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Late one evening at the Pickens mansion. The legendary billionaire has been entertaining John McCain and Karl Rove.
McCain: I think I’d like to take a break. Do you have a DVD player?
Pickens: Sure. to his assistant Show him, willya?
McCain follows the assistant down the hall to a recreation room. The assistant returns a few minutes later.
Pickens: What’s he watching?
Assistant: Top Gun.
Rove: It’s his favorite.
Pickens: Karl, I gotta ask you. What’s wrong with John?
Rove: suddenly wary How do you mean?
Pickens: He seems goofy. You know. Simple. The John McCain I recall was a pisser. Always mad at somebody. Now he acts like a booby. I saw him on TV the other night. Picks up an Obama tire gauge I felt like I needed this to measure the air pressure inside his damn skull.
Rove: I guess I can tell you.
Pickens: Tell me what?
Rove: He’s, well, dumbed down.
Pickens: You mean, like a lobo-tummy?
Rove: Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s more like self-hypnosis. He practices not understanding things. Being confused about issues.
Pickens: What’s the damn point?
Rove: surprised It’s for the campaign, of course.
Pickens: What’s bein’ dumb have to do with bein’ President?
Rove: Boone, when’s the last time we had a smart President?
Pickens: Bill Clinton.
Rove: Excluding Democrats.
Pickens: thinks Well… I’m thinkin’, I’m thinkin’, don’t rush me. I guess Nixon.
Rove: Right. And look how that turned out.
Pickens: So you’re sayin’ we don’t want a smart President. But then, who do we want?
Rove: A dope. A genial dope.
Pickens: I don’t see that.
Rove: That’s because you’re smart. Smart people never understand how much everybody else hates them. The conservative voter wants to cast his ballot for a candidate that doesn’t understand the issues any better than he does.
Pickens: Possibly a whiff of truth in that. Maybe even a stink bomb.
Rove: Think back to high school. Nothing’s changed.
Pickens: That’s just depressing.
Rove: Not to me. I built a career on it.
McCain reappears in the doorway, wearing pyjamas..
McCain: You don’t have any of that Italian ice cream, do you? Jellytoe? That stuff is just good.
Pickens: I’ll send out for some, Johnny.
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