Reply #61: LOL!

[laundry_queen]

I've noticed that as well. I will admit that in general my children are well-behaved, there has been a few times where we had issues. After my ex-husband and I split my then-7 year old was having a really rough time and started throwing tantrums in public. Like the kind you would see with a 2 year old. There were times when I simply couldn't just take her out of the situation - she was too big to carry and refused to be dragged out of the store. Threats of having priviledges taken away didn't help. And, as a single parent, I had to get groceries because there was no one else to do it. I could see she was having serious problems so I got her in to a highly recommended child psychologist and between that, and working with her school (where she's a perfect angel with perfect marks, go figure) she's doing so much better now! But I remember those sideways glances and the judging and so forth. It was awful. I know I'm not a horrible parent, nor am I a permissive parent. My little girl was just having a hard time dealing with her dad suddenly leaving her life. So, think of stuff like that next time you see a 'brat' in public. You have no idea what is going on in that child's life. My brother used to act up in public because he knew my dad couldn't beat him in public - so I also don't believe in the 'the kid just needs a good swat' theory either. We dealt with my daughter's problems with NO hitting/spanking whatsoever. It just takes a lot of work. Hitting didn't help my brother behave in public - I think it made him worse.

I will also admit I was one of those insufferable 'my kids never misbehave' before the issue with my 7 year old. While it's true I was actually told by numerous people how awesome my kids were, I was smug in thinking they would ALWAYS be that way. Never did I imagine an upheaval in their lives could change something so basic as their public behavior.

So anyway - not every single parent on DU ;)