Salon: The Bush/Kerry debate in translation.

[onehandle]

This article is listed as opinion, not humor.
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"He forgot Poland, Jim Bob! And Great Britain is two words!"

Oct. 1, 2004  | JIM LEHRER OF PBS: Good evening from the University of Miami. I am not Dan Rather. We interrupt our usual pledge drive to welcome you to the 2004 "He said/He said" between President George W. Bush and Sen. John Kerry.

For each question there is a two-minute response, a 90-second rebuttal, a 10-second eye roll, and a split-second expletive under the breath. There is an audience here, but they will remain absolutely silent, just as if they were attending a rally for the Bush/Cheney campaign.

The first question goes to you, Senator Kerry. Do you believe you could do a better job than President Bush in preventing another 9/11-type terrorist attack on the United States?

KERRY: Duh.

LEHRER: Mr. President, you have a rebuttal.

BUSH: Jimmy, let me put my brand on September the 11th. September the 11th been very, very good to me, and I just want to say thank you to the people of September the 11th. Ever since, seems to me we've been safer. Got the multi-pronged thing going on, lots of extra prongs. So like I've been telling the American people, put a fork in it, Iraq's done. But if my opponent had his way, we would never even have jumped out of the fire into the frying pan.

snip...

LEHRER: And that ends tonight's debate. Impossible to predict the outcome, of course. I'm Jim Lehrer. See you at the Inauguration, Sen. Kerry. And George, have fun storming the ranch.

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2004/10/01/poland/

[PROGRESSIVE1]

1. I love this line:

LEHRER: And that ends tonight's debate. Impossible to predict the outcome, of course. I'm Jim Lehrer. See you at the Inauguration, Sen. Kerry. And George, have fun storming the ranch.