

[aldian159]

50. yeah, you downstaters are stuck in the 80's

went to Clinton last week and saw a poster for "Risky Business" at the movie theater. Eerie.

[SnohoDem]

36. So far, so good

but we'll take it a day at a time. That's the awful part of these devastating sort of undermining attacks by evil homos on our honored institutions. You think everything's okay: that you're living a normal, happy life, but you're not. You've been devastatingly undermined.

Gotta go - Landover Baptist Church is calling.

[Neshanic]

37. The comfy chair will be used by us, so many couples, so little time.

[SoulDiva]

41. Everything still in one peice???

From the way some people were talking I could have sworn that the ground under Mass. would have opened and swollowed the whole state into the pits of hell. What happened?!?! Still in one peice? Everyone alive? How could they have lied to me?!?!

[newyawker99]

47. Hi SoulDiva!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[SoulDiva]

48. ty very much

Im trying to stay on top of things. Of all the Forums I have ever been a part of ( a lot) this is definitely the busiest. most others I am able to read almost every post and follow the replies, but I can come here 3 times a day and it is swarming with new info. Wonderful job everyone!! So glad I found this. Thank you Michael Moore for linking me here!!

[Hunter_1253]

39. I almost turned gay last night...

but then I remembered I'm straight.

[beyurslf]

40. The institution of marriage now ceases to exist and the fall of

western civilization is at hand. We are doomed! :)

[Butterflies]

42. I'm single, I'm straight, and I'm ready to marry a woman

I hadn't thought of it before, but now I will. Can I still sleep with men? (as long as I don't try to marry them, that is.)

[Wind Dancer]

43. Marriage is great, lol!

I wish the same for my wonderful son - when he meets the right person. My congrats to all the couples who have dreamed of this day in Mass.

[Fleshdancer]

44. my rights just aren't as fun now that THEY have them too!

Black people aren't slaves, women aren't property, and NOW gay people have rights! What is this world coming too??? It's so not fair to the white hetero male population...shouldn't we all strive to be exactly what they want us to be??!!?! (I can't even type this crap without laughing my ass off)

And as for my marriage...well, it's fine and all, but I could really use a housewife...or a househusband (I'm not picky) so if anyone's interested just PM me your resume! I'm pretty sure my husband won't mind.

[Malikshah]

45. In a strange twist, my marriage is failing

My partner and I have suddenly taken a liking to Comedy Central's "The Man Show"

Can't get enough of scantily clad women jumping on trampolines with pitchers of beer spreading foam over their ample....

Whoops, better go get that Playboy from under the mattress.

Who'd a thunk, it-- gay marriage has done turned us straight!

[midnight armadillo]

46. So far so good!

But all the milk in the fridge curdled on Monday morning...weird.

[Mountainman]

49. My wife and I met 20 years ago this month

We lived together for a couple of years before we got married. Both of us felt like getting married then so we did. Times have been good and bad but we are still together.

I hope that all gay and lesbian couples who want to, can have the same happy experience.

[mouse7]

51. Gays should have every right...

...to be every bit as miserable as married heterosexuals.

Wonder what "Married with Children" would look like with Harvey Fierstein paying the Al Bundy role?